Out to Get You part 2: Out to Get Me
by demeter11
Summary: This time Negan is in the mix while father to be and newlywed Carl Grimes fights his deep attraction to and real love for his dad, Rick's girlfriend Michonne who happens to not only be his wife's aunt but fighting her own battle about her feelings for him, too. Meanwhile, we learn more about Daryl's past as well as Negan's.
1. Chapter 1- Fk the Sun

The sky was streaked light blue and indigo with menstrual pink splashes as the seemingly endless night was coming to an end.

It was during this time that Rick made his weak ass threat of murder against Negan who then answered him by dragging his lame, undeservingly egotistical narrow ass by the collar like one would an errant puppy or preschooler and threw him into the camper.

Tomeka was still aboard when Negan jumped in and got behind the wheel.

The Savior Gavin had been keeping her company off and on all night. Even going so far as to give her water and snacks without being told. He even let use the bathroom.

Tomeka liked him. She liked any older man who was kind to her since her father Cortez never was.

Rick and Tomeka made eye contact as Negan drove off.

He squeezed her hand fleetingly as if to tell her everything was all right.

Tomeka nodded.

Feeling brave and wanting to impress Rick, the girl asked Negan, "Mr. Negan, sir, where are you taking us?"

"Us? Little girl, there is no us. I am teaching Prick here a lesson," Negan replied.

Braver still, she inquired, "What exactly?"

"What happened to all the respect? In my day, we knew better than to ask adults these kind of questions."

"You being grown and a male and white does not make you better than underage, female and black me. It just doesn't. And so what you are in charge of my people for now. If my twelve and three fourths years have taught me anything is nothing, not a goddamned thing lasts forever. Good or bad. So, if I have a question, I am gonna fucking ask it. Where are you taking us?" Tomeka heard how he spoke to people. She felt him out and figured he would respect her for this.

She was right. If she had not learned how to read adults, she would have been dead years ago.

Like she suspected, he responded well.

"Well, goddamn, little lady. I like you. I have a question or six for you. Tell me about Priyanka."

"Why?" She asked.

"She trusted you with her son. You are in her inner circle. The Pharaohs. I have heard of you guys. You have an outpost in, uh, Richmond. As of three weeks ago, they are mine. Is it true, its queen, its leader as it were is it really a teenaged girl? Is that girl, Alice Richter? You probably know her as Jagadamba? Or Jacie Tony?" Negan asked clearly flaunting his past with Priyanka.

Tomeka became silent determined not to give him what he wanted.

Rick was beyond surprised to hear about Richmond.

_I knew Jagadamba and her rabble were keeping a secret, _Rick thought.

"I don't know what you are talking about," Tomeka going out her way to seem hard.

Negan sniggered as he realized something.

"You like him, don't you? It's those big, blue eyes of his, isn't? Eyes so deep you could swim in them. I am telling you if I liked dick, we would have solved this quandary another way," Negan then made an obscene hand gesture.

Tomeka face turned red hot with embarrassment and anger. Only other time, she was ever teased like this was by her dad albeit way more viciously.

"Leave her alone. Fuck with me. I can take it," Rick said with authority.

Negan stopped the vehicle. He threw the hatchet out the door and Rick behind it.

He said, "Let's test that theory."

Then closed the door behind him.

Tomeka reacted by jumping to her feet to try to go after him. Negan gently shoved her back down.

"Little girl, you cannot help him. Even if you did, it wouldn't make a damn bit of difference. He is never going to notice or care."

"What are you talking about?"

"You have a crush. I even go as far as to say you love him. He will always see you as you are right now. A tall, skinny, awkward brown little orphan Annie with a ponytail instead of a fro. Only thing missing is braces and glasses. You are plain."

Tomeka held in tears.

_He's not telling me something I don't already know. ASSHOLE. He is like my dad, _shethought.

Then Negan softened.

"That is how Rick see you. You see, he is an idiot. I can see beyond all that. I see a cross between a young Tyra Banks and Regina King. Do you know they are?"

She shook her head no.

"Tyra Banks was a supermodel, actress, talkshow host, all around badass bitch. Above all, she was gorgeous. She was black with green eyes and red hair, too. Mocha skinned. Great figure, I mean. Damn. I mean forget Regina King, she was hot, too but she was no Tyra.

In a couple years, you are going to blossom like a flower. Tig ol' bitties, hips, little waist. The whole nine. He will never see you but I do. In six years time, you are going to be a total knockout and I am going to be on the lookout for you," Negan reached out to tweak her chin.

She scooted back.

Negan laughed.

_I have never been complimented and threatened and creeped out all at once, _Tomeka thought.

Negan quickly forgot about Tomeka and began taunting Rick.

"Give my hatchet. Find my hatchet," he said over and over sticking his head through the open window.

Tomeka felt like she was in hell. She felt bullied. She hadn't felt this way since before she stabbed her father in the eye.

In the midst of this, she interrupted.

"What did you do our people in Richmond? At the hotel? Did you kill them all?"

"It may have escaped your notice but that is Rick's forte. Not mine. I personally wasn't there. But, I was told five of them bit it. Only was supposed to be one but you know how that goes."

"You just murdered two people and you act like it is nothing."

"Murder is what your boyfriend did to my people. They were asleep for fuck sakes. They didn't see it coming. No chance to defend themselves. Nothing.

The big red one had to take one for the team. Bruce Lee was the dirty white boy's fault. They knew what was about to happen to them. Actions have consequences. Pure and simple.

I am going tell you like I told them, to make this truly square, I would have to kill all of you. I didn't. And I won't. Unless I have to. I like to save people. Hence the name. You don't realize it yet but I saved all of you tonight. I showed mercy."

"You remind me of my father," Tomeka said ruefully.

"I remind of you a great man?"

"Anything but. He was a monster. You are a monster."

"Let me guess. Rick killed him and that is why he has your undying devotion?"

"No, me and J.B. did. She slit his throat while I stabbed him in the eye. I wonder what's going to happen to you when your time comes?"

Negan snorted as Rick beat the window to be let back in.

"I got your fucking hatchet," Rick said tempted to bury it in his skull. However, he was certain this act would mean death for people. So, he refrained.

Negan knew before he left them to their own devices, he was going to have to thoroughly put them both in their place.

Thirty minutes passed.

The sun actually dared to finally come out. It felt hollow and cold despite the heat of the day.

_Fuck the sun, _Maggie thought seeing her husband's still tennis shoed feet out the corner of her eye.

The RV returned.

He pulled Rick out and instructed Tomeka to follow.

She stood stunned when she observed the corpses of Abraham Ford and Glenn Rhee up close. She saw from the RV that he had beat two men to death. She didn't see the extent of the brutality until then. She hated him even more. But, her fear of him also grew exponentially.

He motioned for Daryl and Priyanka to be released. Baby Dare was assigned to Laura who had lost her baby two years before.

He wanted all the Alexandrians to see the limit of his mercy and the exquisite fullness of his wrath.

Negan went on for a couple minutes about how half their shit was his. How they were all Negan now.

Then he looked at Rick and Carl for that matter and saw defiance lingering there. Priyanka and Tomeka, too.

He called on Carl therefore scaring the whey out of his rival Rick, his former lover and the twelve year old girl.

He asked the young father-to-be was he a southpaw, left handed.

He replied no.

Figuring the boy was a righty, he instructed him to take off his belt.

"That hurt?" Negan asked as strapped it around his forearm.

Carl responded, "No."

Negan replied in an almost lighthearted manner, "It's supposed to."

Carl hunched.

He told him to lie down.

Carl reluctantly obeyed.

_I am not going to see Jag or Enid or Judy or Ceej or Ana or Marco or my unborn ever again. I am a about to fucking lose my life, _Carlthought_._

The thought more angered him than saddened him.

Negan asked his henchman, Simon for a marker. Being a Johnny on the spot, he had one.

"This ought to feel colder than a witch's titties in a brass bra," he said laughing and reveling in all the tension. He also noticed the tattoo on Carl's neck. He recognized the initials J.B.C.A.

_Her daughter's initials on the back of his neck. Definitely her son in law, _Negan thought.

He looked over at Priyanka and smirked.

He walked over to Rick and handed him the hatchet before instructing him to cut off his arm still making eye contact with Priyanka.

"Do it to me. Don't make me do this," Rick begged over prostrate son.

All of his anger at his son for what he did with his girlfriend dissolved. For a moment anyway. All he wanted was that boy alive.

Crying and snotting, Rick continued to beg. Eventually both Michonne and Priyanka spoke up for him.

"We get it. You're in charge," they said in unison.

"Rick, here doesn't. He is still looking at me like I took a shit in his eggs. Cut off his arm or I will beat his brains out myself but not before I order my men to kill every other bitch and bastard here first. Starting with her," Negan pointed at Tomeka.

He then told Davy to, "Really get up on her. Make sure little miss father killer really feels that muzzle against that head of hers. I usually don't kill kids as young as het. But, since she's a murderer, I will make the exception," Negan said.

Her bravado melted away like butter in a too hot pan. She began to cry and shake. So scared at the thought of dying that she urinated on herself.

Carl saw this and heard what Negan said.

Remaining very calm and feeling like he was dead either way, and only able to see his wife's face and hear her voice, Carl said, "Dad, just do it."

"But, Carl-"

"Do it," he reiterated.

Rick took a deep breath and in a barrage of tears, held up the hatchet to do it.

Just as Rick wad about to bring his arm down, Negan stayed his hand.

"Now see. This is where I want you, Rick. You get it now? I decide what happens to you. You, your son, that little Lyle Melendez over there, you all are Negan now. Say it."

He grabbed Rick by the hair.

Like sand in his throat, Rick replied, "I am Negan." This was officially the worst moment of his life.

Negan instructed his men to lower their weapons as well as to, "Grab the redneck and my hot ex and her kid and let's get the fuck out of here. Leave these assholes to their own devices."

As the Saviors scattered to leave, Negan was sure to say, "See you soon, Rick. See you soon."


	2. Chapter 2- A Chill down your Spine

Gabriel was on his on his way to the church when he recognized Jagadamba from behind as she was about to open the door.

He shouted, "Hold it open."

She heard him.

As he caught up with her, he put his hand on the door so she could enter before him.

She sat on the first pew and began to wail.

Gabriel did not need to ask why she was upset. He sat down beside her.

He wanted to comfort her but he knew she didn't like being touched when she was upset.

But, here's the thing, she wasn't upset. She was sorrowful. She was mourning.

Needing the comfort, she held her arms open to him.

When Gabriel looked at her could imagine her as a toddler doing the same.

He saw her as what she ultimately still was no matter how loud she clacked she wasn't a child. He had avuncular affection for her.

He embraced her tightly as she cried onto his chest.

"I know it doesn't seem like it now but everything will work itself out. They will return. All of them," he tried to reassure her.

"No, they won't. The world doesn't work like that anymore. If it ever did. We should consider ourselves blessed if most of them come back. That is all we can hope for," Jagadamba said still weeping.

"I like to aim a little higher than that," he said.

"Now you just sound patronizingly naïve. What exactly did Rick instruct you to do anyway?" She was sniffling.

"Make sure Judith, you, Carly-Jayne, Enid and the rest of the children were evacuated first if they have not made it back by daybreak. Then everyone else."

"I agree the little ones and Enid should leave first.

But, I can't do that. I know I claim otherwise to Rick and his rabble but I am still in charge of the Pharaohs. I can't abandon them and save my own hide. And once we evacuate, then what? What's the meeting place? Where are we going?"

"Rick figured if they survived we should meet up eventually on the road if we all go south."

Jagadamba scoffed.

"That's not a plan. It's a wish. Rick has nowhere for us to go. What about food and water?"

"We have plenty of nonperishables and water."

"What about the perishables? Wasting food of any sort nowadays is a sin. It's so hard to come by. What's plan b if we can't evacuate? Where does he want the children stashed? What if we take the fight to them? We don't even know where the Saviors home base is. Going south, we could be walking right onto their territory.

Rick is too reactionary. He doesn't plan ahead. He's not methodical enough. Just the fact he let Carl, my mom and Tomeka tag along is testament to that. The fact Michonne and Daryl, Glenn and that Mexican chick left without consulting him first-"

Gabriel corrected, "Mexican's name is Rosita."

"Whatever. My point is my people never would have done that. Because we are in this together. There is strength in numbers and Rick's people can't seem to wrap their tiny minds around that.

I tried to tell that prick so many times this day was going to come. He refused to listen to me. I tried to talk to him last night. He basically told me shut up and go to bed.

Now cause of Rick's extraordinary stupidity and spite, he and six other members of my family are possibly dead.

All because he didn't want to believe someone he considers an ignorant child.

He may have a point about my being stupid compared to him. He's old; he is supposed to know things I don't. But, I am not stupid about surviving. And I am not a child."

Gabriel took a deep breath and said, "You certainly aren't stupid. But, you are a child.

Before you get insulted. Hear me out," he said.

The expression on her face said this have better be good.

"Children are resilient and can adapt to anything. If you had been a woman going through what you did at twelve years old and beyond, you would have been dead years ago. On top of that you are a child of God. Being a child is a strength. Not a weakness."

Jagadamba blushed.

"Well, when you put it like that," she said.

"I admit Rick's plan is wanting. I was hoping that wouldn't matter because he should have been back by now. What's your plan?"

"For starters, we aren't going anywhere. Not until they return or until we find out what happened to them. Everyone over the age of thirteen who is willing can carry a weapon. Sixteen and above being armed is compulsory. Mandatory."

"I know what words mean."

"No disrespect. I am used to talking to little children.

Anyway, we'll do it in the morning. When I leave here, I will tell some of the Pharaohs and any willing Alexandrians to, uh, guard the perimeter and only kill if necessary. Otherwise, we should capture the enemy and find out where they are headquartered. We'll relocate all the children here in the church if need be."

"We have a catacombs of sorts. It used to be a storm drain but it hasn't been operational in years if ever. We can put them there."

Jagadamba had no knowledge of this.

"Why was I not told about it sooner?"

"We didn't know about it until like a month ago."

"I was here a month ago."

"Rick felt like it was strictly need to know. His son doesn't even know about it."

"Because he knew he would tell me. Why does Rick mistrust me so much? What the eff have I ever done to him? I have been nothing but kind. I have shared. I fell in line. I mean yeah, I also fell into bed with his son but that is not enough reason to hate me. Enid took his cherry and Rick and her are breakfast buddies.

As for me, his son's actual wife and he leaves me all by myself after I was attacked. He didn't so much as pat me on the head.

If I didn't know any better I would say it was because I am black. But, I know that's not it. A man as white as Rick doesn't dick down a woman as black as Michonne and hates negroes. He was never this nice or affectionate or concerned with Mrs. Grimes' lily-white ass as he is with hers. Everybody always just loves old bandanna wearing, dreadlocked lawyer, katana wielding her," she said really wrapping her mind around the fact Carl and Michonne had an affair.

Gabriel saw this as an opening to ask her about Richmond.

After all, he has been up in the guard tower when Bigelow loudly mentioned it to her. He also wanted to ask why she was so venomous about Michonne.

And, Hell, he also wanted to mention to her saw Priyanka and Rick banging but he refrained.

He didn't want to further distress a scared, angry pregnant woman-child.

"Maybe is what it is. You took his baby boy from him," he said literally biting his tongue so much he could taste copper in his mouth.

"He took and takes Carl for granted. He's only a part of the reason. Enid is no threat to him. She has no real power other than that baby in her belly. Rick has been the king for lack of a better word for awhile now. He's defeated all his foes. So, he thinks. And for whatever reason he thinks that I am the enemy."

"You have the cult of personality."

"So, does he. Just by being gorgeous, white, a former sheriff and a man people assume the best of him. I am attractive, black, female and young. I have to actually try. People assume the worst of me. Not the best."

"You have something he doesn't have. That trumps all that. The power of celebrity. People remember who you were before. That's powerful."

"I know celebrity is a magical thing to some people. I don't use it to my advantage.

He has no reason to fear me. And for his benefit, I declared in front of everyone that I am not in charge anymore."

"It's not fear. It's reservation."

"He doesn't like me. I don't believe he ever truly did. I think he only wanted me around growing up to appease his wife. Bushrod, too when it came to Carl. I think Lori wanted a daughter and my mom, I mean my grandma Jayne wanted a son; so they basically traded babies. Lori got a daughter in me and Jayne got a son in Carl.

Truth be told, I am not that crazy about Rick's ass either. But, I do love him. Like I have said before he made Carl. Therefore, I can't hate him.

Unless, he doesn't come back with Carl alive."

"I hope he does. Carl has always been my friend. But, if that doesn't happen- the two of you have been through enough.

The two of you will need each other to get through it."

Jagadamba scoffed.

"If Rick comes back with my husband's corpse; after I wake up from fainting and after I calm down enough to speak without sobbing or breaking out into hives, I am going to ask how it happened. Then I am going to bide my time. Not too much time, mind you. I will probably wait until after I give birth. Then I am going to kill Rick the same way he died but slower. Michonne, too. And any asshole who tries to stand in my way. I don't care about the consequences or even if they overpower me and take me out. I am not sure I want to live if he's gone. It was one thing when I thought I would never see him again. Then I found him when I wasn't even looking anymore. To lose him again. For real, this time. It would break me. I know it would. I love him so much. I can't," she began to sob again.

"Why is murder your go to?"

"What right does he have to be alive if his son, isn't? He had one job. I know I have a dead child. And I do blame myself for his murder. Its my fault he was deaf. My shitty genes.

Why did he let his male heir tag along? Knowing he's about to be a father, too? That's so dumb. And letting my, my mother come along? They are not friends. I just don't understand. I want to understand."

"Why do you want to kill Michonne? She shares blood with you."

"Carl left to find her. I know he did. He abandoned me for her. There is no other way to look at it. If there was ever any doubt how he felt about her. It's gone. He didn't even wake up me up to ask my opinion. He knew he was wrong. Hell, he locked Enid in a closet to keep her from going. He knew he was taking his life into his hands. And for what? He told Enid it was to save this place. In that case, why not stay home with your pregnant wife and ex, little sister, your adopted daughter, foster children? Keep them calm and safe?"

"They are close. She's like a mother to him."

Jagadamba scoffed again.

"Just like Oedipus and his mammy," she said folded her arms and began to shake her leg angrily.

"What makes you say that?"

"I got my reasons."

"I guess its only natural to be a little jealous. Your aunt is a pretty woman."

"She's not _that_ pretty. I have seen better. Priyanka is much prettier than her."

"She's prettier than most. It's where you get it from."

She almost smiled and replied, "I don't want to talk about either of them anymore."

"Fair enough."

"People keep forgetting or don't care that I have been through a lot this past week. I found out on my birthday that my whole life is a lie. My sister was never my sister. She is my mum. My father committed suicide. He went to his grave thinking I was dead. My dad is not my dad but was actually my first cousin once removed who only adopted me because of guilt.

My big brother is actually my second cousin. My mother is not actually my mother but my grandma. And my maternal great- grandparents were Nazi war criminals. My life is just f-u-c-k-e-d."

Gabriel frowned and said, "Nazis?"

"Priyanka's German grandma. She made lampshades out of people among other things."

"Such a happy family," he said facetiously.

Defensive, she replied, "I heard about what you did to your parishioners, coward. You don't get to judge me or mine."

"I did do that. I am not proud and no amount of good works will ever mask the stench of that sin. Nothing. Surely, there is something you have done that you can't cover."

Jagadamba looked at him with all the guilt in the world.

"I know you heard Bigelow mention Richmond."

"I did. What is it?"

"Well, it's our home base. An old Hilton hotel. It was supposed to be a safe haven in case this shit happened. Remember when I threatened to kidnap you guys my second day here? That's where we would have gone."

"I do remember. Why keep it a secret?"

"Same reason why we have been hiding supplies. In case someone gets taken hostage. Alexandrians, I mean."

"A hundred miles?"

"One hundred and four. About an hour and a half non-stop. Three hours if you figure in the walker hordes and debris."

"Confession is good for the soul. What else are you keeping secret? What would have happened to Alexandria if Rick and Carl and Michonne hadn't been here?"

Jagadamba cleared her throat in such a way it sounded like a smirk.

Looking older than her years, she replied ominously, "Let's both be glad neither of us ever had to find out," the look in her eyes turned so cold that he felt a literal chill go down his spine.


	3. Chapter 3- The Third Wheel

Enid and Bigelow- The Third Wheel

Enid felt shy when she saw Bigelow at the watchtower.

So, she instead went back to her empty home and took several deep breaths. She was determined to keep a cool head.

They will be back tonight. They got a little turned around. Maggie's baby is fine. They've all found each other and are on their way home. That's it, Enid thought.

She took a shower and sat wet on her bed and made a decision.

Whether it was the Rhees or the Grimeses- she was sick of being a third wheel. The one everybody felt sorry for.

She picked up the walkie-talkie.

"Bigelow, do you copy?" She asked.

Bigelow had been waiting to hear from her all evening. He knew proposing to her was huge. He wanted to give her space.

"Hey, baby. How you holding up? I know your friends and Carl are out there," he said sweetly.

"Concerned. But, I believe they are coming back."

He believed them already dead but replied a bit too cheerfully, "Of course they are. Over."

"I have been thinking. And I want you to know my answer is yes. I will be your bride. Over," she said smiling. And surprised at how easily the words came out her mouth.

This was the first time Bigelow felt anything resembling joy since before the coup on Cortez and his last girlfriend, Marina.

He jumped off the watchtower hurting his knee in the process but he didn't care. All he wanted was to get her house.

Enid felt him coming and greeted him at the door. She was still clad in only a towel.

She greeted him with a kiss.

She wrapped her arms and legs around him, dropping the towel in the process.

He carried her up the stairs. Not once did his lips leave hers.

Once inside her room, he lied her on the bed. All the lights were on. Something she had been too shy to do with Carl the first time they did it.

Upon seeing her in the altogether, Bigelow proclaimed, "That boy is a blind fool. Goodness gracious, you fine," he said before taking off his shirts.

Bigelow was ripped like Arnold Schwarzenegger in Conan the Barbarian. His muscles had muscles.

He then let down his long wheat blond hair. Taking her breath away even more.

"Hubba, hubba. You look like a meal. Come here," She sat up and undid his belt and fly. He did not have on any underwear.

There he was all blond curly pubes and hard as a rock.

Naturally, she compared him to her ex. It wasn't as long as Carl's but it was just as thick if not a little thicker. It was darker at the tip and slightly curved to the right.

Since Bigelow was older than her, she wanted to impress him. Prove she was not some inexperienced little girl. She began to blow him.

Even though this was his first sexual encounter in months and as nice as it felt, he said gently, "Stop."

Flustered and a little embarrassed, she asked, "Am I not doing right? Too much teeth? Not enough? Want me to play with your balls? What's your thing?"

"You were amazing. I just find blowjobs impersonal. There is a disconnect. There's not enough give and take, back and forth. I like the sweaty exchange of energies. To me, that is the entire point, the fun of it all. I want to be able to look into those beautiful eyes of yours. Hear your sweet voice and kiss those ruby lips. I can't do that if they're wrapped around my hog," he said sincerely.

She smiled and blushed and lied back down.

He stepped out his pants and shoes and climbed into bed with her.

They made out for about twenty minutes before she got up enough gall to ask him, "What your stance on giving oral? I assume it is the same?"

Bigelow scoffed, "Furpie is like my favorite dessert."

He ducked down under the covers to prove it to her.

Ten minutes passed. It was slow going at first but once he found that sweet spot he attacked it. Forever, a screamer, Enid did just that.

He slid back up her body.

"That was good. Really good good," she said breathlessly.

Unable to resist, Bigelow asked, "Better than him?"

"Better than him but not as good as her She has a gift," she teased.

"I guess I have to try harder."

"I am fucking with you. I don't like to compare. Its unfair."

"Good to know."

They kissed for a tick. Enid ran her hands allover his torso.

He's so big and muscly. Maggie is right. Carl is a twink compared to him, she thought giggling.

Bigelow had made his way on top of her.

Not yet inside her, he asked, "You got rubbers?"

"Yes. In my nightstand. But, why? Already pregnant. It's kinda my main storyline," Enid said.

"I know. I just don't want to seed another man's garden. It's hella disrespectful."

Bigelow respected Carl. Moreover, he respected her and that little life she had flourishing inside her.

She couldn't help but smile as he reached for the condoms.

Before putting one on, he inquired, "Are you doing this because you want to be with me? Or because you are trying not to think about him? Or are you mourning?"

She solemnly replied, "All of the above. But, mostly the first one."

"Good enough for me," he said.

They proceeded to make love.

Three minutes in, the walkie-talkie clicked on.

It was Jagadamba.

"You got to be shitting me," Enid groaned.

Bigelow sighed, "If your timing was ever this bad when you were acting, you never would have made it. Is it important? Are they back?"

"No. Will you come and be with me? I am with Achilles and my babies. And Judy. And Boy. Grab Enid, too if you see her. You guys may be the only family I have left," she said on the verge of boo-hooing.

Bigelow feeling awkward said, "I can't right now. I am need a little private time to myself."

"Private time? Everyone I love is out there. My husband, my father in law, my aunt, my stepdaughter and my actual newborn brother and my . . . Mom are out there. That is six people. I am just asking you to be with me."

"I don't ask you for anything, Jagadamba. I don't."

"Just food, shelter, security. No biggie. I am just asking for time," she said exasperatedly.

"We worked toward those things together. You didn't do it alone. You tell that story to the Alexandrians. Not me.

The real deal is. Enid said yes and I just want to spend some time with her. I know the timing isn't the best but she needs me. And I need her. I am sorry. He'll be home soon."

Jagadamba wanted to go off on them but instead took a deep breath. She almost felt like they were making fun of her.

As sweetly as she could manage and summoning all her acting ability, "I am so happy for you two. Spend the night together. Celebrate your love. No reason we should all be scared to death and miserable. Congratulations."

"Thank you, J.B. That means everything coming from you," Bigelow meant that.

She gave a grunt of approval before signing off.

Enid smiled and snorted, "You know she's completely losing her shit right now."

"Probably just threw the walkie against the wall. Calling me selfish."

"Enough about her," Enid wrapped her legs around him and put her hands in his hair.

Jagadamba- Momma

She turned off the walkie-talkie and threw it against the wall. It shattered.

"That fucker chooses today of all days to be a selfish prick? I can't believe them. All that friend crap Enid spouted earlier. Bitch even made me cut my hand. How selfish can you be?" Jagadamba asked.

Achilles laughed at her lack of self awareness.

"You are your mother's child," Achilles said.

"What are you talking about?"

"All you had to do was talk to her this morning. She left because she was upset over you. Pure and simple. Now my girlfriend and son are out there floating in the ether because you and your goddamned ego. She even said your husband begged you to talk to her."

"I didn't make her leave. Don't lay this at my feet. This isn't my fault. I can't control what other people do. And how dare you?"

"It's always all about you. How you feel. What you need. You always came first. Let someone else have what they want for a change."

"You are so passive aggressive. You have always been jealous of me."

"Never. I was always proud of you and your accomplishments. So, fuck you. There's a possibility I have lost everything. At least you still have your children. I may have just lost mine. If so, I wanna die. I wanna die," Achilles just collapsed.

Jagadamba ran to her brother and collected him.

"It's okay. They will be back. I know it," she said barely keeping it together herself.

Marco, a pessimist, said, "They are already dead."

"Don't talk like that. They are fine. Take it back," Jagadamba demanded.

"No. It's stupid to think they are alive," he said.

Carly-Jayne listening and feeling all the tension and turmoil asked, "What's dead mean? I hear that word a lot."

"It means you are gone and never coming back," Marco said.

"Like Mo?" She asked in tears. She remembered her brother more than not.

"Just like him. Your papa, your grandma and grandpa. Your aunt, Tommie, the baby- all dead. And soon we all will be, too," Marco said coldly.

Both Ana and Carly-Jayne began to weep. Judith did, too. She did not know what was going on. It just seemed like the thing to do.

Enraged and before Jagadamba could reprimand him, Boyardee got up and slapped Marco hard across the face. She hated anybody that made Carly-Jayne cry. She loved her baby sister.

"See what you made me do. Don't talk to C.J. like that. They are fine. Tell them, Jag-"

Jagadamba flew up and punched Boyardee in the mouth.

"See, what you made me do, bitch? Keep your grubby fucking hands off my son. You hear me, bitch? Get out of my house. Next I see you, it better be because you are apologizing to Marco."

Boyardee rolled her eyes and said nothing as she stormed out.

Jagadamba comforted a crying Marco.

Then said, "She had no right putting her hands on you. This is true. However, she had a point. What you said was cruel. You made your little sisters cry. All three of those girls are your little sisters, not just Ana. Carly-Jayne and Judith, too. They are yours to love and protect. That's what Carl does with Judith. Don't you want to be like him?" She asked gently.

Marco nodded, "He called me son earlier. I felt like I had a mom with you and a dad with him. I know you guys are like only nine years older than me but that is what you two feel like. I don't want him dead. I love him. Good things don't like me."

He pouted.

Between the slap and Carl missing, his young mind was thinking about his abused past more than usual.

Recognizing that expression of absolute dejection, Jagadamba embraced him. She motioned for all the little ones to come to her.

"It's all right. We have each other. Whether they come back or not, we have each other. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to be angry. But, we have no right to take it out on each other. We are here to comfort each other. Support each other. Love one another. Isn't that right, Achilles?" She asked.

He gave a proud smile and said, "Yes, it is."

Achilles thought, Dad totally would've said something like that. He'd be so proud of her right now. I am proud of her right now.

Feeling left of the hug action her adoptive big brother wanted in. He joined them.

Gabriel- The Mission is to Help

An hour or so later, Gabriel sat alone in his rectory gulping down his third snifter of vodka. His mind was obsessed with Richmond and the last thing Jagadamba said.

Rick's right to be suspicious of her. What else is the queen hiding? He thought truly weary of the girl.

"She is part Nazi. Good thing she is beautiful. Creepy ass heifer," he laughed at himself for being so judgmental.

And just like that he put his mind on something else. Anything else.

He was an odd combination of bored and anxious. Banxious.

He just wanted whatever horror that was about to befall them to go ahead and rear his head so he then take the appropriate action. In short, he had no patience and he hated waiting.

After about thirty minutes of that, he decided to go door to door and check up on everyone.

He had knocked on about ten doors when he came upon the Rhees door.

Granted, he knew they weren't there but wanted to see how Enid was holding up.

He was surprised when a shirtless Bigelow answered.

"Hey, rev. What brings you to this home of great abode?" Bigelow was cheesing like the Cheshire cat. He was always a little grandiose when he was happy.

"Check on Enid and her condition. Clearly, you just took her temperature," he said disapprovingly.

"I see what you just did there, Rev. Gross. You knew she and I are a thing. I told you all about it earlier."

"I thought you guys were gonna stay chaste until she gave birth."

"Dude, I am not Joseph and she's not Mary. As precious as that little one in her belly most certainly is, it's no Jesus. There's no harm in us being intimate. Anyways, a good looking guy like you? You can't tell me you have never had the premaritals before," he said accusingly.

"I am Episcopalian. I enjoy the company of women. I can marry and have children."

Hearing an opening, Bigelow announced, "I just got engaged."

"Congratulations," Gabriel got an idea.

He continued, "My mission is to help. What if I do you and Enid a favor?"

"What? Go away?"

"Marry the two of you tonight. I did it for Carl and Jagadamba."

"That is not the shiniest recommendation. Besides, my girl deserves a dress, a veil, a cake. A feast. She deserves to be celebrated. Have a lovely day. I owe her."

"Maybe yesterday what you just said would have flown. However, we both know that is a suggestion. That dream is just that. What's going down now puts paid to that.

A simple ceremony is probably your best bet. Why wait? We might not have tomorrow."

Enid overheard.

Clad in Bigelow's shirt, she cooed wrapping her arms around him, "Sounds like a plan, preacher man."

The lovers agreed and got dressed in their cleanest clothes.

"You need a witness," Gabriel said.

Bigelow knew just the person.

Enid, Boyardee and Jagadamba- Little Sisters

He knocked on his kid sister's door.

Boyardee answered.

Still pissed about being punched, she answered the door grumpily.

"Are they back?" She asked holding an ice pack up to her face.

"Nawl. What happened to you?" Bigelow asked.

"Nothing. What's up?"

"Enid and I are engaged. And we want to get married tonight. And I was wondering if you would be our witness?"

Boyardee scoffed.

"Fuck your happiness," then she slammed the door.

Bigelow stood there gobsmacked.

"I guess that's a no then," he said to himself pouting.

As he turned to walk away, his sister ran out and hugged him from behind.

"I am happy for you, dummy. Of course, I will be your witness. Where's my new little sister?" Boyardee laughed.

Enid had been hiding on the side of the house. She had been fully prepared to curse out Boyardee about her fiancé.

She came out and Boyardee embraced her.

"You make Bigs so happy. He talks about you like he used to talk about Anakin Skywalker. So, that's a lot."

Enid smirked and said, "So, you're a Trekkie?" Enid's dad was a Star Wars super fan. She knew this would irk him.

Boyardee laughed but Bigelow looked mortified.

"J'accuse! My God, woman. I don't know if I can marry a woman who thinks Trekkies and Star Wars fans are even in the same universe. I-"

"Obi-Wan Kenobi is the real bad guy. All he had to do was be on Anakin's side just once. Or, or just kill him-"

"Outright. I know. Everything is Obi-Wan's fault. Not to mention-"

They said in unison, "Mace Windu. Yoda."

Enid added, "His only ally was Qui-Gon Jinn. And they murdered him as soon as they could. Poor Anakin never stood a chance of fair treatment after that. The rest of the Jedi were either scared or jealous of him. Or some combo there of," Enid smiled widely. She knew she had just impressed her future husband.

Bigelow took her by the hand and said with reverence, "You are truly the Leia to my Han. I can't to be able to call you Mrs. Dalton."

"Enid Grace Savage- Dalton. I like it. Wait. What's your middle name?"

"You're gonna laugh," he said brimming.

"Come on. Tell me, lover," she teased.

"Bigelow Carl Dalton," he said.

She scoffed and chortled, "Carl? You shitting me."

Boyardee collaborated.

"It's a family name. My middle name is Carl, too. Our mother's maiden name," she smiled.

Enid shook her head and they headed toward the church.

During this time, Jagadamba used Momma magicks and got Marco, Ana, Carly-Jayne and Judith asleep. All in the same bed, her bed to be exact.

She comforted Achilles and through the grace of God got him calm and he soon drifted off, too.

Needing to connect to God and have a little time alone, she decided to go back to the chapel.

As she opened the double doors, she was surprised to see Enid and Bigelow at the altar and Gabriel at the helm.

Her mouth flew open and she screamed, "Stop."

Angered at her seeming objection, Bigelow replied, "No. We're getting married, you hypocrite. How dare you? What are you even doing here?"

"It's a church, dum-dum. I am here to pray and talk to Gabriel. I need comfort. Nobody else is willing to give it to me.

Besides, I don't give a damn about y'all getting married. Mazel tov. I care because you guys look like hell. This is a reason to celebrate. Let me dress you up, E. And Bigelow, I know you got better clothes than that. Respect your vows. This is a good thing. Please let me make this special for you guys. I need the distraction. E, I am sure you do, too."

Enid agreed. Boyardee was about to follow them when Jagadamba turned around and said, "Where do you think you going?"

"With you guys. I am apart if the wedding party. Look, I am sorry. Marco was being a dick. I had no right to hit him. But, he made Carly-Jayne cry. I can't abide by that. I always wanted a baby sister. And I don't want nothing or anybody to hurt her. I saw how she got here and she needs constant kindness in her life. It's bad enough they are out there. And there is a possibility what he said is true. I hope he is wrong. Our family and friends are out there. I know I give your hubby a hard time but I like him. You love him therefore I do, too. So, I am sorry. I will apologize to Marco later."

Jagadamba held in tears but forgave her. They hugged.

The girls went to Jagadamba's house to get supplies. Bigelow went his own way.

Upon entering they were surprised to see Carly-Jayne and Judith awake in the living room. They had woke up Achilles.

"Young lady, what are doing up? Let me put you back to bed," Jagadamba said.

Achilles spoke on his niece's behalf.

"She wants to stay up until her Papa comes home. She wants to be there to tell him how much she missed him. She did the same thing when you were gone last week. I think she is starting to get abandonment issues. Which is unfair. Why did Carl leave anyway? I mean, his family is here," Achilles didn't realize he had just said a mouthful.

Enid and Jagadamba looked at each other. They both knew why.

"No. I have to stay up and wait for Papa. And Grandma and Grandpa and Auntie and Tommie. Miss Maggie and Mister Glenn. And Sasha and A'ham," Carly-Jayne said drawing and eating a sugar cookie.

"All right. Wanna get dressed up and see your big brother get married?" She decided no more pretenses. Her daughter had the right to know that the Daltons were her siblings. That she had the right to know about Galen.

Boyardee was shocked.

"I don't have a brother, Momma. He's dead."

"Your little brother is dead. But, your big brother isn't. Bigelow is your brother. Boyardee is your sister. You have the same father. You don't call her aunt anymore or him uncle. Just Bigelow and Boyardee. Okay?"

The four year old was confused.

"I thought I didn't have a papa until I met Carl. So, he's not my papa anymore? Where's the other one?"

Boyardee interjected, "Carl is your papa. You don't have to be blood to be family. Your Momma is my family. Enid, too. Our father did a bad thing and got dead because of it. It happened before you were born."

"How? Is Papa going to die, too?" She asked about to cry again.

"No, Carl is not going to die. He will be back. As for Galen, that was his name, I will tell when you are older. We both will, won't we, Jagadamba?" Boyardee said showing more maturity than anyone though she had.

Jagadamba nodded.

"I am a little sister like you?" Carly-Jayne asked Boyardee.

"Yes. And your Momma and Judith and Ana are all little sisters, too. You are in a special group," she replied picking her up.

"You are my big sister. And a little sister?"

"We are both Bigelow's little sisters. He's old."

Carly-Jayne laughed.

"Wait. Is uncle Achilles my brother, too?" She asked excitedly.

"I am afraid I am just your uncle, boo," Achilles said.

As they headed up the stairs, Carly-Jayne wanted reassurance.

"Papa's coming home, right, Boy?"

"Yes. I promise," she said.

Jagadamba was behind them and overheard.

Carly-Jayne wanted to be put down.

Jagadamba grabbed her by the arm and said, "You shouldn't have promised her that."

"Since when did I start having more faith than you?"

An hour passed. It took Jagadamba that long to get the three of them ready.

She did Boyardee's hair and makeup first so she in turn could get Carly-Jayne ready. Thus leaving Enid and Jagadamba alone.

The actress had a white satin gown with the back out that happened to be Enid's size.

However, she advised her not to put it on just yet.

"It will get dirty out of spite," she warned.

Jagadamba had put it up into a messy bun with little tendrils of hair kissing the sides of her face.

She outlined her eyes in purple and gold to highlight their blue-green hues.

"Your skin is flawless," she commented putting on a light layer of foundation before topping her full dark pink lips rose gloss.

She began to do her own makeup when Enid asked, "What's the real reason you're doing this for us?"

"Told you. I need the distraction and I think you do, too."

"I am grateful. But, it seems a little frivolous. Tacky, even. Maybe I should call the whole thing off," Enid was starting to panic.

Jagadamba stomped her foot and said, "No. You are doing this. You have to."

"Why is so important to you?"

"It just is. Big and you deserve to be happy."

Then Jagadamba thought while she feeling a little envious,

I bet Bigelow wouldn't leave you while you slept or trap you in a closet. Or fuck your aunt.

"Why is he so goddamed selfish and stupid? I am so angry with him!" Jagadamba threw a bottle of perfume against the wall.

Enid got up and wrapped her arms around her.

"Carl is fine. It's going to be okay. You'll see."

"E, I need you," she said pitifully.

"I need you, too. Blood sisters, remember?"

"Blood sisters. I got it. And as your sister, you have to get married. So, put on your big girl pants or dress as it were and let's do this thing. I am seven months older than you. You have to do as I say."

Enid laughed and they finished getting ready.


	4. Chapter 4- I Know What is Like to be You

**Elliott- Post Op**

Elliott spent most of the day thinking about Daryl.

The quiet, terse timbre of his voice.

The sweetness and pain that lived in his eyes that he tried to conceal with badassery and solitude.

She liked the thickness of him. How he towered over her. How feminine she felt around him and how he didn't give a shit she was assigned male at birth.

They continued to tell each other things that they couldn't tell other people.

Somehow, during that she ended up in front of him with his arms around her.

She was caught up in the smell of him; which was believe it or not was soap and his own musky scent.

They talked until they went to sleep.

Before she left his house, they kissed. It wasn't one of those soap opera, teenaged slobber fest. It was so sweet that it almost borderlined on chaste.

They smiled at each other and held hands as they swayed.

Elliott kissed Daryl's cheek then opened the door to leave. He watched her go to Rick and Michonne's house.

During that day, she reveled. She went about her day with a pep in her step.

_Somebody actually likes me for me. Take that, momma, I am not doomed after all, _Elliott thought almost galloping from his house.

Skip to now, Elliott had been skimming through a pile of People Magazines from the nineties when she sensed a commotion across the way. She was desperate for a distraction.

She looked out her window and saw people congregating across the street at Achilles' house.

Able to suss out a party like a greyhound, Elliott quickly made herself up. Made a half gallon of fruit punch Kool-Aid, threw in some anonymous bottle of cabernet sauvignon and a splash- and by splash one means a pint and a half of vodka to make an inspired if not ghetto sangria.

"Damn. I wish I had some grapes or strawberries or something to put in this. Oh, well," she lamented before leaving.

She knocked on the door for about two minutes before someone heard her.

It was Tobin. He was good friends with Achilles and was there to support his young friend.

He was clad in an apron and brandishing tongs and said, "Hey, pretty lady. You're Ellie, right?" He asked with a smile.

"It's Elliott. I don't do nicknames."

"Well, I do. Call me Toby. Come on back," he said motioning.

She followed and was immediately confused by what she saw and felt.

The mood was half celebratory, half funerary. The emotional pendulum kept swinging between congratulations to abject fear. She knew because she felt the same.

"Why the party?"

"Enid and Bigelow decided to get married. And J.B. insisted on an impromptu celebration. To raise spirits. But, between you and me- I think this little shindig is really for her and her brother. Being that they have the most to lose if Rick and the gang don't return. I have Carol or thought I did but she's gone, too. You're Michonne's friend, right?" He asked shaking off his own sadness.

"And Daryl's," she added.

"He tries to hide it but he's a good sort."

"The best. Now who is Enid and Bigelow again?"

Tobin pointed to them.

Enid was sitting in Bigelow's lap with her arms around his neck and her head on his shoulder. His arms were around her waist and the way he was looking at her was something else.

Elliott had a poetic mind and couldn't help but wonder if Adam looked at Eve that way after he lost the rib. Like there was no one else in the world existed but them.

Most everyone there hated them a little even those who had no one out there to lose.

Unlike those mentioned, Elliott was not so much jealous as she wished she could go back in time to that morning and be with Daryl.

She and Tobin chatted a little bit longer before Elliott asked where she put her alcoholic concoction.

He pointed to the table where Achilles sat looking like he ranting and raving even though he was sitting there silently and perfectly still doctoring a cup of something.

He turned and acknowledged her presence by nodding. She nodded back.

She then forced a smile then said, "You look like you needs some alcohol."

Achilles held his cup out.

"Thanks," he said barely holding it together.

"More than welcome, dear," she clasped his hand.

He appreciated the affection and clasped it back.

They remained like that for a while when Carly-Jayne all sweaty and gleeful from dancing, grabbed his free hand and demanded, "Dance with me, uncle."

Achilles got up without saying a word.

She watched them dance. How he managed to smile and joke with his niece despite his own feelings.

He put her wellbeing before his own.

Elliott admired this. It brought tears to her eyes.

_He is just like Nimrod, _ she thought.

She had known him. She and Michonne had been best friends since age eight.

Nimrod had been her first crush and the first person she admitted she was transsexual to.

Achilles did look like Nimrod. He just did.

Then her mind went to Michonne.

_Baby girl, you got to come back. I don't want to lose you again. You are the only one who loved me from before. Micki-_

This she said aloud, "Come home."

Elliott sat alone adrift in her own thoughts for several minutes before noticing Jagadamba was not outside.

In remembrance of her friend, she went to check on the girl.

She asked some random where she was.

They pointed to the house.

First thing, she noticed when she entered was that she was listening to different music than what was playing outside.

It was Who Wants to Live Forever by Queen.

She looked down and saw Jagadamba sitting on the floor holding a bloody towel around her left hand. She was rocking back and forward. Trying her hardest not to cry.

Elliott knelt beside her and asked, "Let me see."

She showed her with a pout.

The tip of her ring finger was gone.

"It hurts. And I don't know where it went. Like it matters. No one here is skilled enough to reattach it. It won't quit bleeding."

"You're in luck-"

"I don't believe in luck. Luck is of the devil. L-u-c. I mean its right there."

"You talk too much. If you had allowed to me finish, I would have said I am a trained medic and was a med student."

Jagadamba's mouth flew open.

"My aunt said you were hairdresser."

"I told her to say that. Its just a lie I tell. People make too many demands of you if they know you are a medical professional."

"Let's get it cleaned up.

She ran Jagadamba into the infirmary. She cleaned the wound with saline then stitched it.

She asked her how she hurt herself.

"Damn, girl. You got to keep you away from sharp objects. What happened to other hand?"

"Me and the bride became blood sisters earlier. Apparently, she is in platonic love with me."

"Isn't she pregnant by your husband, too?"

"Yep. She took his cherry literally the day before I arrived. You know doing the math, he got us both pregnant the same day."

Elliot let out a quick snort and said, "Remind to not sit behind your hubbie. That boy is fertile."

Jagadamba replied, "I know, right?"

"How did you cut the tip off?"

"I was cutting the silver skin off these beef spare ribs. Then that song came on. For starters, Queen is my mother's favorite band. So, that made me sad. I then thought about all the things my husband and I will probably never get to do together. Like watch my belly grow. Be with me when my water breaks. Hold our babies. Teach C.J. how to tie her shoes. How to write and read.

See, I originally had been saving them for my first month anniversary. The ribs. Since that doesn't seem very likely. I didn't want them to go, to go to waste," she held back tears.

Elliott kissed her forehead.

"Come on. Let's get you back to the party. Good thing you got on red. Did you bleed on the meat?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

"We'll just rinse it off. And put it back in the freezer. You save those ribs for your anniversary."

Jagadamba agreed.

On their way back, she asked Elliott about Daryl.

"We're really good friends."

"I only thought Rick and Carol were his friends. I heard you did a walk of shame. So, tell me. Is he a Skipper, Barbie or Ken?"

"I got to give you guys credit. You are a horny bunch."

"Well?"

"It didn't go that far. We talked all night. Fell asleep doing so. But, it was intimate. Don't got to be naked to be intimate."

"True. But, I don't believe you."

"Oh, well. How's your pain?"

"A distraction."

"Sometimes. Like, when I was going through my transition, especially when I got my Adam's Apple shaved; it helped me deal with my mother total rejection of me. You know that crazy bitch cursed her womb for having me? I was like I want to be like you, mommy. She just hated me. Made my sister hate me, too."

"I am sorry. You didn't deserve that. No one does."

"I know. But, it still turned okay. My dad supported me. He said he always knew and that he admired my bravery to be my true self. And I had Michonne. She is my real sister. True blue. You know how your auntie is."

"Yeah, I know exactly how she is," she could help but have a certain amount of bile for her aunt.

_Just yet another bitch in my family who betrayed me_, she thought.

Elliott heard her tone and read her micro expression of aggression under the bright amber colored street lights.

_I think Miss Thang knows, _Elliott covering her mouth.

Jagadamba asked, "I have a personal question. If you don't mind my asking."

"Let me guess. About my being trans?"

"Yes."

"Shoot."

"How do you keep it up? I never would have guessed you used to be a bloke. You are so soft and feminine looking. You are gorgeous. And that is not a word I throw around needlessly. And your voice, you don't sound a dude trying to be a chick. Or a weird lisp. You don't seem gay."

"Thank you. And know that last thing you said is the same thing as me saying to you don't act like you're black or you are so well spoken. Or me asking you is that your hair because I assume since you are a little brown that all that glorious hair couldn't possibly be yours."

"I get it. I didn't mean to offend. I am sorry," she said pleading. She didn't want to run off the one person who genuinely cared about her welfare at the moment.

"You didn't. I am just busting your chops.

See, I went through my sex reassignment surgery about eighteen months before the world did its silly shit. And after you have the surgery there is no real need to keep taking estrogen anymore because they took my testes and kept the skin and turned them into pretty little pussy lips.

Before I went to the surgeon and described to him what I wanted, I convinced Michonne to let examine hers and take a couple pics. She has the prettiest little meow-meow. It looks like a flower. I usually don't offer but if you ever want to see it. I will show it to you. I like getting another woman's opinion."

"I am cool."

To be fair, Jagadamba quit actively listening when she heard her praise her aunt's nether region.

_Oh, my God! Is that what Carl thought when he saw it? It has to look better than mine. She hasn't had two babies or as far as I know she hasn't been sexually assaulted. She doesn't have my scars. I bet she looks way better than me naked. If I was him. I would choose her Crypt Keeper _ass_ over me, too,_ Jagadamba thought before collapsing on the sidewalk in a barrage of tears and bad thoughts.

Elliott knew why she was crying. She said what she said to ascertain if she suspected.

_Yeah, she knows, _she thought.

Elliott knelt to comfort her.

"Get off me," Jagadamba said.

Like she had suspected all along, "He doesn't love me the way I love him. He had almost had me convinced he did. No, I was convinced. I woke up so happy with him this morning. I thought he was happy, too."

"I remember what you said about him earlier. And I have watched him with you. He loves you. You're all he talked about a couple days ago on the trip back here. He listed all the reasons you are important to him."

"Then where is he? Why did he leave me without so much as a goodbye? I will tell you why. Michonne. It's all about her. I hate her."

_Uh-oh. In case, Micki comes back. I gotta gaslight this little bitch. Can't have her doing something irrational like setting a bitch on fire. I have heard the stories, _Elliottthought.

Elliott had happened to be in South Carolina when she was roaring and rampaging her way into Virginia. And frankly, the Pharoahs had been known to set their enemies on fire.

She knew enough about Jagadamba and her background to know she had a bit of an ego. And the best way to assuage her would be to appeal to it.

"He went to go find her for you. He told me so himself. He knows you have been through so much already. He couldn't bear to see you lose someone else. He knows how much your aunt means to you. Let face it, other than your mother, brother, she is the last tangible, blood connection you have to your bio dad and your adopted one. Your previous life."

"That's true. He said that?"

"Doesn't it sound like him?"

"It does. He gets deep on my ass all the time lately. So, you don't think they are lovers?"

"Hell, no. I think it is just your mind coming up with another distraction. You want to turn them into villains so in case they don't come back, it won't hurt as bad because filthy traitors deserve death. A loving husband and doting aunt do not."

_Oh, my God, she's right. They wouldn't do that to me. Or that asshole Rick. Priyanka hurt me so deeply, I began to see betrayal everywhere, _She repeated the last sentence aloud.

"Baby, that is a perfectly logical reaction."

"It am?" She joked attempting to lighten the mood.

Elliott laughed, "It am."

She helped her off the sidewalk.

Elliott walked back with her feeling a small measure of victory because she protected her friend.

Jagadamba believed her so readily because she needed to for her own sanity. She wasn't prepared to give up on them just yet.

They returned to Achilles' house. To the kitchen in particular. The ribs were gone.

"Figures," Jagadamba said aloud.

She stuck her head out the door and was gladdened and saddened by what she saw.

Bigelow and Enid were slow dancing. Enid was crying.

"I never got to do that with him. Our wedding was a secret. I realize now what a monumentally stupid mistake that was. Love is supposed to be celebrated.

I am tired now. Let's go to my place."

Moments later, Elliott followed her up to her bedroom. She helped Jagadamba undress down to her skivvies and get in bed.

"Daaamn, girl. You got a waist like a whisper and an ass like a planet. You have a nice figure," Elliott complimented.

"Thank you. I work hard on it. I appreciate the power beauty wields. I was raised to. I hate to admit it but sometimes, its feels like the only weapon I have. If I lose these. Then what? That's where a lot of my fear comes from about my husband. I may lose my figure having them. There isn't plastic surgery readily available anymore. My grandma was a plastic surgeon. I will be stuck this way. Disfigured by stretch marks and loose skin.

If decides he doesn't want me. What then?"

"Girl, if he that shallow, fuck him. I mean seriously. He got one eye and he is short. And kinda scrawny. He better be glad he gets any pussy."

"I am surprised at you. You have been on both sides. You've been a man and a woman. You know the politics better than I do.

He is not only the son of the guy in charge but he has a pretty face despite everything. He looks better naked than you think he would. He got two chicks pregnant which makes him look like a stud in some peoples' eyes and not used goods like it will me and Enid if she isn't careful or something horrible happens to Bigelow. Lord forbid. And he has a huge cock and has no qualms eating pussy. I think he enjoys it. And lets not forget bitches that hate me who are willing to offer him ass just to get at me. So, he has the total advantage over me. Total. That's apart of the burden of being a wife. The world is set up to make us feel like we are disposable. That men are the commodity. Not us. I call bullshit but the truth is the truth. And my fear. I think I fear being replaced more than I do him dying. And I am suicidally and homicidally afraid of that. If that gives you any idea. What's yours?"

Elliott looked down and said very quietly, "That I only got to spend one night with my true love and I am never going to see him again."

Instead of apologizing like a dope, she embraced Elliott.

Elliott was barely taller than her.

"You feel good," Elliott said whinier than she meant to.

"So, do you," Jagadamba said feeling a vibe. Elliott felt it, too.

They pulled back and looked at each other.

They both thought at the same time, _As far as distractions go. This will do._

They kissed.

Both Elliott and Jagadamba had a fluid sexuality. Elliott's hands were allover the pregnant teen.

The girl concentrated on her ass and slowly lifting up her skirt of her skin tight bandage dress.

Jagadamba pulled away and instructed, "Lock the door. I want to see it."

Elliott smiled widely as she obeyed.

She pulled her dress over her head revealing large, full c cup breasts with tiny apricot colored nipples erect with excitement. She had on blue lace boy shorts that did something just short of miraculous for her tight pert ass.

Jagadamba walked over to her and kissed her again, letting her long, curly blonde fly loose. In the mist of trying to be sexy. Hair pin got stuck.

"Damnit, I was on a roll, too," she lamented.

Elliott laughed and took the pin out herself.

She shook her long buttery yellow hair out.

Jagadamba grabbed a hold of it with both hands and said, "You are a sight to see. You're breathtaking."

"Pot calling the kettle," she before kissing her for the umpteenth time.

The girl walked them over her bed. She playfully pushed her down as she followed her. Elliott reached up and unhooked her bra.

She motorboated Jagadamba who in turn laughed her head off.

"Be careful. They are super sore and I am sill lactating."

Elliott acknowledge this with a nod.

Soon, Jagadamba had her mouth on her nipples and teasingly had her hand below her belly button and above her panty line circles on her stomach.

Elliott liked being teased. But, when it came to her partner, she liked going for it.

She put her hand inside her panties and found her.

Jagadamba purred and hissed at and lied back while Elliott worked her clit.

Ten minutes passed and Elliott said, "I want these off."

Jagadamba obeyed. She got them half down and the Beth look-a-like finished pulling them off.

She got in between her legs and continued masturbating her.

She came silently as her body seized. Elliott lied on her back and lifted her ass off the bed to pull down her panties. Jagadamba stopped her.

"I wanna do it," she said before pulling at one side then rolling down and throwing them somewhere.

When Jagadamba initially saw her downy tufts of curly hair down there she thought, _It's so life like._

She then leapt up like a frog and straddled the bottom of Elliott's legs to get a better look at it.

Elliott was a little nervous. She always afraid her lover would see her as artificial. Something to ridicule, a monster they had carte blanche to do violence towards.

"Well. What do you think?" She said clearly aroused.

"Looks like a vagina."

"Cause it is a vagina."

Jagadamba then took her thumb and rubbed her clit directly, slow at first then quickening her pace.

Elliott began to moan.

"Ooh. Feels so good," Elliott moaned feeling close to orgasm. She always came easily.

Sensing this, Jagadamba stilled her fingers and said sultrily, "It feels like one. It smells like one. All sweet and musty. I wonder if it tastes like one?"

Jagadamba went to the foot of the bed to be on her knees. Usually she would have lied on her stomach but being pregnant put the kabash on that.

She grabbed Elliott's legs and drug her down.

Soon, she sucked on the inside of her thighs before taking her right hand and spreading her majora and revealing her hard little button aching for attention.

_No way this used to be a dick,_ she thought.

Elliott could feel her hot, moist breath on the tip of her little lady. Expecting the textured, wet roughness of an eager tongue, she closed her eyes and put her hand on top of her head.

As she got ready to enjoy the ride, she saw her paramour's head rise up.

Jagadamba asked, "It's not an exact replica of my aunt's cooch, is it?"

"No. But, yours is."

Jagadamba smiled at this then went to town.

Ten minutes in, Elliott breathlessly said, "Oh, shit. Oh, Oh, Oh. Do that again. No, the other way. Yeah, yeah, almost got it. Almost got it. Apply more pressure. Suck harder, harder. Too hard. Awww. Ooh, ooh. That's it. That's the shit. I am about to come."

Elliott was almost forcibly holding her head in place while she teared her head back.

Jagadamba was annoyed with all the instruction but was happy to be of service.

She enjoyed doing this to women.

Even though, she had Jagadamba's tongue right where she needed it to be, still couldn't fully get there.

She took a deep breath and thought about Daryl and imagined it was his tongue and lips about to make a nut rip through her. It happened a minute later.

Elliott was loud but so was the music therefore no one heard her.

When she released her, Jagadamba sat up and said wiping her mouth, "Tastes just like one, too."

Elliott was pleased.

"Long, live the queen. Girl, you got a gift," she laughed before sitting up.

Jagadamba got up off her knees on a groan.

"I am getting old," she said.

"Girl, please. You ain't nowhere near old. You nothing but gristle like my dear old daddy used to say."

"Tell that to my aching bones. What I just did to you is hard work," Jagadamba flirted.

"You make it look easy."

"Today has been a shit day even though it didn't start out that way," Jagadamba said.

"You telling me. I didn't imagine this happening when I saw you at breakfast earlier."

"Nope. I wasn't even sure I liked you," she said.

"Me neither. But, you are a bit of all right," Elliott said touching her stomach.

"So are you."

Elliott began to kiss and finger her again before going down on her best friend's niece.

As soon as she made the caramel colored beauty finish, she put her stomach against her stomach. Aligned her bloomed oyster with wilted sensitive one. They were soon tribbing.

Elliott felt her become aroused again which in turn turned her in even more.

She pumped and rubbed as hard as she could.

She came before Jagadamba did. Elliott slowed her hips to a snail's pace.

"I can't remember the last time I came that good."

"Well. Came that well," she corrected.

Which made the girl point to get mouth and then her crotch.

Elliott took the hint and went down on her again.

Three minutes later she was singing her praises.

After servicing her, Elliott slid up and lied on her back and motioned for her to put her head on her chest. She wanted to hold her. And Jagadamba wanted to be held.

Soon, the girl was asleep. Content she had an affair. She figured if Carl and Michonne were fucking, this made them even. If not, at least she had the private knowledge that she had cheated on him first. She figured if Carl and Michonne felt as strongly about each other as she suspected they did; she knew sex between them was just a matter of time.

On the other hand, Elliott was wide awake.

Her mind drifted back to Daryl.

They were on his couch.

They had just finished three bottles of beer apiece when Daryl said, "I know what it's like to be like you."

"Sexy with a give'em hell attitude?"

He blushed, "No. Well, maybe but no."

She grabbed his hand and said, "What then?"

"To not be who are supposed to be. I should start with my brother Merle."

"Okay. Merle? I am sorry but that's an awful name. Why didn't your folks name him go straight to jail?"

Daryl laughed, "Well. He did. A lot. He was sixteen years older than me. So when he was around was super protective of me. I admired my big brother. I loved him so much. Everywhere he went, I went. Our mom bailed or that's the lie we all agreed on. We all knew dad had probably finally killed her or left her somewhere to die."

"I am sorry. So, your father was an abusive bastard to say the least."

Daryl took a deep breath and said, "Every horrible thing a person could do or be. My father committed himself to it."

Trying to lighten the mood and relate, Elliot responded, "Sounds like my mother."

Daryl's face grew hard and he said, "Did your mom ever molest you?"

"No. My God. Daryl," she squeezed his hand tighter.

Daryl with tears streaming silently down his face, "You see it began when I was eight. He called himself setting me straight. I knew at three years old I wasn't in the right body. That's my first memory. I knew I wanted to be a boy. No, I knew I was a boy."

A lightbulb went off in Elliott's head.

"Wait. You're a transmen?"

Daryl nodded then continued to speak, "I told my brother about my desire to be the real me and he loved me anyway. Begged me not tell anyone else. Said they wouldn't understand like he did. He then confessed to me he was gay. He hid it with a wall of sexism and racism and being altogether unpleasant but I knew the truth of him.

I used to worship my father even when he hurt me. I figured I deserved it because I felt like I was wrong. A girl who wanted to be a boy.

Then I hit puberty when I was eleven. I was pretty. Blonde. Got this stupid beauty mark. Had a nice figure. But, I hated my body. When I got my first period was one of the worst days of my life.

I felt betrayed by my body. You think I would have been used to betrayal."

"I know all the words to that song. The first time I woke up with a hard on, I felt suicidal. I didn't want that thing between my legs."

"The abuse escalated. He called me his little woman," at this point, Daryl began to boohoo.

Elliott let go of his hand and hugged him. He cried into her shoulder.

Daryl continued, "I was thirteen. And I was getting ready for school one morning. He came in on me as I was getting out the shower.

I tried to fight him. I was tall for a girl. I was five feet, ten inches tall and weighed one hundred and forty. I was naturally muscular. I figured I could fight him. If he had been anyone else I would have decimated him. I was always known as a brawler. I couldn't. So, he did it.

He raped me."

Elliott began to cry for him just as she was right now.

In the middle of this thought, Jagadamba stirred.

She slowly opened her dark brown eyes and asked groggily, "I just dreamed about him. We were six. He was so cute. He always had the most beautiful eyes. We were playing coyote and roadrunner. He liked taking turns but I usually was the coyote. I am always chasing after him.

Anyway, you're crying. You're thinking of your fella," she said.

Elliott nodded.

"What is it about him?" Jagadamba asked.

"He's like me. I knew when I laid eyes on him he was someone I wanted in my life. Then we spoke. He told me I reminded him of someone named Beth. Rick told me the same thing. And Michonne and Carl. Did you know her?"

"Ahead of my time. I just know she was Maggie's sister. And she was blonde and a teenager and sweet. She could sing. And was the first girl my husband ever went down on."

Giggling and wiping away tears, Elliott said, "Wow. Sounds like everyone had a reason to love her. At least she was hot."

"Sometimes, that is all one can hope for," Jagadamba said smiling and petting Elliott's pubes.

"I get turned on super easily," Elliott confessed.

"I don't. I fake it a third of the time. I am not even sure I like dick. Carl is literally the only man I have ever been sexually attracted to. I think I might be a lesbian. Then I think about his perfect, pink penis and I am not so sure. He makes me feel good. Something no other man has ever done. I like when he's inside me," she laughed mirthlessly.

"I like being with girls more than dudes cause girls usually care if you have a good time or not more than guys do. But, I go both ways. All ways. But, you are in my top three," she said gently pulling at her lady in in the canoe.

Jagadamba hissed and hunched against her hand.

"Why am I in your top three?" She moaned.

"You know your way around a clit. And you are just a strawberry, caramel, chocolate chip piece of cheesecake of a human being. And you are my first A- list celebrity.

However, I do like dick from time to time. When they know what to do, oh, only thing better is that sweet kitty cat of yours. I know you are married but we should make this habit. We both know how to give the other one pleasure. And that's hard to, uh, come by," she said intentionally moving in such a way that the seventeen year old succumbed to her twenty-nine year old fingers for the umpteenth time.

Kissing her when was done, Jagadamba said, "As nice as the past couple hours have been, I want to leave tonight at that. Let it just be a stray good memory. There's a good chance, tomorrow might be the second worst day of my life. And I have had some doozies."

"I believe most of them are coming back. In the meantime and in consideration of your aching bones, I would really like to sit on your face."

"So thoughtful," Jagadamba said facetiously getting into position.

After a couple more hours of sex and talking and crying, Elliott offered to go home saying, "Last thing I want is to interfere with your relationship by us getting caught in bed."

"No. Stay. I am sure he has captured them by now. And if they are still alive- he's keeping them up and in submission on their knees all night. We won't see them til midmorning at the earliest."

Elliott looked at her in full appreciation of the fact she was more than a pretty face.

But, she had to know, "How could you possibly know that?"

"That's what I saw my ex husband do. Hell, I have done it."

Elliott looked at Jagadamba like she was a new creature

"My you, you are a dangerous woman," She said.

Jagadamba looked at her darkly as if to agree then laid her head on Elliott's chest.


	5. Chapter 5- If Ever The Day Comes

Carl and Michonne- If Ever The Day Comes

Meanwhile, several hours later, it was morning.

Rick just convinced Maggie to let him drive her to the Hilltop. She had been bound and determined to walk there. That was her anger and pain in full display.

They carefully packed Abraham and Glenn side by side in the back. Both Carl and Aaron donated their over shirts to collect whatever blood and gore that still remained.

Sasha for in the back and adhered to Abraham's still legs while Maggie chose a colder course. She couldn't bear to look at her decapitated husband. Her only thoughts were on keeping that baby secure in her womb. If that baby died- she had every, _every _reason to go right behind it.

What ensued next was the longest ten minutes of any if their lives. Especially Rick, Michonne and Carl. The trio had not been in one place since the elder Miss Anthony's confession.

Michonne sat beside Rick in the back as Eugene drove. Carl was directly behind them with his arm around Maggie to keep her calm. As he spoke to comfort her, the sound of his voice grated Rick. Father and son said a few words to each during the past twenty-four hours.

Rick admitted to himself that he felt more betrayed by his son than he did his girlfriend. He thought he loved him too much to hurt him like that. But, he failed to realize was it was not about him. Not really.

Soon, they were at the Hilltop. Rick got started on the graves along side Aaron, Rosita, Tomeka and Sasha while Carl and Michonne went with Maggie. She insisted. Needless to say, Rick hated the idea of the two of being alone.

Being that close to one another was not easy for either of them either. Carl couldn't quit staring at her. He was trying hard to read her vibe.

Michonne on the other hand, avoided looking at him and put all her focus on Maggie and Dr. Carson.

Maggie felt the tension. But, she had her own problems and wasn't about to address it.

Feeling like they were hovering, Dr. Carson put them out.

Michonne and Carl were out there in the hall when he said, "I got something to say."

"Not now."

Carl stomped his foot and said, "Yes now. There is something you need to know. Let's go talk there. I don't want anyone else to hear."

He pointed to a closet.

She sighed and walked ahead of him to the closet.

Once they were both inside. He turned on the light and closed the door.

He stood in front of her silently at first.

Quickly losing patience, she huffed, "Carl, this has already been one of the worst days ever. I just saw two of us slaughtered. I am not in the mood for-"

He grabbed her by the shoulders and kissed her. She kissed him back.

Then she apart from him and slapped him.

He laughed and said, "You Anthonys are such violent women."

"Only when you piss us off.

He put his hands on her shoulders.

"I love you with all my everything. Like down to my soul."

"Carl, we have been over this!"

"Shut up and hear me out. You're the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last before I go to bed. And that's not right.

I am a married man. I have no right to feel this way about you. I realized earlier that I basically left my family to come look for you. You're the only reason I left. So you get that?"

She made a face of disbelief but she knew.

He continued, "There's no doubt in my mind my wife and my ex are at home right now scared to death. Probably mourning because they are thinking the worst. And its my fault.

I know for a fact that Jag loves me the way I love you. I have been treating our marriage like she's a distraction instead of the main attraction. She has my babies in her belly and this is the best I can do? Pine for someone else? She feels it. I know she does. She actually said to me she knew I didn't love her as much as she does me. In so many words. That is so unfair. Of me. She deserves better than that. I owe myself more than that.

"I told you that," Michonne said.

"Just hear me out. When I saw Glenn lose his life, it hit me like a ton of bricks. That could have been me. I watched him lose everything. And what he said to Maggie. I mean I could see his brain and she was literally the last thing on his mind.

He is never going to see his kid be born or be with his wife again. I still have that opportunity. It would be like making fun of him if didn't take advantage of this gift of time I have been given. It made me feel like shit. I need to love my wife better.

And I made a promise to Abraham that I wouldn't mistreat her. I made that promise this time yesterday. I have to do that. He was her godfather.

I mean, I almost lost my arm going after someone-you who simply doesn't feel for me what I feel for you. I am tired of being wrong. I am tired of being unhappy and dissatisfied."

They were both in tears.

"I said from day one I wanted you to be good to her. That whatever we feel for each other doesn't matter. Now your Dad knows about us. I never wanted that to happen."

"You think I did?"

"Yes. Yes, I do. You want to hurt him whether you will ever admit it or not. And used me to do that."

"I didn't use you. How the fuck can you say that to me? You say that like I held you at gunpoint or something. I didn't make you."

"I am not saying that. We had consensual sex. Granted, up against the tree, you just went for it."

"God! The two of you are related. She tried to make the same argument. I didn't take advantage of you. If you want to get technical- I am seventeen. Sixteen when we made love. Like you said you would be seen as the shitty one. Not me."

"You are telling me all this shit because of why? Who are you trying to convince?"

"Me. I trying to convince me. I got to choose a better way. A less painful way. And besides, I always told you everything. Why should I stop now?"

This softened Michonne to a point.

He finished, "With that said, if ever the day comes and the both of us happen to be single- all bets are off. I am coming for you. I will always, always want you. I will always love you. That's a matter of fact like the sky being blue. And water is wet."

He then left out feeling a little taller.

Michonne felt wanted and was a little embarrassed it. She wanted that day to come.


	6. Chapter 6- The Goblin King

Priyanka was blindfolded and loaded into Negan's personal car, a red and gold Cadillac with matching interior.

Negan insisted on driving myself for the first time in ages. He wanted to be with Priyanka alone.

Priyanka sat silently. Her arms ached for her baby. Both her babies.

All she saw were their sweet faces. A trait they inherited from her.

"I want my son," she said breaking the silence.

Negan was beside her all smiles feeling every bit like the conquering hero.

"How old do you think our kid would have been?" He asked a matter of factly as if he hasn't just threatened her life and that of her son in law.

Even through the blindfold he could see her rolling her light sea foam eyes at him and she scoffed.

"Don't be like that, sugar walls. God, I was thinking about you the other day. Never in a million years would I imagine you would fall in line with those assholes."

"Don't call me anything other my Christian name."

"I called them assholes. Not you. Plus, you don't exactly have a Christian name."

"Sugar walls. You say so much bull shit, I bet is difficult for you to keep it all together."

"Can he even hear? Your son. I thought the men in your family were a bunch of deafmutes?" He knew how to antagonize her.

"My son can hear. Praise God. Only half of them go deaf or are born that way, insensitive one.

My daughter had a deaf son. His father murdered him. Threatened to raise her daughter by hand if you catch my drift."

"That's horrible. I am sorry, babe. No wonder she burnt that place down to the ground," he caressed her cheek. His empathy was real.

She flinched.

"You just destroyed two of my friends with those hands. You think I want them touching me?" Priyanka asked pulling away.

"Oh, honey. You and I both know you don't give a hot, nutty shit about those two dudes. Not really," he played with her hair just to aggravate her.

"I just want to know when did you change? The man I knew. My Nick. Never would have done that. He wouldn't have had the stomach or the inclination or the heart to do what you did. And clearly you have had some practice of it because you don't have a drop of blood or skull or brain on you. You make me sick."

Negan snorted and said, "You think because we are alone that you can speak to me anyway you like. But, that shit spills over. If one of you does it, pretty soon it becomes infectious. Everybody thinks they got the right to speak their mind. So, I am going to ask you kindly and based on our history to watch yourself when you speak to me. One perceived sign of weakness- all I have worked so fucking hard for will turn to shit faster than an episode of Grey's Anatomy." He knew she loved that show. They used to watch it together.

_Arsehole_, she thought.

She said in a loud voice, "You threatened a twelve year old girl and a seventeen year old boy. Not to mention your whole ridiculous bravado. You're a tyrant. A regular Tumbledown Dick. It's already over. You are just too drunk off yourself to see it. And I am not one of those starving, drooling masses of sycophants that just met you. I will talk to you any bloody way I please, Nicodemus."

Negan laughed. He liked it when people he didn't consider a threat stood up to him.

"What do you suppose your daughter will do once she finds out I have you. Hmm?"

"Nothing. The Pharaohs no longer exists. We abdicated that power to Rick Grimes. He is our leader," she knew that would get his goat.

Negan clicked his tongue.

"Then why didn't he know about Richmond? Why did you set yourself and Janie's Got a Gun as well as Rick's spawn apart from the rest if you didn't see yourself as different? The Pharaohs exists.

So, what will she do? Raise an army? Storm the castle so to speak. I have heard the stories the Pharaohs and their teenaged dream queen. Burning and killing y'alls way through the southern U.S. of A. Any building not yet on fire in the is simply a building the Pharaohs have not yet set on fire. Does Rick have any idea what family his son has married into?"

Priyanka looked alarmed at the mention.

"What do you know about Richmond? Why do you think Carl is my son in law?"

"You are calculating and you look out for number one which happens to be your daughter. So, what better way to ensure her and your safety than to pimp your daughter out to the son of the leader? Them being in love will guarantee shelter. Plus, her initials were on his neck. J.B.C.A. Jagadamba Boudica Chowdhury- Anthony," in an agonizingly sing-songy tone, the true villain of this piece teased, "She doesn't know her real name is Alice Richter, does she? You still haven't told her who she is. Mommy and stepdaddy must still be alive.

Mmm. You have always been a bit of a coward when it came to them."

Priyanka became incensed, "Me, a coward? You didn't give a fuck about your crazy wife. You used her dying as an excuse to abandon me and your baby. I had quit being fun. I had became real to you and you couldn't cope. And you were too much of a chicken shit to leave your life behind and come with me to Surrey. I was willing to share my inheritance with you. We would have been rich and happy. Lord Forbid."

"I never wanted your money. I made that fucking abundantly clear. I would spend my savings on you."

"So. I was sixteen when we started. You should have been delighted to have me. You knew a grown woman couldn't put up with your shit. You knew I loved you since I met you when I was eleven. You were the only friend I had until Nimrod.

And yes, arsehole, I told her. Now what about Richmond?"

"It is mine. My men conquered it two weeks ago. Eighty souls give it take?"

"What have you done to them?"

"Nothing. Five of them were put down. We took half their shit. Going to see it for myself in a week or two. My empire for lack of a better word is growing. I would really like for you to be apart of that. What you said about me wasn't entirely untrue. I could have done better by you. I would have ran my ass off the road, too. Be by my side. Let me make that up to you. Be my bride."

Sounding rather serious, she said, "Kindly remove my blindfold."

He reached over and untied it. She could done it herself but she wasn't sure how he would respond to that. She needed to make this next statement.

She looked him right in the eye and laughed, "Sounds like you are proposing to me. Are you high? You just fucking kidnapped me. You are actively keeping me away from my newborn. Have taken me away from my eldest and my grandchildren. My people hostage. I am thirsty and I am starving. And blindfolded mine you. And you offer me cock? That's what a proposal boils down to. Like I told my daughter, I can get dicked when I can't get a sip of water. You have just proven that. Thanks," she continued laughing. She was truly tickled.

Negan stopped his car and honked his horn three times.

Priyanka knew this wasn't good.

Soon she the passenger side door open. She remained calm.

"You were always a stuck up little bitch. You need to learn a lesson. Put her with the white trash," Negan said with hurt feelings.

Arat said snidely, "Don't you mean other white trash?"

Negan took up for her saying, "Ignore the blonde hair and green eyes. Her name is Priyanka. That sound white to you? She is half of whatever the fuck you are."

"She is a half-breed. She is a white girl with a good tan and great hair."

"Just take her away."

They led her to the back of the caravan where they tied her hands behind her back.

Arat, a jealous and murderous cunt of the lowest order growled in Priyanka's ear, "You have a beautiful little son. Such a good baby. I thought he was a girl until I changed his diaper. It would be a shame if something happened to him."

Priyanka reared her head back as hard as she could right into her nose. She broke it. She also stomped her foot. She had on steel heeled boots.

"Bitch, you are dead. Do you hear me? No one threatens my son," Priyanka said being dragged away.

Dwight really didn't like Arat therefore he didn't strike Priyanka.

"Aren't you going to do something?" She asked.

"No. Clearly. Negan has his sights set on her. Besides, you don't threaten babies. What the fuck's wrong with you. You are a nasty bitch. That's why nobody likes your ass," he said leading her into the van. He followed behind her and closed the door.

He told Arat to get in the car two behind him. He didn't trust her not to do something spiteful.

She saw Daryl. He was still bleeding a little from his shoulder. It was clear that he had a fever. He was trying to catch a nap.

]As Dwight walked up the front of the van to drive, Daryl snapped out of his drowsiness to watch him.

Priyanka noticed this. It was not sexual. But, they was a longing there. One she intimately recognized.

_Isn't that something? _She thought.

Dwight honked three times and the caravan started again.

Two hours passed before they stopped again. This time they were at the Sanctuary.

Daryl and Priyanka were let out and sent to the clinic where they were both checked put. Daryl was given acetaminophen and antibiotics as well as stitches and a bandage.

Other than being a little dehydrated and broke out from the stress, Priyanka was fine.

After this, their paths diverged.

Priyanka was sent to an apartment. It was two doors down from his.

Inside, Laura was is there bottle feeding Dare. Laura was usually a hard ass but babies melted her heart like butter.

She ran to him.

Laura gladly handed him over.

"He is a sweetie. Only cried once. I think he missed you. Such a pretty baby and aware. He was moving his head and eyes everywhere taking everything in. I bathed him, too. Now he has that nice new baby smell," Laura was enamored with the infant.

Priyanka was grateful to Laura. She looked and noticed a crib and other baby stuff. She was almost grateful to Negan. Almost.

"You have taken good care of him. Thank you. What's your name?"

"Laura Willibond. You?"

"Priyanka Chowdhury-Richter," She answered holding out her hand.

Laura shook it.

"I smell food. Is that butter chicken?" She asked smiling. It was a favorite and one of a few good memories she had of her mother, Jayanthi aka Jayne. Butter chicken was an Indian dish.

Her mother always said, "Every proper Indian mother teaches her Indian girl how to make makhan murg. Perfect this and no man will be able to resist you. How you think I caught your father?"

She was ten.

She used to make this for Negan all the time. He couldn't get enough of her or it.

Laura added, "Yes. He sent some people ahead to prepare things for you. You have a little refrigerator. Full of water and snacks. A closet full of little black dresses. Some lingerie in the drawers. Real jewelry in the jewelry box. You know he's courting you. Hard."

After getting a bottle of water and drinking it down, she asked out of breath, "Is that a good thing? Does he do this often?"

Laura was loyal to Negan. He had saved her life.

Despite this, she saw his harem of wives as a bad thing having been invited to join it once but she declined. It took her two years to become an enforcer while it usually took other's about six months. Usually, he would have intimidated her by threatened her kin but she had none.

So, he punished her that way even though from time to time he would still ask.

She would say no and she would lose and have to regain a privilege. He punished her.

She said nothing about this. You never knew who was listening.

She replied, "Some girls find it to be an enviable position to be in. Being one of his guarantees you get a modicum of freedom and protection. But, you can't leave. Not to mention your little fellow. He doesn't have any children. Step or otherwise. So, your son would be treated like a prince if you became one of his wives."

"Wives? As in plural? More than one? How many are we talking?" Priyanka was doing her best to keep her cool.

_This motherfucker is a polygamist? Really? I had a feeling he saw me as a whore but this beyond the pale. This is exactly what Cortez did to Alice. Oh, my God._

"Um, twelve."

"I would make a baker's dozen. How quaint."

"I would offer little resistance. You seem like you are or used to be a rich person. The other alternatives are either being an enforcer like me or one the dregs in the factory. Unless you have a skill."

"I can cook. Well, I don't cook I burn."

"That is a strong statement, miss. I will tell the right people and I will get you in the kitchen."

"Just ask Ni- Negan. He knows I can cook."

"So, the two of you go way back?"

Priyanka nodded.

"I thought so. I didn't think I heard that wrong.

Well, you enjoy yourself or try. This isn't so bad once you get used to it and learn the rules."

"What's the company line around here?"

"Obey Negan or there are real consequences."

_He was always a self important bastard, _she thought.

Laura left.

Priyanka ate a little, drank some more water, sang her baby to sleep using her real singing voice. She would sing off key in front of Jagadamba for one reason- singing was her thing and she didn't want to take that from her. In all reality, she could out sing her daughter.

As soon as Dare was asleep, Priyanka went to take a shower. It was one of only five apartments in the facility to have its own bathroom.

It was a quick one. The hot water pulled all the sleep out of her.

She hurriedly dried off and dressed. Barely able to keep her eyes open, she retrieved her son from the carrier and put him in bed with her. As soon as her head hit the pillow, she was out.

Three hours passed.

Dare began to wail.

She changed his diaper and breastfed him. As he was starting to settle, someone knocked on her door.

This made the boy cry again.

"Bloody hell. Come in," she sighed rocking her baby to soothe him.

It was Negan.

He saw she was breastfeeding and commented, "Your son has no idea that he is the luckiest man in the world."

"You are gross. I am a kitchen. Not a sex toy. What do you want?"

"You."

Priyanka scoffed.

"I heard about your gaggle of whores. What the fuck makes you think I want to be apart of that bullshit? That farce."

"I have never been a one woman man. Why should I start now? I love all of them. But, I love you most of all. Always have."

"Fuuuuuuck yooooou. Get out."

"Honey. You have never left my mind. Or heart. Never."

"You abandoned me. _You _of all people. You know what I went through with my mother. How she tried to bar me from my daughter's life."

"I helped you and Alice. Jagadamba or whatever you are calling her now. How is she? You're a grandma. I remember when she was a bump you trying to hide under your top. It's fucking mindboggling. How is the kid?"

"Angry with me. Granddaughter turned four two days ago. Her name is Carly-Jayne."

"She is named after Rick's son and your mom?"

She nodded.

"Is Carl with your daughter?"

"Why do want to know?"

"Just catching up."

"We are enemies. There is no such thing as catching up. You are gathering intel."

Her saying they were enemies hurt his feelings.

"We don't have to be enemies. I want to be apart of you and your son's life."

"I have a life. My son has a father. A family. I want to go home. I don't want to be here. You are delusional. You always kinda were. You are a dictator and terrorist. People bow to you. I can't."

"You ran me off the fucking road. I never said anything. Never pressed charges. I could have ruined your damn life but I didn't. I could do the same now. Make sure you never see your daughter and grandchildren again. I could kill Carl. Not too late. Since he means so much to you."

"Don't threaten my children. That's not a good idea. Last man that did that got his eyelids and dick cut off before his throat was slit. Whose idea do you think that was?"

"Like I said Rick has no idea who he let into Alexandria. You fucking sit there like you're some saint. When I know for a fact you and your people have done shit, I haven't thought about doing. Like poison and incineration."

"We hurt those that threaten us. That's it. We don't do it for sport."

"King Shit killed over fifty of my people. I couldn't fucking let that stand. Neither would you. Your hatred of me ain't about what happened earlier. About me and you nine, ten years ago. Admit it."

"Fuck. You."

Negan laughed.

"I still get your blood up. That's good. A part of you still loves me."

"Like I said, delusional."

"Earlier, you said grandchildren. You told me the boy had been murdered. And the girl is four. Is Alice pregnant?"

"Yes."

"By who?" Negan was still fishing for information. He knew if her daughter was pregnant with a Grimes- that she could be used as a pawn to keep Priyanka and Rick in check.

"A man," Priyanka knew this. She knew him.

"A man? Okay, smartass. Who's Carly-Jayne's father?"

"A dead rapist and an arsehole. His own son killed him to save my daughter who was a stranger to him at the time. She had ran away. She had known him well from before. I knew him, too. You seemed nice enough but there was always something false and hollow about him. She thought she would be safe with him until she got where she was going," she began to cry.

Negan sat beside her. He teared up a little, too. He put his arms around her.

"I hate men who rape. They are not men. There is too much pussy on offer to take one. Especially a child's. That shit makes me fucking sick. What's his name? I want to give him a job. Make you part of my inner circle. You can never have too many true blue people."

"Bigelow. Sister is Boyardee. Bigelow and Boyardee Dalton."

"You just made that shit up. I know you don't want to talk but damn. Who names their kids after tea and noodles?"

"Those are their actual names, Nicodemus. They kept my daughter alive when I couldn't."

"Why did she run away?"

"That's my fault. I separated us from Carl and his mother. Rick was in a coma."

"Asshole should have stayed in one."

"Don't. He's my friend."

"So, is that because he's your in law or because you fucked him? Or it is both?" Negan laughed.

She knocked his arm off her shoulder.

"You are such a jerk."

"You know you love me."

"You are an egotist." "You know you like my big, honking . . . ego.

Just agree to be my wife. Isn't that what you always wanted? I am going to be honest with you. I want that. I am in love with love, baby. And I want a kid. I really do. I would be a good father."

"My son has a father. A good one. Not some fuckhead who thinks he is Ramses."

"I know you feel violated. Gutted and powerless. You hate my fucking guts right now. You will get over that. I am all you got. Alexandria isn't your home anymore. I can get your daughter and granddaughter and bring them come here. They would be treated like royalty."

"They already are. You have to do better than that."

"I want you and I always get what I want."

Silently weeping, she asked, "So, it's marry you or else? You said you hated rape but you coerce women to marry you. That's rape, dumbass. You can't put diamonds in that dodo and call it a necklace. That happened to my child.

Kill me. Kill me like you did Glenn and Abraham. I am not as strong as her. I have already suffered your touch. I am glad I lost your baby. I hate you."

Insulted to his core, he took his arm from around her and paced the room. He wanted to hit her but that was a line even he didn't cross.

"You don't mean that. And I have never forced anyone to marry me. Comparing me that baby murdering pedophile? Your daughter was what? Thirteen? I don't want your life.

I get it. You are tired and just had a baby. And you are in a strange place with an ex you tried to kill. I forgive you by the way. I did that night."

She hunched and said, "There's no way I can possibly physically express how little I give a shit."

Negan chuckled mirthlessly, "I am stealing that."

She yawned as she put her sleeping son down to stretch. Naturally, her eyes closed. He seized the moment. He picked her son up.

As soon as he did, she tried to block him. He was too quick.

"Don't hurt him, Nick. Please," she begged reaching for him.

"Get the fuck out of here with that shit. He's a kid. I don't hurt kids. Pretend like you know me," he said.

"I am sorry about what I said. You're right. I will marry you. Just give him back."

"What's his name again?"

"Dare. Please," she cried.

"I don't want you to feel put upon when you accept my proposal.

As a matter of fact, I want you to sleep on it. And to make sure you are bright eyed and bushy tailed, I am taking the little guy with me so you can sleep through the night," he grabbed the baby bag and headed for the door.

Priyanka wanted to scream and attack him. But, she knew this would be futile and she ran the risk of hurting her son in the process.

When he left, she screamed into the pillow. She was so tired of people using her children against her.

She then proceeded to weep until sleep took over.

During the next five hours, Negan spent the night sans partner. He wanted to bond with the baby.

As he held him, he fell asleep. He dreamed about what would have happened if he had had a life with Priyanka.

He woke up after an hour or so.

He saw Dare was awake too. Quietly staring at him.

"Hey little fellow. You are a handsome little fucker. Your mom gave you a dumbass name. If you have been mine, I would have named you some something biblical like Benjamin or John or Obadiah. That was my old man's name. I am Nicodemus. He was this Jewish dude who believed Jesus in the Bible. I don't put much stalk in God. I think he is a hypocrite. And absentee slum lord too busy playing golf to give a shit.

You know, your brother or sister would be about nine. I imagine it was a he. He would had looked like you but white. Not that there's something wrong about being half black. Three of my wives are black. Biracial people are usually the most smoking hot. Your mommy is half Indian. Exotic for a blonde.

I think about your sister. I wish I could have been there to protect her. No one's protected her in years. She was such a sweet little thing. What type of sick fuck would want to destroy a little girl? Put some baby in her. Motherfucker was too trifling to put on a condom. I did the math. She had to be about twelve," Negan actually cried about this.

"I was the first person to know Alice existed. Your mom was so, so scared. She was fourteen. The boy was seventeen. He was a good kid. I introduced them. He needed a math tutor. She was a wizkid. I didn't think they would go all Romeo and Juliet on each other.

I love your mom. I know she still loves me. She'll come around. Then I will go retrieve Alice and her daughter and then the five of us would be a family. Would you like that? Is that a smile or gas? Yeah, we are going to have so much fun together. Teach you everything I know. Make you my heir even if she has another baby. I don't want no Jacob and Esau shit. Speaking of shit," he sniffed his diaper.

"How can someone so small make a smell that big?" He asked.

He changed his diaper.

As he was doing so, Dare grabbed his finger and rolled his belly at him. He liked Negan.

He blew a raspberry on the boy's stomach and redressed him.

"I am taking you back to your mom."

He let himself in.

He gently shook Priyanka awake. She shot up. She had been crying in her sleep. She clutched her son like a teddy bear.

"Thank you," she said pitifully.

"Welcome. I know you think I did this to be cruel but you are wrong. I did it to prove a point. You decide whether you are happy or miserable. Not me. I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave."

She thought, _Does this fucker realize he just quoted Bowie from Labyrinth? He is the Goblin King._

She said nothing. He kissed her cheek then the baby's cheek.

As he left, he added, "Starting tomorrow you are going to be my new personal chef. Last one killed herself. Dwight will show you the ropes."

"How much time do I have to decide?"

"However, much time you need. But, for what I got in mind, it takes about two weeks to prepare for. So, that's something to swish around in the whole brain pan."

As he was walking out the door, she asked, "What happens if I say no?"

He looked over his shoulder at her and smirked menacingly when he walked out.

Dare began to root. As she fed him, she was coming up with a plan.

"Why didn't I just stay my ass at home yesterday?"


	7. Chapter 7- Why Dwight Hates Daryl

_One of these days I am killing that fucker, _Dwight thought as he watched helplessly as Negan intentionally made out with his ex-wife Sherry with vulgar elation right in front of him.

When Dwight tried to leave, Negan asked, "Where do you think you are going? I haven't dismissed you yet."

Sherry apologized with her eyes to Dwight.

_Yep. When I murder him it is going to feel so fucking good that I might come a little as I watch the life leave his eyes. _

Dwight had never hated no one as thoroughly and completely as he did Negan. Well, save his birth mother and the man she let take her away from him.

Dwight, always the lucky one has been in the presence of both off and on in the past six months.

He had been too much of a coward to confront his mother. So, he decided to torment the man he held responsible.

It was the next day. He was in the kitchen with Priyanka.

They had been working in the kitchen together the last week.

She noticed he was wearing Daryl's angel wing vest.

She could tell wearing it gave him a certain amount of pride.

Opening up a can of dog food, he asked her, "Have I told you I was adopted?"

"No. How old were you?"

"Seven," he said sounding sadder than he meant to."

"Did you ever know your real mum and dad?"

"Not my dad. I heard he was a real monster. It was me, my mom and her brother. We were a family. They were rednecks in retrospect but we loved each other. Had so much fun. Then one day, it was all over. I never saw her again. Until recently."

"Really who is your mom? Do I know her?"

"Probably."

"You are making me pull teeth here. Who?"

Dwight told her and made her swear to secrecy.

Priyanka's jaw hit the floor.

"Ain't no way. I mean for real? I just can't imagine. It explains a lot and nothing all once."

"Well, I can't either. She chose him over me. And I never understood why."

"Quit being such a pussy and ask."

"It is not as simple as all that. I don't know what to say. I don't think she recognizes me."

"Of course she does. From self experience, you know your baby anywhere. She is probably afraid of rejection. Everyone loves to forget mothers are people, too."

"Moms have no right to be people. Dad's neither. That is like saying God is a person. If you aren't better than us then who are we? She could have been better. I wish she had been better," Dwight became visibly upset.

"Do you need anything else? I need to go, uh, go and do something," Dwight said flimsily.

"It's alright. I can cope. Go."

Dwight took the dogfood sandwich on a detour and stopped by his apartment. He had a small box full of mementos that he had managed to keep.

One piece of nostalgia in particular was a photograph of a newborn him and his mother taken by his uncle on the day he was born. She looked at him with love and devotion. It was right there on her kind but sadly pretty face.

He flipped it over to read the inscription on the back. He traced his fingers over his mother's writing so much that words were barely legible. The message had the propensity to either give him hope or piss him off. Today, he went with pissed.

And decided to take it out on his favorite whipping boy- Daryl Dixon.

Feeling anger on top of all consuming sadness, he decided to swing by Daryl's cell with the offending sandwich at the ready.

Daryl flinched and squinted when the light shone on him. He figured any moment could be his last. He had made peace with that.

There was one thing, Daryl couldn't reconcile- Dwight's hatred. In his mind, only crime he had committed towards Dwight was to try to help him.

Sounding extra ghoulish, he said, "I made this extra special just for you."

He threw the plate down. The sandwich hit the filthy floor wet side down.

Daryl put it back together without being told to. He took a bite and said defiantly, "Finger licking good."

Dwight scoffed at him and was about to leave when Daryl said, "I don't get you. Why do you hate me?"

Stopped at the door and said without turning around, "You don't remember me, do you? It's been over twenty years. No way you would tried to help me six months ago if you knew who I was. You would've known better."

"I would know you anywhere. That was why I tried to lead you to Alexandria. I wanted to help."

Dwight said wryly, "You help me? You took her away from me. Fuck you. I hope you die in here."

Dwight slammed the door. Daryl said, "So do I."

**Daryl- Tell Your Truth**

Daryl sat there dirty, funky, cold and naked in the cell. It had been for the better part of a week.

In the days before the end of the world, he and Merle had lied and stole enough that Daryl was able to get enough surgery that at a cursory glance he physically looked like what he was- male.

Still, a little self conscious he made it a point to cover himself whenever the door opened.

He had eaten half of his dog food sandwich Dwight had so gleefully given him and drank all the stale water he had.

Apart of him felt like he deserved this treatment. For his part in Glenn's death- in which Dwight _kindly _left him a Polaroid of. He wept like a baby.

Dwight wanted to make Daryl pay for a crime he felt he knew he committed against him.

Then again every time he saw Dwight's face he felt sick to his stomach. Not for the reasons one might assume.

Something about Dwight's belligerent determination to be an asshole reminded him of Merle.

Merle. Merle. Magnificent, somehow even more fucked up than him, loving, loyal even in the first moments of undeath Merle.

Merle for the most part was extremely protective of Del- short for Cordelia Leigh Dixon when he managed not to be in jail.

When he got a whiff of what their father was doing to the girl who was ten at the time- he beat the shit of their father, Early, then removed her from that house. It was 1981.

He got a beat up old pickup from a friend.

Robbed a bank and put them up in motels and extended stay places for over a year.

A sixth grade dropout himself, Merle made sure Daryl went to school.

"You are gonna be better than us, girl," Merle said.

"I am not a girl. I am a boy. I told you."

"Whatever you say, sugar and spice," he teased. Daryl kicked him.

Merle laughed.

During this time was she decided to live his truth and declare himself Daryl and began to dress as a boy. His father had forced him to wear dresses and skirts and keep his dark blonde hair long. Which he didn't mind. Long hair was in fashion during this era of Motley Crue and other hair bands.

This didn't stop Daryl from stealing boy jeans and shirts and changing into them once he got to school. They weren't always clean or fit well but that wasn't the point. He felt right in those clothes.

Del became Daryl because she liked the way it sounded. No other reason than that.

Merle resisted at first but after a week or two he began referring to him by that name.

They would go camping and hunting in the woods during the weekend. They ate what they killed. But, on days when they caught nothing, they would eat hotdogs and beans and spaghetti-os.

He felt a certain measure of safety with his brother.

They would steal together. At a young age he knew he liked danger and adventure. That he was a troublemaker sometimes.

Merle had taught him how to break and enter. How to use his looks to his advantage to entice pedophiles and Merle would rob them.

Then on one night, Merle left his brother alone in a motel and went to a bar, got drunk and hit on a guy. When he the guy led him and turned him down loudly-calling him a backwoods, deliverance faggot; he beat the guy down. Unfortunately for him, the guy was the son of a federal judge and he got sentenced to five years.

Leaving poor Daryl no choice but to go back home once the authorities found the child.

He was twelve then. It was 1983. Puberty had been begun. That was hell enough watching his body become decidedly feminine. His soul and his meat suit did not match.

Merle told the authorities that their father was a child molester.

They confronted Daryl about it but he denied it. He was ashamed of the abuse and wanted to protect his father. He loved him. So, Merle's pleas fell on deaf ears.

Daryl would grow to regret not confessing then.

Because what happened next went from bad to horrific.

Sometimes, Daryl swore he could still smell the beer and cigarettes and rotgut whiskey on father's breath as he breathed on him. Feel him painfully inside, taste him. Hear his ugly voice in his head. Telling him was nothing. He would never be nothing. That he was a freak and an abomination. That if that fairy tale God was real that He didn't love him either.

"I am going to fuck you until you like it, girl."

That day never happened. Something worse did. He had an orgasm during. His body let him down once again. It didn't hurt even though his soul and mind found it excruciating. This was just the body's way of defending itself against assault.

That night, Daryl felt so ashamed that he tried to kill himself later that night.

He was about to pull the trigger then thought about Merle. And the last thing he said to him, "Merle is going to always love Daryl. He is not a mistake."

Daryl put the gun down from his temple.

Weapon still in hand, he wanted to kill the real problem. He pointed the gun at her dad.

He was wide awake and doctoring a bottle of Taaka.

"Little bitch, either shoot or get me a beer."

He pulled back the hammer.

Early being the worst stood up and walked into the gun. It landed in the middle of his collarbone.

"You say you a man. Got the balls?"

Just four pounds of pressure on the trigger and all his problems would go away.

_Do it, _a voice said so loud and deep and clear that he instinctively knew this was obviously the wrong thing to do.

He unloaded the gun. Dropping the bullets on the floor and shooting the one in the chamber into the ceiling. Early leapt at him breaking the empty vodka bottle over his head.

Daryl remembers little after that. Just waking up bloody and naked and in pain. He was so battered that he had to miss three weeks of school.

Which was an extra hardship for Daryl because he liked school if not for the guaranteed two meals a day, five days a week if nothing else. There were days where Early simply forgot to feed him.

He still had to steal make up just to be passable when he returned to class. The excuse he gave for all the limp, bruises and absences was a car wreck but it sounded like a fucking lie.

A couple of Daryl's teachers felt this. Especially a young health teacher named Moira Judge.

She knew there was abuse of some sort in the Dixon home. But unless the young lady said something, nothing would happen to stop it. Maybe not even then.

Meanwhile, the senior Dixon saw _her_ apparent enjoyment of his touch as a validation of his crime against his child.

Therefore the flagrantabuse became even more frequent. It was an ego boost for the old man.

One day when Daryl was fifteen and his dad was passed out in bed beside him, Something About Amelia premiered. This was one of the few times he had managed to pay the light bill.

It was about a fourteen year old girl who told a guidance counselor that her father was sexually assaulting her. The movie proved to be a revelation to young Daryl. It saved his life.r

That was the first time something confirmed what he suspected. What was happening was wrong and contrary to what his father said someone would believe him.

Even with this revelation, Daryl had to work up the courage to do the thing.

Plus, he was beginning to feel a change in his body.

Sore breasts, stomach aches, weight gain and an odd craving for mustard sardines with Hormel chili together covered in unmelted Velveeta cheese. He had not had his period in months. He feared he had gotten him pregnant.

Coincidentally, the next day in health class, they were teaching sex ed.

He waited until after class to ask his teacher a question.

"Mrs. Judge?" Daryl asked more shy than usual.

Then paused.

More than patient with the unkempt and musty girl, the teacher said sweetly, "Cordelia, spill it."

"I saw this movie with Sam Malone from Cheers. And he was doing bad stuff to his daughter. Like husband and wife stuff. Um, can a dad make his daughter pregnant?"

The teacher immediately became alarmed. She knew intrinsically Cordelia Dixon was an abused child. To have that suspicion confirmed was heartbreaking.

But, she calmly responded, "Yes. Del, why do you ask?"

The look of devastation on Daryl's face was well, devastating. It was a microexpression. Almost missable. Moira saw it.

"Um, in the movie the girl thought she was pregnant and that's why she told," Daryl lied hoping she had not seen the film.

"That's not why she told. He was grooming her little sister to be next.

Cordelia, is your father, um, interfering with you? Is he forcing himself on you? Are you pregnant with your sibling?"

Daryl began to panic, " I am not saying that. It's just a movie. What's wrong with you, lady? You are sick."

She put her hands on Daryl's shoulders.

"Don't touch me, dyke. I am not pregnant. I am not talking about the m-m-movie. Not me," Daryl began to weep and ran out the room.

Teacher followed him.

"Cordelia, sweetheart. We both know what you just told me. Don't be ashamed. It is not your fault. It's not your fault, baby," she said loudly.

Daryl stopped running.

_Just tell, _she thought. So, she did.

It was freeing to say the least.

Mrs. Judge took her to the principal's office. She explained Daryl's situation.

The principal was a bit of a hard ass. Nothing fazed him. Except what was happening to Daryl. He cried tears of anger.

He was also Moira's husband.

He reassured Daryl it wasn't his fault.

The guidance counselor on the other hand was a total bitch. They left him alone with her.

"I knew something was going on with you, Dixon. You are a bright young lady but you don't apply yourself. You get into fights. Sometimes, you come to school filthy. I have gotten so many smell complaints."

Daryl was accustomed to being dragged through the mud, so her little dig almost felt like a kiss.

He responded, "Sometimes, we don't have light, gas and water. I can't control that. Dad drinks the bill money. My brother would pay it. He took me out of there. He tried to save me. I didn't let him. He's in jail."

The guidance counselor didn't like Daryl.

She only saw a troublemaker. White trash. A teenage waste of space.

"You are pretty enough but you go out of your way to hide it. You don't have any friends," she said judging.

"I don't need or want friends. Those bitches don't like me and I don't like them," Daryl scoffed.

"Language, young lady."

"I am not a lady," Daryl said definitively.

"What does mean? You _are_ uncouth."

"Uncouth? Are you calling me trash?"

She said with a vicious calmness, "You said it. Not me."

Daryl held his composure but every part of him wanted to snatch that bitch's soul out her body.

Instead Daryl asked, "What happens now? I mean. My dad, he hurts me and I can't take it anymore. A baby is the last straw. I need help. What now?"

"Are you mad at your father? Where is your mother?" She asked unabashedly rolling her eyes.

"Of course, I am mad at him. He hurts me everyday. Every chance he gets. Its not just the man, woman stuff but he hits me with his fists. Says ugly, ugly things to me. He won't give me money. Barely gives me food. My life is hell and none of you even notice because you see nothing when you look at me."

The woman coldly said, "You could try harder."

"How? I am. I am trying right now."

"Calm down, " the woman said taking notes. The principal wanted her take before they called the police.

Daryl despite everything was fairly obedient at his core.

He calmed down and finished answering the question, "My mom has been gone since I was seven. My brother is in jail. I have no one. Please call the police. Help me. You are supposed to help me."

Calling herself being the devil's advocate even though she was clearly a minion, she said, "I think you are angry with your father. And if you are indeed pregnant, its some little boy you're protecting. Come clean. You just want the attention. Good or bad. I know about girls like you."

Daryl's face ran hot with tears.

"He said this would happen. That nobody would believe me. Why would I lie about something as shitty and fucked up as this?"

"Language."

"Fuck you. This is embarrassing. Humiliating. My father likes to," she couldn't bring herself to say the word rape or violate for that matter.

Feeling vicious, the counselor said, "Did you do something?"

"What do you mean?"

"You are mature for your age. A tall girl, strong and healthy looking girl. You're over six feet tall. Couldn't you fight him off if you wanted to? Maybe you have an Electra complex."

"What does even mean? He's my dad. You can't hurt your parents. He's all the family I have. So, for me to tell on him. I am scared. Not for me. But, my baby. I know I am having one. I can feel it. He can't raise it. What if it's a girl? Please help me."

"Electra wanted to kill her mother and marry her father. Maybe you gave an obviously weak man the wrong idea?"

"You saying I wanted to?"

Smug, the woman replied again, "You said it, not me."

Daryl stood up and cracked his neck.

The counselor looked at him as if to challenge him.

Feeling years of repressed pain and rage surged the depths of his being. It came out through his hands when he grabbed the middle aged shrew. He pulled her from behind the desk and onto the ground.

As he punched her, he screamed, "I didn't want to. I didn't want to. He was supposed to love and protect me. You stupid evil, bitch."

The principal and two other men had to pull him off the woman. She tried to play victim but once Daryl told them what she said, he fired the woman but called an ambulance for both of them.

Daryl was also consequently arrested for assault. The bitch wanted to press charges.

Mrs. Judge didn't like the guidance counselor. She whispered in Daryl's ear, "I always wanted to punch elitist bitch in the mouth."

Daryl almost smiled.

She stayed by his side all night.

Once there, he was handcuffed to the hospital bed.

"Is this really fucking necessary? I am not going to hurt anybody," Daryl lamented.

"You broke her nose and her jaw," the cop said.

"Maybe next time that cunt will remember not to run her stupid cunt mouth off about shit she don't know nothing about. She said I wanted it. I didn't. She said I did something to make him think I wanted him to do this to me.

Did I?" She began to cry again.

The cop softened.

"It's not your fault," he grabbed his hand. He pulled away.

Soon, they examined him. Mrs. Judge held his hand the whole time.

Sure enough, he was three and a half months along. Too late for an abortion. Not that he particularly wanted one. The idea of not being alone appealed to him. They also took a rape kit. It had literally became available for the first time in Alabama that week. They collected plenty of evidence.

A female detective came in to question him. He spilled his guts to her. He even told her about his gender identity and how that was his father's excuse for the abuse. The cop asked, "You want to be a man because your father assaulted you and see being a man is better than being a woman?" Officer Macgillicuddy didn't mean anything by it. She really wanted to know.

"I know you are trying to help me. You have been nice and I feel like you believe me. But, no offense but where in the fuck you get that from?

I knew when I was three I was in the wrong body. That's my clearest, earliest memory. I told my father when I was eight and that when the abuse started. He said he was going to straighten me out. But, the more I think about it. He was probably going to do it to me any way.

He was hitting me and putting cigarettes out on me way before that. And only when my brother isn't around. I can't help feeling the way I feel. I am a man."

"Cordelia-"

"My name is Daryl. Not Cordelia. That might as well be my slave name. No offense," the officer was black.

"I am thicker skinned than that, darling. Daryl is a nice name. Like that blonde actress. You kind of look her. Such a pretty girl."

"Quit calling me that. And I don't think men are better than women because they are not. I don't hate women. I love them. I am attracted to them. I just know I am not one."

"So. You are a lesbian?"

"I am a man. Men like women."

"Tell that to that baby in your belly. Only women can do that. It makes you no less a warrior but more so."

"I guess but you don't get it. He didn't make me feel this way. He gets no credit for that. I feel I am worthless. Unlovable. That he gets credit for."

The officer was touched and hugged Daryl. He was only half sincere. Daryl saw this as an opportunity to take the handcuff key.

After this, they contacted _her_ father telling the "man" that Cordelia had got hit by a car and is a coma to get him to show up.

Once he arrived there was an uniformed officer outside the door, "Early Dixon?"

"Here about my baby girl," hesaid.

"So are we. You are under arrest, you daughter raping piece of redneck shit. You got her pregnant."

Early was a combination of horrified and fascinated. He didn't think he could get her pregnant. He tried to run for it.

Mrs. Judge had went to the cantina for a coffee. So, Daryl was alone he heard the commotion and let himself free and stepped outside his door just in time to see Early get beat down and arrested.

It brought him no joy like he thought it would. It made him sad because didn't have to be turn out like this. He just wanted to be a nice, normal family like the Clampets or the Waltons. Shit, he would have settled to be like Bunkers or the Huxtables for that matter.

Early saw Daryl and screeched, "You lying fucking whore! I am gonna kill you, jolly green giant , Brooke Shields, Lolita bitch. It ain't mine! It ain't mine."

He ran back into his room and vomited in the toilet. He had his own bathroom. He knew he had crossed the point of no return.

He lifted his shirt and looked at his stomach.

"It's me and you against the world, huh. I love you, baby."

His brain skipped ahead to the day he gave birth in January of 1987. By then, Merle was out of jail early and waiting in the waiting room for his little brother slash nephew to be born.

One of the nurses came and got curly haired Merle at around midnight.

When Merle came in, Daryl was looking at his son with absolute aww. He had unswaddled him and took off all his clothes to make sure everything was in place.

Merle asked, "How many heads its got?"

"My son has the one, motherfucker. And it is beautiful. He is perfect. Everything I was supposed to be. Still can be. I have been reading about people like me. Trapped in their bodies. Right now, though, looking at him. Maybe this body ain't so bad. Look at what it can do."

Caught up in that memory, the door suddenly popped open brought him back to his 2016 reality. It was Dwight.

"She insisted," he put a hot plate of food in front of Daryl. It smelled like fried chicken and potatoes. Priyanka had made it for him. Dwight had soft spot for her.

Daryl was so grateful. As he reached for it, Dwight snatched it back up.

"Come on, asshole. You are better than this," Daryl said hungry and annoyed.

"Am I?

Why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't think I had the right to. I was afraid you would, reject me because I did it. I became who I always was. I made myself whole. So, I thought."

"So much for being out and proud, huh?"

"If you know who I am. Why didn't you come to Alexandria with me? You and Sherry while you had the chance?"

"Oh, so, only you get to pick and choose when we have a relationship? I waited for you to come back. You never did."

"I thought you were better off without me," Daryl explained sounding almost desperate.

"That wasn't your decision to make."

"The lifestyle I was living wasn't conducive to keeping you around. I hate to say it but you would not have been safe with me. I was up to some pretty stupid shit then. I was still young and was working through some serious shit. I was not prepared. I did not have the tools. Were the Judges not good to you?"

"They were excellent. They loved me. I took their last name. Since my first one was nothing but a reminder of pain."

"For the first time in my life, I praise Jesus. They took care of you."

"No, thanks to you."

Back to 1987, Merle asked, "What's his name?"

"Daryl Dwight Dixon Jr. After me," he said putting his diaper and clothes back on.

Back to 2016, Dwight says, "You can go to Hell. As good as they were to me. I wanted you! You, Ma. You said on my eighth birthday you would be back. You never did. You left me so you could become him. Being him was more important to you than being my mother. I needed you, too.

I bet as far as anyone knows you have no child.

So, fuck you. And enjoy your dumbass meal. I hope you choke on it."

Naked or not, Daryl stood up and surprised his son by hugging him.

Dwight tried to pretend like he didn't want it but he hugged him back.

This was one of the few instances where they were absolutely alone. No one else to see. No one else to hear.

"Ma, I shot you. I shot because I thought you had forgotten about me. Or wanted to. I know about Early and what he did to you. I know I am your brother, too. I thought you hated me and didn't want to hide it anymore. I would hate me if I was you."

"I can't hate you. Our father hated all of us. I don't hate him. I never did. If I hate him then I have to hate myself then I have to you and Merle. I can't do it. I won't.

I think I would have shot my mom too if my dad hadn't beat me to the punch," Daryl said trying to make a joke.

"That's not funny. Like decidedly not so," he laughed.

Then Dwight continued, "Anyway, at the time I was pissed because I assumed you didn't recognize me. That you could be kind to a stranger and not me. That's why I took your bike and your food. I'm sorry," he cried on her shoulder.

"No, I am sorry I was too weak to keep you. I had no choices. I asked Mrs. Judge to adopt you. She was my friend."

"She was. She always had nice things to say about you. Dad not so much."

"He was a republican. Would else would you expect?"

They shared a laugh. The same actually.

"I am not letting you off the hook. I am still pissed. One day, I want to know why. Uncle Merle?"

"He's dead."

"Fuck. I figured when I didn't see him. You were always his shadow."

"Dwight, I hate he hurt you. You're still handsome. I am going to kill Negan. Want to help?" His voice was as soft as Dwight remembered it.

"With everything I got," Dwight left his birth mother.

About an hour or later, Daryl was given a flashlight, some books, sweats, a pillow and a blanket. He knew his son had everything to do with this and had softened towards him somewhat.

One of the books was The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison. He would never let anyone know this was his favorite book. He discovered it in Mrs. Judge's library. She had begged him not to read it because the inbred baby dies and Pecola loses it towards the end. He saw it as a challenge. What not to do.

But, just like she wanted blue eyes, he wanted to be a male just as badly except with him, his desire was not a delusion. He related to Pecola but he felt like he was made of stronger stuff.

When he picked up the book to re-read it, a photo fell out.

He kissed the photo and remembered what he wrote on the back.

It said: Daryl will always love Dwight no matter what. You are not a mistake.

He put the picture under his shirt and slept more soundly than he had in years.


	8. Chapter 8 I Knew You Bleeped Rick

Three weeks passed.

Negan was still pursuing Priyanka like crazy. Making sure they were together every evening.

He was nice to her. Charming. Good with her son. He even told her about his plan to make him his heir.

She pretended to be honored but in all reality, she was horrified. Negan was the last person on Earth she wanted to be her son's example of manhood. She missed Achilles dearly.

_He's nineteen and more man than a fifty year old._

The more time she spent with him, the more she despised him and didn't trust him. But, she hid this. Jagadamba didn't pull her acting talent out the sky.

Negan even went as far as to recreate a particularly memorable picnic. During said picnic, she got food poisoning from the pork they got from the Kingdom which caused her to throw up into the night. Once she even intentionally threw up on him.

That was four nights ago. She scarcely felt any better.

She was beginning to think this was more than just food poisoning.

Dwight was helping her in the kitchen. The pair hit it off immediately. They had a surprising number of things in common.

One being a deep and unbinding love for all things Queen, especially 1980s Queen and only rap group capable of a four part harmony- Bone Thugs in Harmony. They both knew those songs by heart.

The main thing they shared included an especially unspoken, deep disdain for Negan. They were both adept at faking the opposite.

"How's your mom?" Priyanka asked.

"Alive. She, he wants us to talk but its not feasible right now. It was a Christmas miracle no one caught us. They would have thought we lovers or something. Me hugging butt naked man."

"Must be odd seeing him like that."

"Naked?"

"I mean yeah but as a man."

"It's weirdly. But, her, his face is the same. Mostly. That beauty mark and his beady eyes. I don't care how realistic her dick is, she will always be a she to me. She is the x in my xy.

That said, there was always a sweetness in her face she tried to hide by frowning and trying to looking hard. Uncle Merle had the same problem."

"I noticed in the van how he looked at you. With longing. I knew it wasn't sexual. I recognized his look from my own face about my kid."

"Well. Being honest, I don't want to talk to Daryl. I want to talk to my Ma. I miss her and her long ponytail. She always shook her hair out her face. She still does. So feminine. I want my mother. Not a brother."

"Brother?"

"I am inbred. Our father raped her and I was the result."

"Damn. That's fucked up. But, it got you here and you are top water. I didn't really think anything of Daryl at first. Other than the fact, he has always looks dirty and shadows Rick, I didn't think much of him. But, he's a fighter and a survivor. He's not who I thought at all. You should be proud."

"Of what exactly? Lots of people are sexually assaulted. Lots of people survive it. Doesn't make him, her special. Her being my mom made her special. She loved me or so I thought."

"He made sure you went to a good family. That's something he didn't have. That's love."

"You are only taking up for him because you threw your kid away, too," he said feeling truly exposed as well as disposable.

"Kiss my ass, cretin. I am the onliest friend you got."

"Pick a spot. Hell, I will even bite it if you prefer. Hell, I would be happy to see you bent over."

"Dwight!" She slapped at him. She blushed.

"Priya! You're beautiful. Like a hotter, less creepy Angelina Jolie when she was blonde. And I was super in love with her," Dwight had a bit of a crush.

Truth be told, she did, too. She liked her boys damaged in some way.

He also knew this would disarm her after his mean-spirited comment.

"He's also tall and so muscular. So are you. His arms are huge. Wow. He's a mom like Thomas Beattie. He had a similar background. His dad was a piece of shit, too."

"The world's first pregnant man?"

"Yeah. Speaking of pregnancy. I have a favor to ask."

"I will totally help you with that. I am willing to take one for the team," Dwight said smiling and winking.

Dwight was the only person alive capable making her turn beet red.

She giggled then turned up the CD player up even loud and said, "I have been feeling like shit for too long now. I need a pregnancy test."

"Damn, girl. You don't waste no time. Why not go Dr. Carson?"

"I don't trust him. He might snitch. He has a certain little bitch quality."

"That he does. Why do you trust me?"

"Can't go through life holding everyone suspect. Plus, if I get fucked over I know who to kill like a dog. You and Laura are the only ones I talk to. I ignore and avoid everyone else. I know you will use discretion. I just got to know."

"Could have it have happened before you came?"

"It definitely did. I haven't slept with him yet or anyone else here."

"It's a known fact that he has been trying to conceive for a while. This could be a real coup for you. Put it on him. Unless it's half black like your other two. Otherwise, you should come clean."

"No. My son's father and I only did oral. I have only had sex with one man since I gave birth. He is white," everything she said was true. She had not even let Negan smell it again yet.

But, she had kissed him. She always thought he was a good kisser.

"Someone owes me a favor. Meet me back here later. Say before dinner time?"

She agreed.

As she watched him take one of his fabulous egg sandwiches to Daryl, her heart fluttered nervously. She put hands on her belly.

She knew if she was indeed pregnant that the baby was certainly Rick's.

It was at that moment, she became nauseous and ran into the community bathroom.

Arat was around.

She had been low-key stalking Priyanka trying to find something on her that would take the shine off her in Negan's eyes.

This is the third day in the row that she seen her run green into the restroom.

She followed her and listened to her vomit, dry heave and cough.

When Priyanka came out, she sighed and rolled her eyes at Arat.

"Bitch. I am not in the mood. I am just not," Priyanka said turning on the faucet and splashing her face.

"I bet your whole life you have always gotten what you wanted.

I see the silver spoon hanging out your ass.

All you have to do was bat your lashes and throw back your blonde hair and switch your narrow ass and boom you win. Tell your parents you wanted something and boom there it was. You think you are going to get Negan just as easily. You're not. You're just one of a bunch. You're not special. You just another piece of pussy he hasn't gotten bored with yet."

Arat's every word dripped with contempt and jealousy.

Priyanka picked up on this.

She replied, "Like he did you? He didn't even deem you worth marrying. And even if nothing has happened between the two of you. You wish it would. I know you do."

Priyanka got in her face. Arat stood flat foot.

Priyanka continued, "Don't bother to make denials. Save that breath for a fart or something. This is the last time I am ever speaking to you. You don't know shit about me. I take my wins.

They are never, ever given to me. I lose all the fucking time. You think I want to be here? Away from my oldest and her child? The father of my child. And I know you are going to bust your insipid flat ass and go tell him. That's the type of garbage person you truly are. I tell him everyday how I hate him.

But, you are wasteful. Go ahead use that farty breath. Cause before long you are going to breathe your last and I am going to be there smirking when you do."

Arat snarled at her and said, "You think-"

Priyanka simply walked away from her.

Arat kicked over the trashcan over and screamed.

"I hate that bourgeois bitch," Arat knew as long as Negan had his sights set on Priyanka that she was untouchable.

She needed dirt on her.

Several hours passed.

Dwight found her a pregnancy test as agreed upon.

"Clear, Blue and not so Easy," Dwight said smirking.

Priyanka waited for the test to bear its secrets.

She hoped to God it was negative. No such luck. She totally pregnant with Rick Grimes' bay-bee.

_Rick must have knocked me up that night. Goddamn it. Just fertile as his son. Or that the other way around?_

_At least it will be a beautiful child. Probably won't be too bright but I will work on that. Ultimately, it's Rick's fault I am even here. If he had taken my daughter seriously. _

_Hope its a girl. It's a blessing Dare is not deaf. I might not be as fortunate next time, _she thought holding back tears.

She disposed of the test in the kitchen. She knew Arat was either still watching or had someone else to.

Then she made her way to her room and put on one of those little black dresses she had refused to wear and did her hair and makeup. She left Dare with a giddy Laura.

She then went to Negan. He was clad in a black silk robe and boxers. He was with one of wives, the red headed Frankie.

When Nicodemus saw Priyanka he almost clapped and cheered. He could see the fourteen year old he reluctantly fell in love with.

He smirked as she awkwardly stood before him.

"Frankie, give us a minute. She got that cat ate the canary look," Negan smiled.

Frankie smiled at Priyanka. She liked it when he married other women. It meant less wear and tear on her.

Negan shouted at her, "Keep that pussy wet. This shouldn't take too long."

Frankie shook her head and kept going.

"Classy," Priyanka said.

"Since you refuse to let me into heaven, I got up in those clouds somehow. What's up?" He said opening his robe to bring more emphasis to his erection print.

"You, evidently. Cover that thing up."

Negan chuckled and covered himself.

"What do you need, sweetheart?"

"I am pregnant. Or I at least think I am. I feel different. Been puking."

"Well, fuck me. Well, you haven't fucked me. What do you want to do about it?"

"Have it. At first, I thought about putting it on you. Wouldn't have been hard. You would have believed me. You would have had no reason not to."

"I would have believed you. Until I saw it and he or she would've come out black."

"It's father is white. About as white as white can get. Give me a little credit," she scoffed.

"Nah. Baby girl, you have never been an idiot. But, why tell me the truth?"

"I didn't do it for you. I am doing it for the child. I lied to Alice- Jagadamba for so long. Seventeen years of her life, I denied her her true identity. That was cruel and unkind. Cowardly. I learn from my bad decisions. Never again. I am tired of lying."

"Who's the daddy?"

"Rick."

Negan clapped his hands and laughed.

"I knew you fucked Rick. Tell me. Was it those baby blues that done it? The curly hair, his mug. What was it that caused you to give him some strange? You his girl?"

"It was an one night stand. We had been drinking and whining about our children. Who are husband and wife. They got married behind our backs. And his girlfriend is the dark skinned one with the dreads."

"Never would guessed both Sheriff Andy and little Opie would be is down with the swirl. She's hot as fuck. That flawless skin, those eyes and that tiny waist.

Mexican chick and the other black chick were a little too mousy for my taste. White girl was hot, too."

"Michonne, Rosita, Sasha and Maggie. I don't care about any of those bitches. Just don't. Well, I take that back about Michonne. She is my daughter's aunt. She admires that slag."

"This shit is a brainstabbing mess. So, Carl knocked up the egg first and Rick knocked up the chicken – you last. Huh, I guess the egg came first after all," he chortled.

Priyanka made a confused face at him. She didn't get the joke.

Negan got out of bed and walked over to Priyanka.

He put his hands on her waist. Moving them up and down along her curves.

He whispered in her ear, "I still want to marry you. I don't care. Tell me, who is Dare's dad?"

"My stepbrother."

He replied without judgement, "If memory serves he looks like Nimrod."

"He does. And yes. I will marry you but I have conditions."

He pulled her especially close and growled, "Fuck me. Then tell me."

"No, naughty boy. I tell you. Better yet, we put it in writing and then I fuck you."

"Oral . . . contract only. I keep my word then I am to beat that pussy like it owes me money. Deal?"

Priyanka bit her lip sexily while pretending to be thinking it over. Her mind was made up hours ago after her confrontation with Arat.

She gave him a peck on the side of his mouth.

"I want three witnesses then we have a deal."

"Who you got in mind?" She cupped her soft but shapely bottom in his hands.

"Dwight, Daryl and that wannabe gangsta, chav bitch with the short, stupid, poorly bleached hair."

"Arat?"

"That smelly minge's name is A-rat? She goes by that name on purpose?"

"She's Egyptian or Indian or some type of Spanish. I don't fucking care. She used too much teeth."

"I knew you fucked her," she said.

"Touche," he got on the walkie and contacted them both instructing Dwight to retrieve Daryl.

Dwight wanted to ask why but he hated the sound of Negan's voice.

Daryl was asleep when Dwight shook his leg to wake him.

Daryl opened his eyes slowly hoping Dwight would be there. He was inwardly delighted when it was.

His voice sweetly smoky replied, "Hey, little boy. What's up?"

"Boss man requires your presence. And mine and Arat."

"Is she the one with stupid hair? Looks like a wet chihuahua?" Daryl asked wiping sleep out his eye.

"Yep."

"All right. Led the way. I do have a question," Daryl said.

"What?"

"Could I have some shoes?" Daryl pouted.

Subconsciously, Daryl had a tendency to act a little feminine around his son.

On some level, he knew that would endear him to him again.

Dwight nodded and said, "Wait here," he said.

Despite all his bluster, he wanted to be a dutiful son.

He went into his own closet and got him shoes. They wore the same size.

Daryl almost didn't think he would come back.

"These ought to fit," Dwight said.

He gave a grateful nod.

Dwight watched him like a hawk looking for signs of his mother.

Seeing him stare, Daryl smiled nervously.

_There she is_, Dwight thought.

He stuck his head out and looked both ways. When he saw no one, he almost knocked Daryl down bear hugging him.

_I love you, Ma. I do. I just wished you loved me, _he thought. Not ready to say it out loud.

Daryl was so excited for the hug.

Dwight pulled away and walked out. Leaving him there kind of stunned.

Dwight shouted, "Bring your ass on, woman."

Daryl snapped out of it and caught up.

Daryl said almost in a whine, "Don't call me a woman."

Dwight stopped and whispered in his ears, "Did I or did I not come out of your sixteen-year-old snatch?"

"I am beginning to tire of how you talk to me but yes you did."

Dwight walked ahead. Daryl lagged behind contemplating what he said. He hadn't factored this in when he made the decision to transition. Maybe he was so determined to become a man because he wanted to obliterate everything that reminded him of his past i.e. his father. He was tortured because of who he was for so long that becoming a man was a victory. Proof that he didn't endure all that abuse for nothing. He didn't think it would potentially be seen as a rejection by her son. It wasn't that. It was an acceptance of himself.

Then it occurred to him when it came to Dwight her still saw him through the eyes of a hurt eight year old boy and not a twenty-nine year old man.

Back to Dwight, he immediately noticed Arat looked content.

He asked, "Whose life you about to destroy? You are too happy."

She ignored the question and asked one, "What's Cletus the slackjawed yokel doing here?"

Daryl said, "Kiss my ass, bitch. Looking like a pigeon took a shit on your head."

Dwight laughed.

Arat fumed, "You're going to pay that, faggot."

Dwight pushed her ahead and said, "Shut the hell up and walk."

They showed up together.

Arat feeling like she had finally gotten that dirt on Priyanka was smirking when she saw her.

Not able to contain herself, Arat blurted, "Sir, I found this in the kitchen trash. She's playing you," she confidently handed him the pregnancy test.

Negan accepted it. Doing a bit of theatre, he looked at Priyanka darkly. His glare was so menacing that it actually kinda scared her a little.

Negan grabbed her by the shoulders and said, "This is the closest I have been to your pussy the whole time you have been here.

I know she's knocked up. She told me. Stay in your lane, Arat. You didn't even bother to find out why I called the three of you here. You went straight for the kill. That's why you will never be a leader. As a matter of fact give me your weapons. You're on walker duty for the next month. You don't fuck with my fiance."

"But, sir. I was looking out for you. I am Negan. That's my job."

"That's all well but you and I both know why. Give Dwight your shit and leave."

She obeyed with tears in her eyes and left.

Negan called in Fat Pete to replace her.

Dwight asked, "Why did you called us in here?"

"My future wifey here wants witnesses as she makes her demands."

"Not demands, conditions," she corrected. Conditions sounds gentler than commands.

"All right, darling, what are your conditions?" He asked playing with her.

"For one, you cannot weaponize my babies. From my seventeen year old to Carl to Dare to my unborn and my grandchildren- they aren't yours to use against me or Rick for that matter. You got to find another way."

Negan already didn't agree with this but for the sake of time and his libido, he half-heartedly agreed.

But, he did say this, "You got to understand sometimes the only way to get through to hardheaded motherfucker is remind them what they have to lose."

"You've never been a parent. All the good ones already know what they got to lose. Threatening our babies just makes us go medieval on your ass even if it takes awhile. Mark my words Rick is coming after you eventually."

"You have too much faith in the man. I will just chalk that shit up to pregnancy brain.

What else do you want?"

"I want to be head wife. I have known you longer than any of those cum dumpster bitches."

Negan laughed, "Now, now, I love my wives. But, yeah. I will make the announcement. It's gonna piss off Cheryl she'll get over it. And to be honest. I already considered it. Since your son is my heir and all."

"About that. You can't keep my children away from their biological fathers. It's not right. And they deserve to know the other half of themselves."

Negan didn't like this at all and didn't bother trying to conceal it.

"I personally think they would be better off with just me. So, we'll see. Rick doesn't even know you are pregnant with his kid."

This was news to Daryl who genuinely looked shocked. And his son reacted the same.

_I didn't know they were fucking. While Michonne was fucking Carl, he was dicking Priyanka unless she is lying. But, why about that. She's all about power. So, she's telling the truth,_ Daryl determined.

"We both know you won't be able to stop yourself from snitching. This will defuse a lot of tension in the long run."

"You want me to be one big, happy family with this asshole?"

"He's my daughter's father in law and grandpa of her children and he's the father of my child so if you love me like you say you do then yes. I expect that."

Negan took a deep breath and said, "Fine. In time, I will get along with that fucker for your sake and the kids' sakes. Anklebiters come first."

"Also, do I always have to dress like this?" She said pulling at the short, black and lacy frock.

"Non-negotiable, babe. Think of it as an uniform. Plus, hot chicks in lbds keep me hard."

She sighed, "Fine. How about travel?"

"There's nowhere to go."

"Not true. Sometimes, I get hot feet and I have family elsewhere. You can't honestly expect me never to visit."

"I will bring them here. I told you that."

"She's not always going to want to come. Especially once gives she birth. She's not going to want to constantly leave her husband and her children including her fosters."

"I will say it again. I will bring them here even if I have to force her."

"She is not bringing her children here. I can guarantee you that. Force is not the way to go with her. She's been pushed around enough by older men. You got to make her think it's her idea to come."

"Like you let her think she's in charge?"

"She is. You should never underestimate anybody. That's a great way to end up dead," Priyanka said.

"Fine. Only if I am with you," he said.

"Duh."

"Anything else?"

"Give Daryl an apartment and let him help me in the kitchen. I could use a third set of hands," she said.

"You don't do that anymore. My wives don't work."

"Yeah. About that. That's not me. I have to be useful. A don't trust anyone else to cook for me. After you tell them I head wife, I am not going to be very liked. And I could care less."

This was a sound reason.

"I will do. Except Daryl. He has to earn his way into the kitchen and his own apartment. Dwight, since you and Feral Daryl here seem to be such homies since you shot him and all- you got a roommate effectively immediately."

Dwight took a deep breath. He wasn't ready to spend that much one on one time with his mother slash brother.

Daryl on the other hand had not been that excited since he his mastectomy and complete hysterectomy at the same time.

Dwight nodded and asked, "You need anything else?"

"Do you?" Negan asked Priyanka.

She shook her head no.

He dismissed them.

Now alone, Negan kissed her deeply and asked, "Happy?"

"What's that? I don't think it exists. Just something we made up to ensure we always feel inadequate. Have another reason to dislike ourselves and people who we think do have it."

"Are you intentionally trying to make my cock soft? That's a deeply depressing worldview."

"Half German. Depression is kind of our thing. We came up with schadenfreude. What do you expect?"

"For you to step out of that dress and onto your knees," he said grabbing at her.

"On my knees? Oi! I think not. You have to do it to me first. And not tonight. After we are wed. Good night," she left the room in a hurry lest he try to stop her.

However, Negan wouldn't dare.

This was the first time in years anyone made him work for it. He was loving every minute of it.

He called from Frankie to return. The whole time he was boning her, he was thinking of Priyanka.


	9. Chapter 9- Rick's Bad Day

Four weeks ago on the day they submitted to Negan.

They had been back the better part of an hour and Rick had just gotten out the shower. He was clad in a robe with dripping wet curls sticking to his face like finger waves.

He had just made himself and Judith a tomato fried egg sandwich when he heard a violent knocking on the door.

"Judy, stay here while I answer the door," he said before kissing her forehead.

"Don't go, daddy," Judith said reaching for him.

Though, she clearly didn't have a full grasp of what had transpired, she however realized that her mommy and daddy had been gone when she wanted them.

Michonne was in the shower weeping.

Anyway, judging by the banging, it was another disgruntled Pharaoh giving their unwarranted two cents about what should happen next. Let's just say they all had a particular set of skills.

He was half right.

It was Achilles.

Rick took a deep breath and was hesitant to let him in for two reasons.

He was not in the mood to deal with someone else's sadness or turmoil. He had his own sadness to revel in. He was never the type to truly care about anyone else's pain when he had his own.

And he was also guilty to see him.

He had literally betrayed him with Priyanka little more than thirty-six hours before.

Just as Rick was about to politely shoo him away, Achilles sucker punched him. He knocked Rick on his back causing him to expose himself to the young man.

Achilles noticed his dick and balls- the offending members- and was aboutzzz to stomp a mudhole in his ass when Rick scooted back in time and thought, _There's no way in fucking hell he knows about Priya and me._

Almost three years old, Judith heard the racket and decided to go take ma look.

When she saw her daddy on the ground, her Walsh genes kicked in and she ran right at Achilles screaming like a banshee in training, "Get off my daddy!"

She bit his ankle.

Achilles, not about to hurt a child. Knelt down and lightly tapped the top of her head to get her to let go.

When Carl and Jagadamba were two and three, they used to take turns biting the shit out of five, six year old him. They thought it was funny.

Judith let go. Then she kicked him over and over.

Rick jumped to his feet uncontrollably if not inappropriately laughing. He found the whole situation absurd.

"Judith, stop. Go back and sit down."

She nodded but not without kicking him on last time. She left a knot on his shin.

Usually, Rick only saw Lori when he looked at her- this was the first time had ever seen Shane.

While apart of him was proud and wistful about it, his alarm bells blared.

_I am going to have to watch that temper of hers, _he reminded himself.

Achilles was raring up to come at him again when Rick easily ran the young man twenty-three years his junior against the wall, forcibly twirling him around.

He put Achilles' right arm behind his back while the other was squished between his chest the wall and placed his own against the nape of the young man's neck so he couldn't move. Like he was about to handcuff him.

Achilles growled, "I wonder how many brothers like me you have hemmed up like this for less? Once a fucking pig, always a fucking pig, huh? Always trying to keep a black man down and a black woman on her back."

"Don't you fucking go there with me, young man. Thought I was going to call you boy. Fooled your ass.

I get it you are upset about Priya and Dare. Negan seemed to know her. I don't think he will hurt her or him."

"Hell, yeah, I am pissed. But, not just about that. I know what you and her did. Boy and the preacher man told me. They saw y'all."

Just when Rick thought the day couldn't possibly get any worse, enter Michonne.

"What the fuck, Rick?" She asked deeply confused by what she was seeing.

"Your nephew came in here and attacked me. Judith jumped in," Rick said.

Gobsmacked, Michonne asked, "What?"

Achilles chimed,

"What your piece of shit, podunk, dumbass, hardheaded, American cheese eating, peckerwood, thinks he's Wyatt Earp, motherfucking backstabbing boyfriend has neglected to mention is that he fucked my old lady two days ago. And he let my family get kidnapped."

It sounded so absurd to Michonne that she laughed loudly.

"You are my nephew and I love you. I know not having her here is painful. But, Negan knows her intimately because he knew Jagadamba is her daughter and in charge of the Pharaohs thus making her too valuable to kill.

Besides, Priyanka and Rick? That makes no sense. She calls him an idiot anytime she feels like it. She doesn't respect him-"

"You know respect ain't never stopped nobody from getting the dick or the pussy," Achilles interjected.

Michonne pressed on, "Who told you this? Rick, tell him this is bullshit."

Rick's heart was in his throat for the umpteenth time in one day. He just knew at the time nobody would ever know about their dalliance. How many times can a man be exposed in one day?

Rick answered, "He said it was Boyardee and Gabriel who saw us. They were on guard duty that night. It's not bullshit. It happened," he saw no reason to lie about it.

He wasn't ashamed per se but he wasn't exactly proud either.

Michonne knew she had no right to be but she was pissed. But, she was. More than that, she was hurt. So was Achilles.

The nineteen year old father let out a deep, guttural scream, "I thought you were my friend. I thought you were one of the good guys. I have nothing."

Rick let Achilles go. Just when he felt like he couldn't feel a bigger piece of shit.

Achilles had lost his vigor. Instead, he slumped defeated out the front door leaving it wide open.

Michonne closed it. Rick swore it sounded like jail bars clinging shut.

"Mic. I-"

"Don't. Just don't," she walked away from him and picked up Judith to put her down for a nap.

A child did not need to be present for what she was about to say.

Rick was half tempted not to be there when she came back down.

He had some clean clothes in the dryer and put those on.

He sat nervously on the couch.

Michonne was still dressed in her robe.

She stood in front of him.

"What do have to say for yourself?" She asked as calmly as possible.

He knew he could handle this one of two ways. He knew could be as humble as possible or be a dick about it.

"The way I see it, we are even." He decided to be an asshole.

Michonne's right eye twitched as she exclaimed, "Even? Even?!

I confessed to you what I had done. Not knowing if you would keep your word or not. Not knowing if you would turn violent. And that whole time, you sat there in judgement of me and you had just fucked my worst enemy.

My God. No wonder you were so nasty with me after your _conversation_ with her. Then we had sex. Did you even wipe her off your meat before you sank it in me?"

Rick knew answering that question was not going to help his cause. So, he remained silent.

Michonne continued, "That was before you knew one way or another. Wow. I am astounded. I had no idea you were such a fucking hypocrite."

"Was I in the wrong? Yes. I am. I am sorry you found out this way. Or at all. It just happened. It was a one time thing. Unlike you and my son. Maybe not today or tomorrow or even next year or the next ten but it will happen again. I know it will."

"Don't you dare turn this around on me. He and I were a one time thing, too. I was honest with you despite all the reasons not to be. Why? Why her? I mean. Another blonde, white bitch. Is that what you really into? Is that why you made Lori suffer? I have heard the stories about your indifference and passive aggression and not just from Carl. She was dark haired, dark eyed. I am black. Not just black but I am dark skinned. I can't help but wonder."

"What the actual fuck? I don't understand where this is coming from. Yeah, Jessie was blonde and so is Priya but so? Priyanka isn't white. She is half Indian. Was it a bad choice. Yes. Do I regret it? No. She was literally something I have wanted to do for awhile and the opportunity presented itself. Just like you and him."

"It was not as simple as that. You see, sometimes with you, I feel like I was simply the only one left. Like not special, just down the hall. Like it could have been anyone but I happened to be on the sofa that night."

"I don't understand. Why do you feel this way? You think that something as trivial as hair and skin color matter to me? I have given you no reason to think that."

"Haven't you? I remember what you said to Carl awhile back- that his love for his wife as well as the love you had for his _mom_\- was basically youthful exuberance. That she was beautiful and he was in love with that. Then you said we had a relationship built of stronger stuff. You said we weren't lust based on purely looks and daydreams. Why not? What is wrong about my looks? I like yours."

"I think, no, I know you are beautiful. I said that to him as a compliment to you, not as a platitude. I was telling him that _real _love; the love I thought we shared went a touch deeper than the infatuation he is in with his wife."

"Have mercy. You are oblivious. If you knew Carl at all, you would know he is incapable of infatuation. I don't know where he gets it from but he seems to be a dutiful, great big ball of love.

You want to know why I slept with him? It's because he makes me feel special. He has always chose me. I wasn't, I am not a consolation prize for him. I am the _prize._ He is willing to throw his life away to be with me. Only me. He told me and more importantly, made it clear to me that I am his dream girl.

You, on a good day make me feel like you are settling for me. Am I the first black chick you ever dated?"

Rick nodded then said, "I was never brave enough before. But, I didn't put that fear in Carl.

His first love- your niece- is a black girl. I don't care how light skinned she may be but Jagadamba is a black woman. That how the world, how I see her. You are the sexiest most beautiful, most unapologetically intelligent woman I have ever met. YOU rock my boat. I know you are better than me. So was Lori and Priya, too. I am grateful when a woman takes an interest in me unlike a lot of men. I don't feel like I am entitled to a woman. I am sorry I hurt you. All the time apparently."

Michonne wanted to ask him did he at least wear a rubber but she knew she would have to give a reply too if he asked in turn. She decided against it.

Rick asked, "What now? Do you still want to be with me? I want to work this out with you. Cause I know I have the best when it comes to you. Too bad you don't feel that way about me."

"I know who you are but I need time to think. Because you didn't just hurt me. You hurt my nephew. He's fragile like Nimrod was. I got to go be with him. Keep him alive. He looks so much like him. It's uncanny. I can't lose him again.

Only God knows how Jag is going to respond. Have you even been to see her?"

Rick shook his head no.

"Why not? She's your daughter in law. Your pregnant daughter in law. If you had seen her, you would know that she had been so scared for us that her hair on her right temple going all the way down turned white. She sort of looks like Gaia from Captain Planet or Rogue. And her hands are all cut up. I hate the way you treat her."

"You see, I feel sort of hateful at the moment. And defeated. You see she had a outpost in Richmond and didn't tell us squat about it."

"Really? I am not shocked. My brother played it close to the vest and her mom is an epic liar. So, you are angry at her? How did you even find out about it?"

"I am mad. Negan took it over. He told me it happened about three weeks ago.

I am not in the mood to deal with her right now. That girl has a gun for a mouth and a bullet with your name on it. She's going to say something out the way. Then I am going to respond back. Carl is gonna feel the need to defend her. I am going to overreact and so is he. Then we are going to say shit that we shouldn't. Might even come to blows. I am so angry with him for so many reasons.

Besides, you must not be that crazy about her as you say you are. You fucked her husband."

Michonne slapped him then got dressed and left.

She saw Achilles almost right away. He was with Elliott on her front porch crying into her arms. Elliott was broken up as well. After all, Daryl had been kidnapped, too.

"Oh, Mickey," Elliott reached out for her. Michonne embraced her.

"I am so sorry about Daryl. We'll gonna get him. Get them back," she clutched Achilles' hand.

"I just want my son. They can keep her. Enough is enough and too much stank," Achilles said.

"You say that now but as soon as you see her- you will only see the woman you love. Dare looks so much like her. There is no escape," Michonne said.

"I thought Rick was better than you know most people. He always seemed so true blue. Now, I am wondering about Carl. Apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. I am going to watch his Mad Eye Moody ass," Achilles only needed a reason to dislike Carl. Any would do.

"Don't drag him in this. He ain't got shit to do with it," Michonne said.

"I know. I don't like anybody named Grimes right now. Even the toddler kicked my ass. Shit hurt."

"Your sister is a Grimes," Michonne said.

"She abandoned me last night when I needed her. She can kiss my ass, too."

The three of them talked and comforted each other for over an hour before Achilles decided to go back to his house and be sad and angry there.

Michonne followed Elliott.

"I get it's the end of the world but why does everything have to be just so horrible?" Elliott asked pouring a glass of wine. She offered it to Michonne.

"It's too early for me."

"The past twenty-four hours? Live a little," Elliott insisted.

Michonne took it.

Elliott didn't bother with a glass, she drank it straight out the bottle.

"Let me get this straight, some Freddie Krueger looking assclown shot Daryl with an arrow?" Elliott cried.

"Yeah. Same asshole that killed Denise."

"Denise? I have heard of her? Didn't she save tripod?"

"She did. And don't call him that."

"I saw his dick. White boy packing heat. You owe me one. Not a dick but a solid."

"What did you do?"

Elliott thought, _Your niece, _but said, "I talked your niecie poo out of hating you last night.

She suspects you and her husband are fucking."

"Rick knows. And so does Rosita and Daryl."

"He knows and you are in one piece? He is a keeper. They don't make them like him. Everyone makes mistakes."

"He poked Priyanka. Her. I mean, really?"

"I know why you don't like her. But, you did sleep with his son. You could stand to be more forgiving."

"I know. Maybe if I get some sleep. Can I stay here?"

"Of course," Elliott nodded.

After thirty minutes, she had the guest room all done up while she told Michonne all about Enid and Bigelow.

She left out all the sex but she told her she had spent the night with the girl and they comforted each other.

But, Michonne knew her friend.

"Please tell me you didn't," Michonne said.

"Didn't what?"

"Did you sleep with my niece?" She had a disgusted look on her face.

Returning the glare, "Elliott replied, "Did you sleep with her husband?"

"Ugh. I might as well go home if I have to hear this out of you."

"Quit being so judgy like you are an innocent. It is annoying."

"It's just, it seems like everything is falling apart all at once. It's too much," she undressed down to her and lied down.

Elliott lied down behind her and asked, "If given the choice to make over again which one would you choose? Rick or Carl?"


	10. Ch 10- I'm Not in Control Anymore pt 1

It had been four weeks since they submitted to Negan.

Four weeks since Glenn and Abraham no longer had a future.

Four weeks since Daryl, Priyanka and Dare had been kidnapped.

Four weeks since anyone had seen or heard from Carol or Morgan. Hell, five weeks since anybody's heard from Tara and Heath.

Four weeks since Rick and Carl had really spoken to one another at length but that was probably for the best.

This is what happened during your preceding twenty-eight days. It is not necessarily in chronological order.

**Day 15**

Michonne and Rick wanted to work things out but it was slow going.

They tried to have sex but Rick had too much guilt and anxiety to get a proper erection. Michonne did magic tricks trying to get him there but no go.

As he apologized profusely, she simply turned her back to him and covered up her head and pretended to sleep.

She waited until he actually did go to slumber, too slip into her old bedroom and masturbate. Rick was not the star of her fantasies. The younger Mister Grimes was. She knew impotence wouldn't've been a problem with him.

Speaking of the white devil, as she so astutely surmised, the seventeen year had no such problem.

As a matter of fact, him and his bride lied breathless, sweaty and obscenely happy.

It was just after midnight. During those four weeks the two of them had truly gotten closer as a couple. He kept his word and was the best he could possibly be which was pretty damn good.

**Day One After Negan**

Jagadamba fainted falling forward into his arms when she saw him at their front door.

When she awoke and heard about her mother and brother and Abraham and Daryl's role in Glenn's death- let's say Carl wasn't the only one who disliked Rick. She blamed him for everything. With good reason.

Where as Negan now owned half their shit as he so eloquently put it, she had done the inverse.

She had given Alexandria and by extension Rick- all that she had to offer with the exception of Richmond which at that time, she had no idea Negan had seized.

Everything she had worked for and fought for and sacrificed was going to belong to some despotic asshole who was doing God knows what to her mother and brother.

In public, she hid this fact. She showed solidarity with Rick. She knew the last thing the community needed was a schism.

**Day Three After the Lineup**

It became obvious even to Rick that a town hall was needed.

Many of the Pharaohs and a handful of the Safe-zoners wanted to hunt the Saviors down and kill them by any means necessary.

While others simply wanted to comply and keep their lives and the lives of their loved ones.

Jagadamba didn't agree with either side. She knew she had to obtain more info first. Not to beat a dead horse, Negan had possession of two her closet relations.

After Rick made the announcement that he was no longer in charge- there was an uproar.

One Pharaoh proclaimed, "You punk ass motherfucker."

Another person, an Alexandrian exclaimed, "Deanna never would have let this happen!"

Several others yelled similar things, to which Father Gabriel interjected, "We are all upset. But, this discourse is not helping. We have to come to terms with the fact we are under siege.

It's no one's fault."

Achilles stood up and exclaimed, "You're wrong, preach. It's that goofy, white, stupid motherfucker's fault. All he had to do was listen to me and my sister. To common sense. He's a fool. Utter defeat is what happens when you let a fool rule. Have you forgotten King Saul in the Bible? When you don't kill them all- you are fucked."

People cheered. Others jeered. The young Mr. and Mrs. Grimes among them.

"I know you are angry but this is still a church. No swearing in here. Use your proper words," Gabriel said.

Someone shouted, "Properly go eat a dick!"

Carl and Jagadamba were in the front row. Neither were amused by what was going down.

Jagadamba took initiative and stood up and went to the piano. Something she was a virtuosic at.

She sat down and began to play a perfect rendition of the intro of the Boomtown Rats song, I Don't Like Mondays. This was also one of Priyanka's favorite songs. Her mother was constantly on her mind.

This quieted the rabble.

She began to speak but kept playing albeit softly.

She knew music was a good psychological tool when saying words you want people to remember. This was why whenever a character has a rousing speech in a movie or television show there's sweeping score in the back to stick the landing.

"What my father in law is saying is at the moment, we are no longer free. We are under the umbrella of a tyrant for now. And for now it is our best bet to obey them for now. And bide our time as long we have to. Now's not the time to fight back. We know too little about their location and their full capabilities. We don't know their numbers. Nothing. Our only responsibilities right now are keeping our growing families safe.

This is not cowardice. It's our only smart play.

And, Dad, I know this is for the best. And I want you to rest assured that we Pharaohs are standing by your side. That we are going to do nothing in retaliation without your explicit say so. We either stand together or we fall together. Isn't that, right?"

She quit playing and sat back down beside her husband.

Carl was proud of her. He kissed her cheek causing her blush.

He then whispered in her ear, "You are a bigger person than me. Kinda nice to see people hold him responsible for once."

Her being a bigger person was in reference to the fact that Rick had not been to see her since he returned even though from Enid's own mouth, Rick visited her everyday.

"He's their grandpa. I can't hate him. You can't either. He's your dad. If I don't hate my mom, you can't hate your dad."

"I don't. I just wish. . . I wish. I can't really verbalize It right now," he wished he had never acted on his feelings for Michonne. They had always been a source of pain.

Rick had followed Jagadamba with his eyes and was troubled by what she said even though he made it a point to look touched. A part of him was touched.

What she said came from a real place of love. But, he didn't see it that way. He was still upset about the secret of Richmond.

He still didn't fully believe she was on his side. Plus, his anger with Carl colored his judgment, too. He did not trust his son as far as he could throw him.

Michonne, Rosita, Gabriel, Enid, Eugene and even Spencer among others heard it the same way.

The meeting went on for another hour or so.

Regardless of how he felt, he used what she said to his advantage speaking with authority again with ease, basically paraphrasing Jagadamba.

He also told everyone to find things in their homes that they didn't mind parting with.

"We need to make this painful transition as easy as possible on ourselves. This is our new normal now. We have to comply. It's like my little girl said, it's our best course of action."

Jagadamba cringed when he called her that. Even during the meeting he hadn't so much as made eye contact with her.

Carl was aware of this, he whispered in her ear, "He is so full of shit."

"Tell me about it."

Another ten minutes passed.

It was over.

Jagadamba tried to talk to Achilles. He rebuffed her. He saw her as wanton traitor. A fucking Grimes.

Eugene saw Rosita and Spencer talking. Both looked rather serious. Eugene slid in between them and said, "Am I the only one who listened to the ingenue's rhetoric? Was she backing up fearless leader or declaring-"

"Declaring she in charge? She said we Pharoahs. Not we Alexandrians or Alexandrians and Pharaohs. She was telling us what we need to do. And I have to admit. It makes sense," Spencer admitted.

Rosita scoffed, "You weren't there. He was merciless."

Spencer asked, " Was he? He could have killed you all. He killed two of you? Y'all killed how many of his people? Fifty? Sixty?"

Eugene rolled his eyes and walked away while Rosita punched him and said, "You don't know shit."

"I know when my mom and dad were alive this shit didn't happen. We were as safe as houses until dumbass took over. Look at what he has done. All the people that have died under his watch. There used to be over a hundred of us. Nearing two. Now it's barely fifty-five of us. That is until Jagadamba brought her people in.

And let's face it, she couldn't possibly do a worse job than him," Spencer absolutely felt this way.

"If your mom had been in charge, we would have been sitting ducks. At, we were proactive. More than I can say about your coward ass. You don't lift a finger to do anything."

"And what you guys did so much good. I wonder what Glenn and Abraham think. I will go ask them. Oh, wait," he said cruelly.

To refrain from murdering him, Rosita exited.

Michonne approached Jagadamba. She had not spoken to her since the day of their return.

"Thank you for talking up for Rick," Michonne said sweetly wanting to gage her reaction.

"It was the right thing to do for the community, Michonne," Jagadamba said flatly as she avoided looking at her.

This was the first time she had not addressed her as aunt before.

Michonne commented on it.

To which, Jagadamba replied, "You're are my first cousin once removed, second cousin at best. Aunts do not do what you did. And let's leave it at that unless you want me to loudly go into detail about you and my husband!" She shouted the last two words.

"Not necessary," Michonne walked away feeling like a hot, maggoty piece of trash.

**Back to Day One**

The day Carl returned, he and his wife agreed they were going to be completely honest with each other.

She had drawn him a bath because well, he stank after have been forced to urinate on himself more than once and musty from fear and anger. His knees were swollen twice their size from being prone on them for so long.

Carl began to speak as his wife as she washed his back and played with his hair. She was so grateful he was alive.

He began to speak.

". . . when I saw Glenn lose his life. I knew how easily that could have been me. His kid is never going to know him. Glenn was a really good man."

"He was."

"A better one than my dad and me."

"There's nothing wrong with you."

"That's a lie. You don't have to pretend you aren't mad at me. I left without so much as kissing you bye or writing you a letter. Something I had no right to do."

"It was shitty. And I am mad. I am hurt. I don't want to do this without you.

Why did you leave? Why risk your life? What was so fucking important you took yourself away from us? Away from me."

"Who. I left because I wanted to find Michonne," he admitted.

"Why? She's _my_ aunt. On paper anyway. She's my cousin by blood. She should mean next to nothing to you."

Tears began to fall from his eye.

"I love her almost as much as I love you. Until, I saw Glenn die, I think I loved her just a teeny bit more. I am-"

"If the next words out of your mouth is sorry, I may drown you. You aren't sorry. You fucked her last week. Didn't you?"

"You broke up with me. We thought we were going to die. Yes. Yes, I did."

"I fucking knew it. I fucked Elliott last night," she blurted. She didn't say it to hurt him exactly but lying seemed pointless.

"While you thought I was dying you were getting laid? And with him?"

"Her. Trust me. She is a lady in full," she said lasciviously.

He offhandedly said, "We're both terrible people. Awesome."

"Just one of many things we have in common.

Anyway, I have an outpost in Richmond. If you and Rick and the trifling whore hadn't been here; there's a distinct possibility we would taken this place over by force."

"I kinda figured that the first day," he hunched.

"How so?" She asked incredulously.

"The men you had hidden around the property. You have to stakeout a place at least a week or so to know their routine and know when they change their guard to put your people in place. So, how long?"

"Ten days. We even took surveillance. Boyardee and Jonathan got in unnoticed through the woods. Squatted in this very house. When I say you guys need to pay attention and be on high alert. That's no joke. You are all so very complacent. Why haven't you said something before now?"

"I kinda did. When I told you that you had to fall in line or nothing. Besides, you were letting me have sex with you and I didn't want to mess that up," Carl smiled.

She playfully punched him.

"You are a cad. Oddly enough, I think saw you and your dad in the surveillance footage. I thought I was crazy. As far I knew Rick had died in that hospital in Atlanta. I saw you but I didn't want to get my hopes up. Plus, your eye injury. I just thought I had you on the brain. I figured I would never see you again. Then ta-da."

"So, You knew I was here."

"Allegedly."

"Don't feel bad. I felt you. I dreamt about you. I actually talked about you out loud and that had been something I refused to do. Talking about you meant you weren't around. And that was too much to bear. I would go looking for you. I never got far because of my folks. I recognized before I saw you."

"What? How?"

"Your voice. I heard you talk crazy to Sasha. Like you, I thought I was nuts. I love you, Alice Jagadamba Boudica Chowdhury- Richter- Anthony- Grimes."

Jagadamba blushed and said, "Enough about me. Tell me about you and my cousin."

He told her all about Michonne starting from their first kiss, the infirmary, up against the tree, the farmhouse, all of it. He even admitted that he was the aggressor.

You which his wife asked, "Were you? She's older than you. She can think circles around you."

"I was. I should have left well enough alone. I wish I had. Her love hurts. Love isn't supposed to do that. Your love doesn't hurt. You are proud to be with me. We don't have to hide. I love you. I loved you first and I will you last. More than that, I am going to love you right."

Trying her best not to be insulted she asked, "Pray tell, what does right constitute to you?"

"I broke our vows yesterday. I put someone before you. I won't ever do that again.

I could see Glenn's brains and his eye was hanging out its socket and through sheer will power, the grace of God or his soul or some combo of- he said, "Maggie, I will always find you.

He was effectively dead and she was the last thing on his mind. Even in death, his only thought was of her. And I couldn't help but think what excuse do I have not to do the same? In reality, all we have is each other. We can't rely on our parents especially since we have a family of our own. Nobody is more important than you and our children. I am sorry I lost sight of that," Carl said truly remorseful.

Jagadamba believed him. Or least she wanted to.

"No one's ever put me first before. Okay. I will put you first, too. I broke our vows, too. I forgive you. You forgive me?"

"I do."

"Clean slate?"

"Clean slate."

The young couple kissed. They were more levelheaded than most of the adults in their lives.

**Back to the third day**,

Jagadamba resumed her place by Carl's side and they lingered talking to the people as they left.

Soon, only Rick, Michonne, Carl, Jagadamba and Gabriel were left.

Rick spoke first, "That was just the worst. Damn, that was so hard. Thanks.

I had lost control of the crowd. I didn't have a lot vim going into it. So, thank you."

She hunched her shoulders as Carl wrapped his arms around her and placed his hands on growing her growing bump claiming her as he looked Michonne dead not the eye.

Rick then asked optimistically, "Want to have lunch? I made some chicken salad before I left. I figured I would be wiped out after this."

Carl and Jagadamba asked each other with their eyes.

She nodded.

"Thanks. We, uh, would love to. But, uh, could you come to our house? It would be easier. Not really in the mood to wrangle up the children," Carl said while really thinking,

_I can throw them out if they say something ignorant to my wife. _

They agreed.

Thirty minutes passed.

While Jagadamba got the children cleaned up for lunch, Carl stayed behind and enlisted Tomeka to help his dad and Michonne set up.

"Whose genius idea was it to put eggs and nuts and apples in chicken salad? Just keep some shit simple," Tomeka said complained not digging the way it smelled.

Feelings a little hurt, Rick pouted, "I made it. It's a family recipe."

Tomeka melted upon seeing this and said, "Oh, then I am sure it is real good then."

Both Carl and Michonne sniggered at this. They knew how much the girl liked Rick. They made eye contact and smiled.

Rick noticed and got Michonne's attention by asking her some bullshit question. Carl shook his head and left.

Fifteen minutes passed.

Rick encouraged everyone to dig in but Carl interrupted him, "Ugh, we say grace before we eat in this house. If you ever visited you would know."

Jagadamba smirked and clutched Carl's thigh. He winked at her.

Rick calmly responded, "Since you are man of the house."

Carl then responded diplomatically, "That's true but you are the patriarch. You should do it."

Rick let a proud, little grin quirk his full, pink lips.

"Well, shit. I guess I am," he drawled.

Jagadamba interjected, "Yep. You're the paterfamilias. As the second Mrs. Grimes, it's a shame the first Mrs. Grimes isn't with us. She would have been a real matriarch. I am sorry you don't have her to share this with."

This of course was a dig at Michonne.

Rick usually would've taken up for his girlfriend but at the moment, he couldn't muster the effort and instead said grace.

The slight did not go unnoticed by the quartet.

Michonne felt hurt, Carl insulted he was so oblivious to her feelings and Jagadamba let out a small but satisfied chuckle as he prayed.

Tomeka felt the tension. It was so thick it was like breathing in honey.

Soon, they began to dig in.

It became apparent right away something was wrong with the food.

First one to say so was Carly-Jayne.

"This tastes the way dookie smells!" She immediately began spitting it out.

The chicken breasts had turned before Rick cooked it, leaving the meat both bitter and rancid tasting.

The meat had been sticky and funky when he cooked it.

But having had dealt with poultry before- he assumed rinsing it would be enough.

"Did you even taste it was while you were preparing it? The rot is so apparent," Jagadamba admonished making sure Marco, Ana, Judith and Carly-Jayne had either spat the offending meal out or insuring they had not touched it.

Rick watched genuinely shocked

This was the explanation he offered, "I tasted everything but the meat. I mixed all the other ingredients first and added the meat last as not to agitate the meat too much. Keep it whole. That's how my mama and my nan used to do it," Rick said defeatedly.

_I can't do shit right, _he thought feeling weepy.

Carl shook his head in disgust as he thought the same thing.

Tomeka took pity on him and began to collect the plates. Michonne helped.

Then Jagadamba said, "Carl made some veggie lasagna last night. We were going to eat the rest for supper but now is good too. I'll go put it on. It's really good."

She got up to do it.

Meanwhile, Michonne and Tomeka were busy throwing away the rancid chicken salad.

Jagadamba came into the kitchen.

Michonne saw and said, "I am so sorry about lunch. Let us make it up to you. I can whip up some vegetable lasagna. It'slike, like my fricking specialty."

If fire could have shot out Jagadamba's eyes, her kinswoman would have been nothing but a charred pile of ash and bone fragments.

"Well, what do you know? _My_ husband made some last night. I am in here to heat it up."

_He still has that black ass bitch on the brain, _Jagadambathought frowning and little irritated.

"I taught him how to make it. I have taught him a lot of things," Michonne smugly said unafraid of confrontation.

Again, if looks could kill, Jagadamba threw the lasagna, Pyrex glass tray included in the trash all while thinking fuck you, bitch repeatedly.

Michonne snorted and collected the tray out the trash. Dumping out the lasagna since he had been contaminated.

Tomeka watched it all and thought, _They are fighting about what?_

They ended up eating potatoes and eggs for lunch.

They talked small talk and played nice for the sake of the children.

All four of them were seething on the inside.

An hour passed.

The kids left with Tomeka to go play. Rick and Michonne volunteered to straighten up.

As the water ran, Michonne whispered to Rick, "Her speech at the church. Thoughts."

"Sour Patch Kid," Rick said feeling clever.

"Aww. You mean how she slick took over and pretended to be taking up for you."

"We Pharaohs."

"Yeah. So, now what?"

"Let her know without Richmond, she has no leverage. She's an Alexandrian."

"More than that. As she so bitchily pointed out, she's the second Mrs. Grimes. She's borrowing _your_ last name. Carrying _your_ grandbabies. She's her mother's child. She thinks too much of her herself.

All bullshit aside, she needs to be put in her place. You got to quit being so scared of her little high yellow ass."

"I am not. I didn't want to push Carl away. But, that ship sailed when we got together. Before that. When his Mom died.

I could have been there for him more. I figured he had Hershel, Maggie, Beth and Daryl and Glenn. Especially Herschel. Then he had you.

I fucked up. But, I am not letting a child I help learn how to read talk to me like I am Joe Sausagehead. She ain't winning this one."

Meanwhile, Jagadamba asked Carl about the lasagna.

He copped to it.

"Why did you make the lasagna?" She asked.

"Easy recipe. No more, no less."

"Sure it's not because you miss her?"

"She was my only friend for years. Of course, I miss her like I used to miss you," he admitted.

Jagadamba folded her arms.

"I don't know if I like all this fucking honesty," she grumbled.

Five minutes passed.

The four of them sat in silence.

Carl and Jagadamba held hands and made eye contact while Michonne and Rick sat with their arms folded looking in opposite directions.

Rick annoyed with their mild pda broke the silence.

"Jag, I know I haven't been to see you in a couple days. I bet you are wondering why," he said taking deep breaths.

"I have noticed but it's no big. I know you have a lot on your plate. I understand," she said.

Carl scoffed, "Don't play it off. Tell him what you tell me. Tell him how it hurts you that he has breakfast with my ex but he can't even be bothered to come say hi to you. Enid is a stranger to you compared to her, Dad."

"That's where you're wrong, son. I don't know shit about you, Jagadamba. I don't think anyone does but your inner circle."

"Is this about you and my mom? Sounds like you are deflecting. Carl gets that from you. I am breaking him of that.

Anyway, cause if is, I don't care. I think it's kinda funny in a Band Candy sort of way. Not to mention karmic," she said the latter looking right at Michonne.

Carl asked, "Band Candy?"

"We watched it a couple days ago. Third season of Buffy when Snyder makes all the student body sell band candy. And when all the adults eat it- they repress back to their teenage selves. And Giles and Buffy's mom end up boning on top of police car."

"Oh, yeah. Ethan Rayne and infant sacrifice. Good times."

"Nah. What happened afterwards was good times," she said this to be obnoxious. All they did was go to sleep.

"Uh, I think you and should go for a walk. Alone. We have things we need to discuss," Rick said seriously.

"Sounds ominous," Jagadamba said smiling a smile that looked more like a dog bearing its teeth than a polite gesture.

"Wait, I think I know what this is about. Is this about Richmond?" Carl asked.

Rick's mouth flew open.

"You fucking knew? And said nothing?" Rick asked.

"I just found out. She kept it secret to protect us."

"I call bullshit. Why not tell us?" Michonne asked.

"It's called strategy. Something you all seem to be allergic to," Jagadamba replied.

"Really? You manage with the help of your momma and them to win one battle and you act like you are Alexander the Great," Michonne said rolling her eyes.

"He was a teenager the first time he conquered. Then it became a habit. There are worst ones to have. Like say, constantly losing people because you are hardheaded and don't like to listen. Believe it or not, that is not the norm."

"Is that what you were doing earlier? Conquering? Carl wasn't enough? You want Alexandria, too?" Rick replied making it even more personal.

Carl spoke up before she could, "I pursued her. Let's get that straight. She took up for you. You were dying out there. It was pathetic."

"We Pharaohs. Why did you say it like that? Why did you choose that Bob Geldolf song? Felt like we were being undermined," Michonne said defending her man.

"The Pharaohs have been badgering me about what to do. They want to depose him, you, and make a deal with Negan but I don't want to do that. I just really want to be the best a wife and a mommy I can be. Let you do all the heavy lifting.

And as for that song. It's your side piece's favorite song. Been stuck in my head. Shitty thing what you did to Chill. He's being a butt to me because of you. You're just proof no man no matter how good isn't exempt from thinking with his cock. So, thanks for that, _Dad_," Jagadamba said eating ice. Then it occurred to her, "Wait. Who told you about Richmond? It was Bigs, wasn't?"

Rick said with more satisfaction than he meant to, "Negan."

Both Carl and Jagadamba looked at each other in shock then realization then anger. Red, hot anger.

Carl busted from his seat and turned his back to them.

Jagadamba felt her rage roar up her toes to her temples. If she had superpowers she would have been Storm dropping a tornado on his ass.

"You childish, dirty motherfucker. Negan took over my outpost and you didn't see fit to come tell me? How could you? I knew you hated me but this is too much. How many dead?"

"Five."

Jagadamba let a scream so guttural, that it actually cracked the glass in front of her.

Carl turned and embraced her as tears seemed to pour out if all her orifices.

Carl mouthed to Michonne, "Did you know?"

She nodded.

He looked at his father and Michonne and said, "Get the fuck out my house and keep doing what you been doing and stay the fuck away from us. I hate you. I hate you both."


	11. Ch 10- What about the Children? pt 2

**This is part two of the first thirty days after Negan.**

**Day 27- The Chosen Few**

"Why does that Lara Croft looking British bitch get to leave the Sanctuary with you tomorrow to go to Richmond and the rest of us wives don't?" Asked Shanika, Negan's fourth wife.

Negan nimbly replied, "Next time your teenaged daughter is in charge of a vicious fringe group; then I will bring you along on an excursion. Until then, do what you do best. Be fucking smoking hot and do that nasty little thing with your tongue."

She resentfully complied. Negan knew his _wives _consent was dubious at best.

But, he assuaged any of his own qualms about it by affording them the title of wife and allowing those special few select privileges other Saviors simply weren't offered. He considered sexual congress with himself a privilege. Most of his wives would emphatically disagree. If they could.

**Day Eight- Sixth of July**

Two days before, Jagadamba and Carl and about twenty others- a mixture of Pharaohs and Alexandrians which included Spencer, Rosita and Aaron went to Richmond.

Ms. Espinosa and Mrs. Anthony-Grimes fucked around and had a conversation in Spanish and discovered they liked each other.

"You speak Spanish with a better Latina accent than me," Rosita marveled. Plus, truth be told, Rosita knew about Carl and Michonne- she figured she could use a friend.

Jagadamba explained, "In addition to being an evil piece of shit, Galen was also basically a world class vocal and singing coach as well as a musician. He was a sailor, too. My daughter's innate obsession with the ocean and pirates and now she wants to learn how to play instruments. It unsettles me. I can see glimmers of him in her. And they never even met."

"Genetic memory. I could see and smell my grandparents escape from Sinaloa like I was there. It happens. Don't be afraid. Its probably just a phase," Rosita tried to reassure her.

"I hope so."

"Wait. Aren't you a musician? You played the shit out of that piano the other day."

"Yes."

"Well, maybe she wants to be more like you."

"Again. I hope so."

Back to now, a hoard of walkers made the two hour trip into a treacherous five and a half hours long but they returned three days later with the remainder of her people and the rest of her supplies.

They numbered in the low fifties, all able-bodied adults.

Before leaving, she and had her subjects set the place on fire. She knew it may not have the smartest move but she wanted Negan to know leader to leader that she hated him even though Carl advised her against it.

Her response was, "What's he gonna do? Kill seven of my people? Yes, I am including Abraham and Glenn. Kidnap my brother and mother?"

Upon returning, Rick was pissed about the influx and the fact she didn't ask him if it was okay.

"The Pharaohs don't exist anymore, remember? They are Alexandrians so I brought them home," she said when saw Rick fuming at the gate. He noticed she smelled like smoke.

This argument was sound. He decided to take a step back and look at it through her eyes. He decided he probably would have done the same thing. He even decided he was proud of her.

Later, that evening, he got her alone and told her so.

"What makes you think I give a hot damn?" She asked with arms folded.

"I have known you since you stopped at my kneecap. We are family and that matters to you. It matters to me.

You and I are a lot of like. Stubborn know it all's who think we know best. And to our credit sometimes we do. And other times, we do not."

"Carl said that about us earlier. Said that's why we can't get along. I wanted to punch him."

"I am sorry I have been less than kind to you. I want to call a truce. In fact, I was wondering if you would come over? And me and you talk. Michonne is at Elliott's. Rosita's got Judith. How about it?"

She nodded.

She wanted to be a part of a complete family and moreover she did love Rick and wanted him to approve of her. She had deep need to be liked.

They talked cordially for an hour.

". . . May I?" Rick asked wanting to touch her belly.

She blushed and nodded.

She took his hand and put it on the bottom of her stomach.

"Wow. It's hard and a little round. My grandbabies. Wow. Just wow," he teared up.

"I know, right? I have never shown this quickly before. I am excited and -cough- scared," she continued coughing. Her morning sickness was coming on.

Twenty minutes later, Rick brought her a cool towel as she dry heaved into the bowel.

He began half-heartedly singing I Don't Like Mondays to her. She laughed as he caressed her head.

It subsided but they remained in the bathroom. She had laid her head on his lap. And he continued to rub her hair and kept singing to her. He had moved onto It Keeps You Running by the Doobie Brothers.

"You have a nice voice. It's soothing," she said feeling safe. A feeling she sought above all others.

"That's a huge compliment coming from you. Your voice is angelic. It matches your face."

"Aww. Stop it, handsome. Carl is you in forty years."

"Goddamn, girl, how the hell old do you think I am? I am forty-two," he scoffed with laughter.

"Everyone over the age of thirty looks the same to me," she teased.

"Oh, I can't wait until it's your turn and Carly-Jayne makes you feel ancient."

"She already has. The other day, me, her and Carl were watching The Land of the Lost. And she asked us did we ever have pet dinosaurs? Before I could respond, Carl said we did. We called him Tyrone and be had itty-bitty baby arms. Then he impersonated one and chased her and Ana through the house. He made the noises and everything. He is so good with them. He is a natural dad. He gets that from you. I love you, Rick.

Daddy.

You are some of the only family I have left. There's a reason some of my hair turned white. I was angry with you because not only did I almost lose my husband but I almost lost you too because of you. I am not a stupid baby. You are my family. And whether you want to deal with it or not, I know shit."

"You are my daughter. From now on, I will treat you as such. And will respect you more," then Rick said jokingly, "Now go make me a sammich, girl-child. Post haste."

"Ham or turkey. I owe you a sammich," she smiled.

Then they laughed and got quiet.

She said moments later, "This is nice."

"It is," he agreed.

"I mean it's nice being around an older man who doesn't want to shove his dick in me."

"I would literally cut it off and eat it raw first. If we were the last two people alive then the human race would just be dead."

"I get it. You don't have to be insulting about it but yeah. Pretty much."

They laughed then silence.

She broke it, "Why did you assume the worst of me?"

"It may have skipped your notice but as of late people are usually at their worst. And I was seeing enemies everywhere. You have always been a bit ruthless when you wanted something."

"I am not ruthless. Determined and maybe a little cruel. You're very cruel."

"When I have to be. But, being honest, I was upset because I found out from an adversary and not you. He knows a lot about you. Clearly, he knew your mom pretty well. He knew you were her daughter and your birth name is Alice."

"Of course her ex is the absolute fucking worst. The only time she ever exhibited good taste in men is when she boned down my dad and Achilles. Granted doesn't say much."

"So, I am chopped liver?"

"You may have agape for her but you don't love her like they do and did."

Without thinking Rick said, "I don't know. I would have agreed with you a week or so ago but after learning about what she went through to stay relevant in your life, couple that with being physical with her- I have only been with four women. I take sex seriously. I-"

"Bullshit. No way a face that pretty and a body that tight is that virtuous. Your son didn't get that gene. He's moral but not virtuous."

"I had only ever been with Lori until she died. I was truly disturbed when she passed. Shane effectively killed her. That's why it took me so long to fall in love with the murder weapon."

"Wow. You just called a baby a murder weapon. But, I get it."

"You don't. I loved them both and they betrayed me. Well, maybe you do know."

"I loved Galen. I did. I considered him a play uncle. More than that, I thought he was so handsome. If he had waited a couple years, I might have voluntarily had sex with him. He didn't have to do what he did. I truly believe that he was going to murder me if Bigelow had not showed up.

Cortez was horribly abusive but I loved him for a time. Then when he found out our beautiful little boy wasn't perfect- you know the rest. He'll be three soon," she began to weep for her son.

Rick brought her up into his arms and cradled her like a baby.

"This is no comfort but I knew your pain for six months. When I thought Judith was dead, it gutted me. I had never felt anything like that except when I almost lost Carl twice. He got light when I ran with him. All I could see was my newborn. My beautiful son."

"You're trying to relate to me. That is a comfort," she nuzzled him.

When glanced down at her, all her saw was the two year old girl that she used to be- all cherubic with almond shaped eyes and ebony curls she constantly threw from her face.

"You are such a sweet thing when you want to be.

Anyway, getting back to Judith, I didn't know how much I loved her until I lost her.

I felt something similar when I saw Negan take your mother, it took my breath away and my heart skipped a beat. I realized then I had feelings for her."

"Dude, no offense, but you got to nip that shit in the bud. I don't want my husband to become my stepbrother, too.

But, I have to admit, the two of you would make a fantastic looking couple. Like Brangelina."

"Your mother kinda looks like Angelina Jolie. A lot like her. When she was in Mr. And Mrs. Smith. Can't get much more beautiful than that.

Except for Michonne. I think she's exquisite."

"I guess if you're into that sort of thing."

"Hair, eyes, lips, breasts, ass and legs?"

She elbowed him.

He laughed. She laughed, too.

Then Rick said, "When is his birthday?"

"Twenty-sixth of July. So two weeks and six days from now."

"Want to throw him a party? I know it sounds macabre but my mom used to throw one for my dead identical twin, Marshall. He only lived a day. His heart didn't form right."

"There would have been two of you.

You'd do that for me?"

"Yes."

Then they grew silent for a minute.

Jagadamba eventually asked, "Do you like me?"

"I love you."

"I didn't ask you that. I love Priyanka but I don't like her worth a damn. Do you like me? I like you sometimes."

"I like you right now."

"I will settle for that."

"Cool."

"How can I get along with you better?" She asked.

"Be upfront. Ask me before you make decisions that affect everyone. Quit calling me out of my name. Don't be so arrogant. What can I do for you?"

"You need to pay heed to other opinions. Forget how old I am and respect the fact I am just as much of a leader as you are. I am a parent, just like you are. And your son is, too. You do mean for him to take over one day, right?"

"Who else?" He sighed still rather upset with him.

Jagadamba took a deep breath and asked, "Why aren't you and my husband talking?"

"I think you know."

"Oh. I am surprised you do. Because you haven't kicked her, the Grinch that Stole blackness ass to the curb."

"Don't talk about her like that. You're better than that."

"Am I? Carl has betrayed me just like every other man in my life but with two stark differences. He never did anything to me against my will and he asked my forgiveness.

I can forgive him easily because I was guilty, too.

We are working through it. We have babies. We have no right to just give up without trying.

But, you and Michonne don't have that problem. You can make a clean break."

"Judith sees her as Momma. I am not taking that from her. And besides we love each other. And I understand why it happened."

"Because they are selfish assholes who gave us no thought when they wantonly betrayed us?"

"Well, that too. But, it's my fault."

"You take responsibility for the wrong shit. You don't control her pussy or his dick. Their love for us should've stopped them cold but it didn't. That's what chafes the most."

Rick said quietly, "I don't want to talk about it anymore."

Jagadamba moved on.

"I would have been angry with me too if I found out something that important through a foe. I am sorry I kept the Hilton a secret."

"I am over it. We have to get along. We are family. We're all we have," Rick playing with her hair.

"Speaking of family. Today's the sixth of July."

"So?"

"It's Michonne's birthday. She may be worst aunt and girlfriend ever but no one deserves to be forgotten on their birthday. Let's make that pretty bitch a cake or something."

"You sound so much like Bushrod when you talk. I swear," they went to the kitchen.

As he mixed the batter and she passed him the ingredients.

Rick had to ask, "Why do you smell like smoke?"

"I took everything of value out the hotel and set the hotel on fire."

"And Carl was okay with this?"

"It wasn't up to him. That motherfucker took things from me and I want him to know I didn't like it. What he did to you but with fire."

Rick immediately felt uneasy about this.

"Jagadamba. Why? I know you have a temper. But, you essentially did what I did and poked the bear."

"No. I didn't. He needed to know I am not a some figurehead. That I am a queen for lack for a better word."

"Leader would have been a good choice."

"Shut up," she pouted.

He laughed.

She continued to speak, "Also, he needed to know I am not just the kid of the woman he used to bang. I am sure there will be consequences. I can take it. But, I somehow doubt he will retaliate. He sees something in you. He doesn't want to overly piss you off. Hurting your pregnant daughter in law would do just that. That's why he wants you to feel small because he knows you're better than him. He knows with the right confidence and support you could kick his natural ass."

Rick still feeling rightfully low replied, "I don't know, Jag. You weren't there. He was merciless."

"Not true. He was merciful and that will be his undoing. I would have killed you all. That's biblical. God told Saul to kill them all and he didn't. He paid the price. That's how David got the chance to be king. That's why when time comes you'll be king. "

Rick felt surprised she had given it, given him so much thought. And a little weary of her willingness to murder though he was guilty o the same.

"You think that much of me? You think I can overcome this?"

"Of course, you can. You're Rick fucking Grimes. You can do anything."

**Day 22- Heartbeats**

Carl, Enid, Bigelow, Michonne, Judith, Carly-Jayne, Ana and Marco were all in the RV with Rick at the helm. They were headed to the Hilltop for ultrasounds and checkups.

Tomeka elected to stay home. She seldom ever got to revel in solitude. Plus, it was her thirteenth birthday.

Carl wanted to drive them originally but Rick insisted.

"No way, I am letting my whole family leave here without me. I am not tempting fate like that," the father of two and expectant grandfather of three said.

Carl tried to object using the worst possible argument.

"You don't trust me to go to point a and point b and back? You think I am incapable of protecting them? You think I am that irresponsible?"

"I just would rather be there. You need me rather you want to admit it or not. I am still your dad. I know you are reckless and irresponsible."

"I'm irresponsible? You served us rotten food. My kids coulda gotten food poisoning. You waited three days to tell us about Richmond," Carl had been outwardly aggressive with his dad since that afternoon even though Jagadamba and his dad had clearly made up.

So, much so, she interjected, "Carl, it was a harmless mistake. Like you're Mister Perfect? The other day, he literally burnt water."

Rick laughed his hyena laugh.

Carl rolled his eyes.

He scoffed and said bitterly, "Fine. I forgot the two of you are in wuv now. Butter won't melt in the other's mouth."

Rick snorted, "You bitch when she and I don't get along. Now we are cool and you're tetchy about that too.

There is no pleasing you. Out of all the wonderful traits you have inherited from your mom, must you revel in her most negative one? Sometimes, you got to take the win. Don't focus on what you don't have. Focus on what you do."

Carl and anybody who was listening knew Rick wasn't merely talking about their relationship or driving them to the Hilltop.

Carl took a deep breath and curbed the attitude and said, "You're right. Thanks. One less thing I have to do. I am just a little resentful you heard their heartbeats before me."

"Well, let's get a move on and see about changing that," Rick said.

Before he started the camper up, Jagadamba tapped him on the shoulder and said, "Thank you for saying that to him."

"It's true."

Two hours passed.

"Why with the fucking mud?" Michonne grumbled.

"The mud was here last time. Why are you acting so shocked?" Jagadamba rolled her eyes at her.

Carl surprised his wife by picking her up from behind and walking her through the mud.

Michonne shook her head and scoffed. She had Judith in her arms and Rick had Carly-Jayne. He took his girlfriend by the hand and they carefully walked around it.

Marco did the same with a squirming Ana.

Bigelow not to be undone by a boy, swept his wife up.

Enid protested but he ignored her.

Once they made it onto solid ground, Enid squirmed away from him. And hit him.

"Never do that again. Stay original," she stormed off.

Bigelow didn't understand her anger but explained it to himself as teenaged pregnant lady hormones.

He followed her to Glenn's grave where she placed green balloons. Sasha was already there.

The Daltons hugged her together and offered their condolences. They made no mention of being newlyweds.

Meanwhile, the rest visited Maggie. Michonne and Jagadamba both brought her food. Jagadamba made her the soan papdi desert that she liked so much and Michonne made her famous vegetable lasagna. Jagadamba rolled her eyes and clicked her tongue at it.

Maggie was showing, it was a small bump but one all the same.

Michonne asked, "Do you know what you're having?"

Maggie said with pride, "A boy. I am thinking about naming him after my father."

They all congratulated her. Except Jagadamba.

Thoughts went straight her late son whose supposed to be third birthday was mere days away.

The vivid remembrance of the little life stolen from her paralyzed the young woman.

Carl looked over his shoulder and saw his wife's vacant but melancholy stare. He knew what it meant.

He walked over to her and put his arms around her. He kissed her forehead. She held in tears.

Maggie saw what she did as a slight and always critical of the seventeen year old, she said regarding her swath of white hair, "Making a fashion statement?"

"Fright from when I thought I lost almost everyone," she said holding onto Carl.

Maggie grew momentarily jealous and became catty as a result.

"I heard you're really having twins. You're what? Eight weeks? I am five months and some change and you are a little bigger than me."

"I am thirteen weeks," Jagadamba said refraining from calling her a dumb bitch aloud and excused herself.

Carl sighed and asked, "Why the hell did you say that? Like she isn't self conscious enough?"

"I didn't mean anything by it. She think she would have a thicker skin having been an actress."

"I know you have been through a lot and are still going through it but nothing gives you the right to be shitty to my wife," Carl frowned.

Maggie apologized. As she did so, she reached for the sweet treat the girl had made.

Feeling a little petty, he snatched it out her grasp and said, "My wife has nut allergies. She always did. This is full of almonds and cashews. She had to take a copious amount of benadryl and wear gloves and a facemask to prepare this just for you. Last time, Priyanka made it. She gave you thought and all you can think to do is insult her? I know her and Glenn were more friendly than the two of you but still."

"I like your wife fine. But, Enid is like a sister. She hurt my sister over you. That's what."

"They made up. So, get over it."

Carl acted like he was going to put it in the trash but he instead put it on the table nearest the door.

When he left, Maggie asked, "What's happened to our boy? I don't know how you stand him? Or her?"

"They are seventeen. Bad decisions are kinda their thing. That's when you have to love them the most when it is the hardest. Besides, he wasn't wrong. She's a good girl. She tries. She broke out in hives, Mags. This is your first pregnancy. This is her sixth. And she's teeny, tiny. So, yeah, she going to show quicker than you are."

"Her sixth? She's a baby. She acts hard but she is," Maggie said with sympathy.

Rick nodded.

"She's just so entitled. Reminds me of every mean girl that thought she was better than me just cause. That's my drama. But, still."

Rick shook his head and wanted to agree but declined doing so.

He really wanted to give Jagadamba a chance. After all, they had both been betrayed and the other made it easier to cope.

Twenty minutes passed and Jagadamba insisted Enid go first.

Enid invited her to join her and Carl she but declined.

When Bigelow overheard this, he uninvited himself as well.

Carl was behind Enid and was surprised Bigelow wasn't behind him, "Dude, come on."

"Nah. This is a private moment between the two of you. I get it. You two made a little life together. And I have to share. I am not ecstatic about it but it is what it is. I want her and the baby but I know there are boundaries that as stepdad I can't cross."

Carl scoffed and said, "I prefer the term spirit dad. Or bonus dad. I am in your shoes to a certain extent. Your baby sister is my spirit daughter. I don't like the way step sounds. I see her as mine. We chose to be family. And I would like for you and my son or daughter to do the same.

I have been doing some thinking-"

Bigelow jokingly interrupted, "I didn't know you could."

Carl made a face at him and continued, "I am not unrealistic. There are going to be times where you are around my child more than me. And I have no problem with that. Because I know my little girl or boy couldn't ask for a better man that's not me or my father. You love hard. You love sight unseen. You did the unthinkable to a father I am sure you loved with all your heart for a random little girl you did not know. Because it was the right thing to do.

My wife and daughter would be dead without you. My life would be less without you. You are a good man. Who wouldn't want you to help raise their child? Plus, Enid chose you. I support her whether we are together or not. So, as far as I am concerned you're Dad and I am Papa. I love you, brother," Carl meant every fucking word.

Bigelow was astonished and speechless by Carl's maturity.

The six foot, five inch tall beautiful behemoth of a man became a puddle of tears.

All he could do was hug Carl.

"He finally managed to say, "Maybe I am wrong about you. Maybe you're not a ticking time bomb."

"And you're not some creepster laying low for my girl."

His father caught some of his speech. Rick could not have been prouder.

_I knew that boy had some of me in him, _Rick thought.

"Come on. Let's go see our kid," Carl patted him on the back.

Dr. Carson couldn't have been anymore congenial as the two walked in.

This being Enid's first pregnancy, he treated her with kid gloves.

When he found out Carl was the father of her kid, he shook his head and said, "I see you and your father have decided to repopulate the Earth."

Carl frowned, "What does that mean?"

"Literally, just yesterday, a lady named Priyanka, one of Negan's wives-"

"Wives? She is my mother in law," Carl said.

Dr. Carson balked at this at first then he thought about it. Once he got past their aesthetic differences.

"She looks like her mother. Just part black," he said aloud.

"And?" Carl asked.

"Priyanka's pregnant with your dad's child. You guys knew, right?"

"Why the hell would you think that?" Bigelow scoffed.

Enid laughed dryly.

"If there is a problem to be had a Grimes will find it. Good lord, I hope our kid doesn't inherit that," Enid said.

The good doctor asked them not to say anything to Rick until he could the chance to.

"She made it sound like you guys knew," he explained. She had done so purposefully. She knew it get back to Rick sooner or later. She hoped it would inspire rebellion in him.

Carl was annoyed with the doctorl which was why he took exception with what happened next.

"Do you have to press on her stomach so hard? You did not do that to Enid," Carl fussed protectively.

"I assure you I am not hurting her. I have to apply a little pressure," he said.

"Jagadamba, you okay?"

"Yes. It doesn't hurt, love," she batted her eyes at him.

Soon they heard the whooshing- their babies heartbeats all mixed up with hers.

Carl put his hand over his mouth and tears poured out his eye. Wife watched him like a hawk. She began to cry, too.

When he finally managed to speak, Carl wept, "That's the most beautiful sound I ever heard."

Dr. Carson replied, "Isn't it?

Here's baby A and baby B. What the?"

"Dude, seriously? What's wrong?" Carl asked.

"Yeah, what he said."

"I thought you were awfully big for your first trimester. There's baby C. It's triplets. But, this one is fraternal. I think this little critter hid last time."

Neither said a word. They just looked at each other.

Carl spoke first, "What does this mean? Will she be okay?"

"I am not going to lie to either of you. This pregnancy is extremely high risk. Even when I had a hospital at my disposal this would have been the prognosis. I am putting you on bed rest."

"But, I feel better. I am a little tired but babies do that that. I have a four year old. And two fosters. I can't just lie in bed all day."

"You have to take it easy. Watch your diet. Keep your salt intake moderate. You don't want gestational diabetes or preeclampsia, just to name a few," he continued on for a couple minutes.

The two of them were holding hands as he spoke.

The increasing dread was palpable. But, most of all, there was a callousness in the physician's voice that pissed him off.

"Asshole, that's enough," Carl interrupted.

Insulted, Carson replied, "Excuse me, little boy?"

"All I am hearing right now is you absolving yourself of all responsibility for my wife and children. High risk this and high risk that. Ultimately, it's in God's hands but damn it you're going to help. If she or my babies die because you have already washed your hands of this. I am going to murder you, _doctor_. Let's see how nonchalant you're going to be then," Carl was dead serious. And his wife felt this.

She felt loved while the doctor tried to conceal his fear.

"I can assure you that your young family is in the best hands. I was at the top of my class at Vanderbilt. A luminary in my field. These three little lives are safe. Her life is the one I am the most concerned with. You're seventeen. This is your umpteenth pregnancy-"

"Sixth. What are you implying? I hate your tone. She was a girl. A victim who became a survivor. Have you told him?" Carl asked about her rape.

She shook her head no.

His eye asked permission to.

She nodded.

"I get the impression you think she's a whore. A black whore. I saw you with Maggie and Enid. You were gentle with them. But, you're treating her like this is her fault. Your first response was to kill them. Why? You act like all she does is have babies and collects the welfare.

Our oldest happened when someone she thought was an old friend raped her. She was twelve. He was fifty-something.

That tall, blonde guy who was in here, he was his son. He killed him to stop him from killing her. Our next kid was a rape baby, too. She was forced to marry him or he was going to murder her family in front of her and pass her around like a joint. Then he murdered their kid because he was deaf.

And hell, this pregnancy, her mom sabotaged our condoms. This wasn't some scheme on her behalf. Don't disrespect my wife. You don't know shit about her," he said feeling like such a man at the moment.

Carson apologized profusely. Jagadamba forgave him but he wasn't so quick to.

He went and got Carly-Jayne and the Garcias for their check up.

Afterwards, he knew Judith was next.

He decided to give his dad a head's up.

"We're not having twins after all. Its triplets. This one's fraternal," Carl said with a smile to conceal how frightened he was.

Rick and the rest were floored and excited for them. They all gathered around the young couple.

Enid said only half joking, "You just had to show me up, didn't you?"

Jagadamba blew a raspberry while the forever messy Carl added, " Guys, I have some more big news-" Carl paused for dramatic effect. He cleared his throat and said, "I also found out me and the misses here also share a little sister or brother. Priyanka was here yesterday. She's pregnant and its yours, Dad."


	12. Ch 10- If I Didn't Know Any Better pt 3

**July 6- Like A Serial Killer**

"It's not everyday a girl turns thirty," Elliott said presenting Michonne with a fancy plastic tiara and a strawberry Kool-Aid and vodka margarita.

Which caused her to ask, "Do you have anymore of these tiaras? Judith, Carly-Jayne and Ana would love this. I wouldn't want them to fight over it."

"Girl, but of course. You know I am like cat when it comes to shiny shit. I got a kickass tea set, too. I always wanted nieces. Or daughters. Whichever came first. I will bring it by in the morning. In the mean by, let's par-tay."

Michonne went along with it until she couldn't.

"I need some fresh air," Michonne said almost running out the door.

Sometimes, Elliott could be a bit much. She wanted to celebrate her birthday but Michonne wasn't really in the mood. However, she did leave with the three tiaras.

Twenty minutes passed.

Now, she sat in the barn silently weeping.

She was deep in her pity party when she felt a tap on her shoulder.

She turned around and saw a smiling Carl.

"What's with the crowns?" He said tapping the one on her head and noticing the ones in her hand.

"Elliott wanted to party. I wasn't feeling it. She had some extra tiaras so she gave them to me for Judith, C.J. and Ana."

"How nice," he decided to join her on the bale of hay she was sitting on. He placed a container he had in his hands behind him.

He resumed talking, "Anyway, I have been trying to find a way to get you alone all fricking day. Happy Birthday, Michonne. I got you something," he said reaching into his pocket and presenting her a necklace from his collection of high end jewelry he found in the woods.

It was an "M" entrusted with two carats of diamonds on twenty-four carat chain with a bearclaw clasp.

Michonne was touched by this even though it wasn't really her style.

"This is one of those few times the thought actually does count but you know I can't accept this. Not without a bunch of shit."

"See, I took that into consideration. So, I stopped by Elliott's first and gave her an E necklace so she could take credit for it and say she gave it to you. Like a friendship thing. Chicks still do that, right?"

Michonne smiled at the consideration.

Carl then asked, "What did Dad get you? A pack of old Mentos? They are the freshmaker."

He laughed. Michonne grunted.

"Nothing. I didn't tell him."

"Why not?"

"He's passive aggressive and I wanted to avoid disappointment."

"Dad has a thing about birthdays unless they are mine. He would've remembered you. He can't expect you to get naked with him if he doesn't. He and I have that much in common."

"So, are you expecting nudity from me?" She flirted opening her legs unconsciously.

Blushing hard, Carl replied, "I wouldn't say, 'Oh, no, please don't but nawl,' I am not saying that. It pains me to say it but Sheriff Andy loves you almost as much as I do you. I loved you first.

He's just catching up. So, may I put this necklace on you or what? I know it's not necessarily your bag but I mean it. I revel in the fact you were born. You accept, Michonne?"

Michonne blushed and giggled.

"Fine. Fine! I accept, stupid, sexy Flanders," she said swiveling to reveal her back to him.

He put it on her.

She turned back around.

"Beautiful. Necklace looks good, too," he smiled.

She blushed. Grimes men had the power to make her do that like no other.

"Thank you, Carl. This is sweet."

"Welcome. It was my pleasure. I got you something else. Well, I made it," he reached down and handed her the blue lidded Pyrex glass bowl.

She cracked it open. The contents almost knocked her down.

"You remembered?" She was brought to tears.

Her grandmother, Charlesetta owned an eponymous restaurant and her specialty was stuffed vegetables especially bellpeppers.

They were so famous in fact Stouffer had been rumored to have bought the recipe from her for a tidy sum.

At any rate, her grandmother would always prepare this dish especially for her. The comfort of it was a welcoming balm especially on days when in middle school kids would torture her relentlessly because of her skinny frame and dark complexion; calling her names such as burnt match, the darkness and Wesley Snipes to mention a few.

This was something she had mentioned to him only once in passing years ago.

"I know it's probably doesn't hold a candle to your grandma's recipe. But, I ran across the recipe in an old Better Home and Gardens- wait I guess they are all old at this point. Anyway, it took a couple weeks to get it together but I made it five days ago and stored it in the freezer of one of those abandoned houses. Dad put me in charge of the unused keys awhile back," he was half rambling at this point.

"I don't know what else to say other than thank you? This is so and thoughtful."

"That's me. Mister Mindful."

They grinned at each other.

He scooted closer to her and moved dreads from her face. He then caressed her cheek.

Unable and unwilling to help himself, he kissed her so gently like she thin crystal and the slightest touch would cause her to shatter.

Michonne pulled out the embrace standing up.

Not wanting it to end, he went from a breeze to a gale force wind, pushing her up against the barn wall.

He kissed her so hard she couldn't breathe. She didn't mind. She liked it when he was aggressive.

He slid his hands under her shirt feeling her smooth, deep skin goosebumped at his touch.

Another minute passed. She pushed him away and said, "I can't allow you to break your promise. Leave. Nothing is more important than your relationship with your wife."

"I remember what I said in the closet. I want to be good. I do. But, what I feel for you. I think it might be too strong. I love you."

Michonne blushed, "Carl, how we feel doesn't matter."

"I wish she were you."

"You don't mean that."

"I have seen some sides of her this past couple days that I simply am afraid of. Don't like. Because it's my dark side, too. I enjoyed giving in to it. You would never let me go there," he said playing with her fingers.

"Our affair isn't exactly a shining beacon of righteousness. We've hurt people that we both proclaim to love. Nothing is more darker than that," she pulled away.

"I don't know. We killed, no we murdered nine people who came looking for help at the hotel. Then we put their heads on spikes just north of the fire.

She thought they were Saviors pretending. I agreed at the time. I was so angry. All I can see was Glenn and Abraham. How he threatened Tommie and kidnapped my Mom. I killed three of them. Cut off four of the heads."

He had let Michonne go and slid to the ground.

Michonne knew she couldn't judge much. Killing people in their sleep is a dick move no matter how you cut it.

Carl added, "She said we are at war whether Dad wants to deal with it or not. And it's not murder during wartime. I asked her according to who? And she replied God and the Geneva convention."

"She has started some shit we didn't need. If they were Saviors, consequences. Bad enough she burned it down and invited all those people to live here. If they weren't Saviors- and a party of another group? New enemies. Fuck."

"I thought that, too. I want to have guilt but I don't. Not real guilt. I think they were Saviors, too. We got them first this time. You and dad wouldn't have helped them but you would've let them go."

"I don't know. I used to think mercy had the propensity to be a horrible mistake until one day I showed up outside a prison and son said to his father I think we should help her. You changed my life that day."

"And you, mine," on that note, Carl began to weep.

"Should we have helped those people? What if we had been wrong?" He said with a heavy heart.

"You killed them before they could kill you. No shame in that. Eight times out of ten they were Negan's men."

"I mean. I just don't really know if I want my children to be to be raised in such a violent and untrusting world.

A world where their grandpa is underfoot and their grams and uncle is held captive by some piece of shit asshole. Something has to been done. I wish there was a nonviolent way to go about it but I fear there just isn't."

"Cause there's not. Rick is no shape to broach the subject of war. He's just not."

"That's a problem. He always makes it him and his stupid ego. I know I want peace but war is the only way to get it."

"This conversation is dangerous. We shouldn't be putting this mess out into the air. Words carry weight."

"I know. I wished for Jagadamba to return to me and she did. I wished for Judith, too. And Enid, my Dad for that matter. And you, too. Shit, maybe Enid was right. Maybe I am a wizard," he laughed half heartedly.

"I see why they made Freckles queen. She is fierce."

"She is. Its kinda frightening if not a little hot."

"How many did she kill?"

"Two, three? Some other Pharaohs took out the rest," Carl drifted off a little bit. There was a sadness in him that hadn't been there before.

Michonne sensed it. She clutched his hand and asked, "What's wrong?"

"I overheard some of the Hilton Pharaohs talking and apparently they knew about me but that's not a big deal. Before me and after Cortez, she was exclusively lesbian. Like not I Kissed a Girl Katy Perry gay but real Lady Gaga Poker Face gay. Like she can be with a guy but she thinking of a girl gay."

"Can you blame her after Cortez and Galen?"

"If you believe her, the sexual assault has nothing to do with her sexuality. She likes girls. A lot. So, that leaves me to believe that one day, her fascination with me may fade and she's going to give in to her real attractions to women and she's going to fall in love with another woman and leave me. I just know it. What do you think?"

She wanted to agree. But, instead she replied, "You think she isn't afraid of the same thing?"

"Probably. But, she can have anyone she wants. I can't."

Michonne laughed at him.

"You really got to cut it out with the low esteem. You lost your virginity when? Three months ago. Not even that. You got two pretty ass girls in love with you. Both pregnant. Married one. And one is black-ish and the other is a white Jew. No one who heard your story would feel sorry for you. I can't say that enough."

Carl blushed hard and thought about their afternoon and night together.

Something Michonne purposely didn't mention.

He clutched her hand before lacing their fingers together.

They kissed again and crumbled to the floor together.

They separated long enough for him to sit back against the wall and for her to straddle him.

This time their hands went straight to the point and for each other's belts.

Soon afterwards, they both squirmed out of their pants.

Michonne found herself in his lap and he held himself in place as she sat down on his penis; doing the thing they knew they hdd no right to do.

It lasted a good ten minutes. No, it wasn't earth shattering or life changing. It was a pleasant exchange of fluid and energy. They came. It was the type of sex where given more time they would've did it again for more intense results. Time just wouldn't give them time.

They kissed a little while longer before Michonne got up to retrieve her pants.

As she bent over, Carl took the moment to smack her on the ass.

She squealed and playfully threw hay at him.

She spoke first, "We can't make a habit if this. Too risky. Next time should be another day like today. Chaotic. So much so, Rick and Jag don't miss us. Say when the Saviors come."

"Wait. You want to do this again?" He asked almost catching his penis in his zipper.

"Sure. Why not? Cause apparently we don't have any self control around each other. We clearly want to be caught. We just fucked in a barn. Yeah, I am a little tipsy so my inhibitions are down but that's no real excuse."

"I don't feel bad about it and neither do you. If that makes me sound like a serial killer. So be it. I have decided I am not sweating every little thing."

"We should feel horribly. Shouldn't we?" She asked pouting because she didn't.

He hunched and kissed her again. Soon, they were groin-y again.

They were standing up with Michonne's back against the wall and one of her legs around his waist. He pumping at an angle. It hurt his back but the resulting almost boisterous response from her and how good it felt to him, he could endure a little back pain.

This time barely lasted seven minutes but their passion burnt more ardently this time.

Hot and sweaty, they both chuckled as they made eye contact.

Carl's head felt funny. He only recalled this airy feeling after ejaculating twice before. Like he had gave invisible part of himself away.

Carl said in a low voice, "If I didn't know any better, I swear we just made a little girl."

Just as breathy, she replied, "Good thing I know better, huh? Tubes tied, remember?"

"You keep saying that."

They got dressed for real this time.

They knew better than to leave together.

But, as Michonne left first, Carl shouted, "Who is Lee Harvey Oswald? It sounded familiar but I couldn't place the name."

"Random much? He's the dipshit who took the fall for killing JFK. Why?"

"I overheard those same Pharaohs I told you about say I look like Oswald with luxurious hippy hair."

Michonne looked at him and laughed. She could see the resemblance. Albeit he was a much better looking version.

Knowing Carl's self esteem as such, she replied, "Those people are blind assholes."

Carl smiled and said, "Happy birthday."

She nodded as she played with her necklace and waved with Judith's crown and her bell pepper in the other.

During their whole encounter, the tiara never feel off Michonne's head.

When Michonne made home, she was shocked to be greeted with the smell of cake baking. The further she got in, she was even more shocked to see Rick and Jagadamba chattering over a photo album.

"Hey, Birthday Girl. Why didn't you tell me?" Rick said getting up to greet her.

They kissed and she replied, "I didn't want to make a fuss."

"Make a fuss? Bullshit. You thought I wouldn't care. Well, I do. I am gotta go rustle you up a gift. Speaking if which, Elliott?" He said noticing the necklace. He figured she had to be the one to know.

Jagadamba remained silent. Her attention was drawn to the glass bowl. She knew it came from her kitchen because the hairline fracture on the side. She knew whatever the contents Carl had given it to her.

Fighting her hurt and rage, she asked calmly, "What's in the bowl?"

"Elliott made me a stuffed bellpepper."

"Like Madear used to make."

Michonne grinned big at the memory.

Jagadamba kept talking.

"Elliott told me she wasn't much of a cook. Wow. She must really love you," Jagadamba using her acting to keep from picking up a butcher knife and slitting her aunt's throat.

_Lying fucking bitch, _she thought.

"It's good to have a friend," Rick said starting to sense the tension.

He sat down and returned to the photo album. In there was a picture of his son and daughter in law's joint eighth birthday party.

"Mic, look. You and have met before," he pointed that he and she were in the foreground sharing a laugh while Lori, Shane, Carl and Jagadamba were in the front.

Michonne sat down to take a look.

"Oh, snap. How young I was then. Look at my afro. I had just started going natural. I had literally just found out I was . . . pregnant," her mind drifted off to what Carl said in the barn about a little girl. She couldn't breathe for a moment.

Rick assumed this was grief. He was right in a way.

Jagadamba took this as an opportunity to exact a revenge of sorts.

She slowly and purposefully knocked the bowl on the floor knowing full it would break.

"Oh, no!" She exclaimed.

She continued, "Auntie, I will make you another one. I am sorry."

The girl came off as so sincere that Michonne ignored what her gut was telling her- that she did it on was purpose.

Jagadamba jumped out her chair to clean it up. Rick stopped her and said, "I got it."

Rick felt the same.

_Damn, she is good, _Ruck thought.

Soon afterwards, Jagadamba convinced Rick and Michonne to come with her to greet the new residence.

She even talked Michonne into distributing her birthday cake as a gift. This had been her intention from day one when she suggested it to her father in law.

She was determined to hurt Michonne. Make her feel small. Look small. She wanted to destroy her by degrees.

**Day 25- Baby, Take It Easy.**

The Saviors were a mile away from Richmond when they saw burned out buildings and thin clouds of opaque wisps of burping black smoke in the distance.

To add insult to injury, nine Saviours heads were on spikes.

Priyanka knew right away Alice aka Jagadamba was responsible for it. They had done something similar at the pedophile compound.

She face palmed her forehead in consternation.

_She didn't? _She thought.

They drove closer. Negan was the third car in the five car caravan. There was little doubt why the two ahead of him stopped.

Negan got out and walked in the direction of the first one.

Dwight had been at the fore and met him halfway.

Priyanka stepped out.

Dwight saw her and made eye contact beseeching her to go back in. She did.

After twenty minutes, Negan returned looking visibly pissed.

He rolled his eyes at Priyanka and sniffed. After all, this teenaged devil baby was hers. Therefore in a way he saw it as her fault.

Priyanka said nothing at first. Opting to feel him out instead. She knew he blamed her.

He sat there quietly fuming.

He spoke first.

"Contrary apple doesn't fall that fucking far from the contrary tree, huh?"

"She's been around the Grimeses too long and she has pregnant brain. I know they'll be consequences but do there have to be? She is your stepdaughter. Let it go. Maybe?"

Negan laughed mirthlessly.

"You know I can't allow anyone especially a little girl to one up me."

Priyanka took this as a cue to cry. Like her daughter, she was absolutely tragic when she cried.

Negan melted and said in a sigh before he hit the steering wheel to punctuate every word, "What's the worse thing I can do to her other then acquaint her with Lucille that will also rankle your babydaddy, too?" He decided to let her pick the punishment.

She was hoping he would let her choose it.

As her mother and sort of older sister (Jayne did adopt her daughter after all,) she knew how get Jagadamba's goat and teach her a lesson without making her bleed.

"Well. . ."

**Day 6- Him?**

"He ain't even that cute. Kinda reminds me of an one eyed, scrawny, slightly better looking Lee Harvey Oswald with luxurious hippy hair. His hair is fabulous," said Elena, a Pharaoh.

Clarence laughed.

"He alright. He's nice enough. Maybe he got a big dick or something. She is pregnant." Clarence said.

"Dick size ain't got shit to do with getting someone knocked up.

Besides, You're missing the point. She's barely been gone three months. I thought she was a dyke," she hunched.

"Apparently, not. I heard he is the son of the leader of that place she lives now. Why not fuck the leader? She is the queen. Why not fuck the boss?" He hunched.

"You would think that, wouldn't you, Clarence. never heard of Carl? He was her childhood sweetheart. He's the reason for her season. She refound her first love. She's blessed."

He replied, "I wouldn't be so sure. He got another girl pregnant, too I heard.

And it's not just that. Think about all she went through to find him. She ran away. She was kidnapped. Raped. Got impregnated when she twelve. Gave birth at thirteen. Got kidnapped again. Forced into a marriage. Gets pregnant again. Has a handicapped son. He gets murdered by her husband. Husband almost murders her when he scalded her. She survived. Becomes mass murderer. I love that young woman but I am not going sugarcoat what she done. What we done. We killed a lot of people."

"They believed in Cortez. People like that didn't deserve to live. Who cosigns a twelve year old getting married to a creep? Or the death of a newborn?"

"True. But were Supreme Court Judges. Wrong is wrong."

"Don't be such a black and white moralist. She's no Negan," Elena frowned.

"Let's face it. We were supposed to take that place over. Only she didn't. Because of some boy she loved as a child. He's that last little piece of who she used to be."

"What's wrong with that?"

"Are you serious? Everything."

**Day 25- Square**

Rick was mostly quiet. He didn't know how to feel. Glad? Sad? Ashamed? Protective?

Impotent. Impotent seemed to be the prevailing word.

_I have a child that I can't get to. Negan knows. That fucker is gonna claim my baby as his. Oh, Lord, have mercy._

Rick fell to his knees in a heap. Weeping. Like what he and his son had on the way. A baby.

Carl immediately felt horribly.

He went towards his father to apologize but his wife intercepted and said, "You stay the fuck away from him. Asshole. Sometimes, I can't believe you. That's your little brother or sister being held hostage by some piece of shit. Mine, too. He already has Dare.

Rick, come here," Jagadamba was seemingly pissed at Carl. The least he could have done was tell her first.

Rick accepted the comfort. He cried into her shoulder and clutched her tight.

Judith and Carly-Jayne followed Jagadamba's lead and went to hug him. His arms accepted them all.

Rick looked up and saw Michonne run off distraught and betrayed. And pissed. Pissed was the prevailing emotion.

He broke away from them and ran after her.

Feeling unwanted and hated by everyone present including Bigelow, Enid and even Dr. Carson, who said, "I had asked you not to tell," he said rolling his eyes.

Jagadamba grabbed Carl by his collar and dragged him toward the now vacant examination room.

"You ought to be ashamed of yourself," she said as she opened the door.

She led them in and slammed the door behind.

There was a CD player in the corner.

She turned it on and blasted the last thing Carson had been listening to, If I Ever Lose My Faith In You by Sting.

She didn't want their conversation heard.

As she came towards him, he said with hands up, "Babe, I am sorry. It was petty. I just wanted to get his goat. He is such a hypocritical asshole. I-"

She took him completely by surprise and kissed him.

"Did you see the look on my bitch ass cousin-aunt's face? Classic. I wish I had a camera. Whore needs her feelings hurt like she hurt mine."

Carl was so shocked he stammered, "Y-y-you're not m-m-mad?"

She kissed him again and said smiling, "Hello, my name is Jacie Tony and I am an actress."

"So, what was the point of all that?"

"For your Dad's benefit. I am honestly not shocked. She literally just had a baby, what six weeks before? Her womb was wide open. He clearly it raw. How could she not get knocked up?" She scoffed.

"The thought occurred I thought I was being silly."

"Well. One thing did annoy me though. You could've told me first. Asshole," she slapped his face just hard enough to make it a little red.

It smarted.

"Sorry. I wasn't thinking. I just did it."

"Yeah. That's troublesome. You need to get over that immature shit. You are a dad now and my husband. Parents and spouses can't just do shit on a whim. What you do just doesn't affect only you."

"Funny how I said something similar about you burning down the Hilton and you did it anyway."

"That's different," she scoffed.

"Cause its you?"

"Well, yeah," she hunched.

"Goddamn it. You are so Priyanka's kid. Think you're act like you so much better than the rest of us."

Feeling a bit smug and deflecting from the fact she felt opposite most of the time, "As if you would have me any other way."

"I usually like that about you but right now it grates. Negan is going to retaliate. I just wonder how."

"I am not afraid of him, Carl."

"You should be. He married your mom. She is one of many wives apparently."

This undone Jagadamba.

"No, no. I know what's like to be in some egotist's stable of pussy. It's not sex. It's rape. The marriages always take place under duress. Always. Its bad enough he kidnapped them.

I bet he uses my brother as a weapon against her. And the baby in her belly, too. Like Cortez did with C.J. and Mo. This dude has all the power. He can do whatever he wants to do you whenever he feels like it.

Oh, my God. My mother doesn't deserve that. No woman deserves that type of life. It's hell. It's hell," she wept remembering her own experience with Cortez.

Carl sat beside her.

He wrapped his arms around her. She didn't shake off like she usually would have. She laced her arms around his neck.

"Baby, I know Priya. She is making the best of this. She's no one's slave.

She knew him beforehand. She can play him. You played Cort once you got to know him. She's thriving. She's you. More accurately, you're her. You actually think she's not okay?"

She looked at her husband and almost smiled.

A moment passed between them. He put his hand on her belly. He then said, "I just realized something. You called her my Mom. And not she's my mother or Priyanka or that bitch. What's changed?"

"How she took up for you that night with Negan. If she didn't have love for me, no way she would put her ass on the line for you. She loves you. How bad can she be?" Jagadamba smiled.

The couple sat in silence for a moment. They hunched one another and smiled.

"So, what are we doing once we go back out there?"

"I am giving you the silent treatment. A lot of side eyes. Gonna try my damnedest not to laugh at Michonne. Fucking black ass bitch."

She looked at Carl's face when she called her out her name

He frowned and rolled her eye at her unconsciously.

Jagadamba got up and shook her head.

In a soft, frustrated voice, she asked with hurt feelings, "Why did you marry me?"


End file.
